I have to admit, I’m addicted to 2 things: I’m addicted to approval, and to the Sims.
I believe I can break my addiction to the Sims. After all, they’re just a bunch of whiney people who can’t even get themselves to the bathroom without my help. What a bunch of pathetic losers!
And then there’s me, the other pathetic loser who likes to play the game. I guess it’s fun to feel smarter than a bunch of computerized people. See how crazy I am?
But I can stop playing the Sims. I have done this in the past, and I have survived. This has been proven.
However, I’m not so sure about my addiction to approval. I spend an inordinate amount of time wondering what people are thinking about me. Most of the time, I just assume they’re saying bad things about me. Why is that? I walk past 2 coworkers talking in hushed tones, they look up at me briefly, and I think, “What bad things are they saying about me?”
Or a coworker is unusually quiet, and I think, “Is she mad at me? What did I do to upset her?”
Why on earth do I think I’m so important in these people’s lives? It’s pretty sad, really.
I realize that it all really boils down to my ego. I know logically that what I really need to do is give my ego a big swift kick in the ass. My ego thinks that people are always thinking about me and commenting on me. Here’s what I think a conversation with my ego would go like:
Ego: Waa, waa, waa. Why is everyone always thinking and saying bad things about me?
Me: Dude, no one’s thinking or talking about you. And even if they were, why do you care?
Ego: Because I want people to like me!
Ego: Ow! What’d you do that for?
Me: Because you need it. I oughtta do that more often.
Me: (SMACK!!!!!!!!!!) There. That should do it.
Ego (with an evil laugh): I’m still he-ere!
So much for beating up on my ego.
Is there a 12-step program for this? If not, I would like to invent it. I’d invite a bunch of people, lead the meeting, and then sit around afterwards wondering what they all thought about me.
Is there a way that I can choke my ego? I’ll try that next.