Thrilled About A Spill

Here’s a little-known fact about Miss Healthypants.

It seems that almost every day, I spill something—usually a cup of water, and usually all over magazines and remote controls that lie upon our coffee table. I don’t know why this is.

My hubby apparently knows why this is. He loves to advise me against being “careless.” I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard this before. And let me tell you, it’s loads of fun.

But yesterday I didn’t spill anything. Yesterday was a remarkable day for Miss Healthypants.

John and I went out to lunch at an Indian restaurant, and at the end of the meal when he reached for the check, he tipped his water glass all over the table. I was on the way to the restroom, so I just grabbed a couple of napkins for him and left him to clean up the mess. (Yeah, I’m nice like that.)

On the way back from the restroom, I saw John really struggling to fight back laughter.

“What?” I asked. “What happened?”

“I’ll tell you in a minute,” he giggled, putting on his jacket. “Let’s get going.”

The restaurant was 2 stories up, so we started down the stairs.

“What happened?” I repeated. “Tell me!”

John was just laughing and laughing.

“Tell me!” I insisted.

“No, I don’t tell stories on stairs,” John said. (Yes, this is apparently just one of a whole list of “Iwanski Rules.” I’ll have to tell you about them sometime.)

So once we were at the bottom of the stairs, he told me what had happened.

Apparently, a very nice waiter had come over and cleaned up all the water he had spilled (which was really quite a bit—it was a big water glass). And just as he finished cleaning it all up, John moved his arm and accidentally tipped over a bowl of pea soup—again, all over the table. He and the waiter both started laughing, and people around him just stared at him.

The nice waiter once again cleaned up the Iwanski spillage, and then John was left sitting there alone, staring at an empty, extremely clean table. He was trying hard not to think about it, but the image of him spilling the pea soup kept coming back into his head. And right there, sitting alone at a table in the middle of a crowded restaurant, John started laughing out loud. People were staring at him again. And the more they stared, the more he laughed. That’s apparently when I came along and we high-tailed it out of there.

As funny as it was, I couldn’t pass up the opportunity. I can’t tell you how thrilled I am that this time, I got to give Iwanski the lecture about being careless. These are moments that a wife lives for.