Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Hello, my name is Carla, and I’m an addict.

I have to admit, I’m addicted to 2 things: I’m addicted to approval, and to the Sims.

I believe I can break my addiction to the Sims. After all, they’re just a bunch of whiney people who can’t even get themselves to the bathroom without my help. What a bunch of pathetic losers!

And then there’s me, the other pathetic loser who likes to play the game. I guess it’s fun to feel smarter than a bunch of computerized people. See how crazy I am?

But I can stop playing the Sims. I have done this in the past, and I have survived. This has been proven.

However, I’m not so sure about my addiction to approval. I spend an inordinate amount of time wondering what people are thinking about me. Most of the time, I just assume they’re saying bad things about me. Why is that? I walk past 2 coworkers talking in hushed tones, they look up at me briefly, and I think, “What bad things are they saying about me?”

Or a coworker is unusually quiet, and I think, “Is she mad at me? What did I do to upset her?”

Why on earth do I think I’m so important in these people’s lives? It’s pretty sad, really.

I realize that it all really boils down to my ego. I know logically that what I really need to do is give my ego a big swift kick in the ass. My ego thinks that people are always thinking about me and commenting on me. Here’s what I think a conversation with my ego would go like:

Ego: Waa, waa, waa. Why is everyone always thinking and saying bad things about me?

Me: Dude, no one’s thinking or talking about you. And even if they were, why do you care?

Ego: Because I want people to like me!

Me: (SMACK!)

Ego: Ow! What’d you do that for?

Me: Because you need it. I oughtta do that more often.

Ego: Waaaa!!!!

Me: (SMACK!!!!!!!!!!) There. That should do it.

(Long Pause)

Ego (with an evil laugh): I’m still he-ere!

Me: Damn.

So much for beating up on my ego.

Is there a 12-step program for this? If not, I would like to invent it. I’d invite a bunch of people, lead the meeting, and then sit around afterwards wondering what they all thought about me.

Is there a way that I can choke my ego? I’ll try that next.


Lorraine said...

Oh my yord, it's about time you started a blog. This is most excellent, my dear. I, for one, approve most highly! (Of the blog and of you. Although that shouldn't matter to you).

Lorraine said...

Oh, and btw, please don't stop playing Sims. I didn't realize you shared this addiction and while I too have quit before, I never stay quit. Those whiny pathetic losers need me, dammit!

Miss Healthypants said...

Lorrainey, you are just too sweet!

And don't worry, I know I haven't completely broken my Sims addiction yet. I think I need to check into Sims rehab! *hee hee*


MHP :)

Mitchell said...

This is some real nice writing you have going on here. Nice blog. How many people do you have here in a day?

Mitchell said...

I am pretty new to this whole blogging thing so I don't know if there is any method to send you a message directly or not. So I have decided to simply repeat the steps that apparently got your attention in the first place.

I found your blog by pressing the "Next Blog" button at the top of the screen. I wrote about it in a post that is going to be coming out Sunday.

I also agree about the counter thing. But I just can't not do it. But I didn't want to have one of those annoying number lines anywhere on my page. So I go this thing called Google Analytics. I would highly recommend it. It just keeps track of the people coming and going and stuff like that. (I sound like a spokesperson for them)

And thank YOU for the nice comment. It is really helpful know that someone has read my blog.

Mitchell said...

OH! I meant to say that I saw your profile and read that you live in Chicago! I someday aspire to live in Chicago and work for WBEZ. That is my dream job.