I Guess I Needed a Nanny

Well, it was bound to happen sooner or later. Miss Healthypants became sick again today.

But never fear, it was nothing that lots of water and assorted Gatorade-type beverages, an hour-long episode of Nanny 911, and then a four-hour nap couldn’t cure.

Yep, apparently that dizzy, hot, light-headed feeling just meant that I was REALLY thirsty and REALLY tired.

And apparently needin’ some Nanny 911 therapy.

OK, am I the only one who loves loves loves this show? I’m guessing yes. I can’t help it; there’s just something so satisfying about watching two idiot parents and a bunch of bratty kids get their come-uppance. And of course, there’s also that sentimental side of me that really digs on the fact that there’s always a happy ending.

But I realized something recently: the families on this show always have at least three or four horribly misbehaved kids. So my question is: if each time these parents kept having brattier and brattier children, then why on earth did they keep having them? Have they never heard of birth control? Or are they just gluttons for punishment? See?—idiots.

But I do have to say that this is the perfect show for when you’re feeling tired or sick or down in the dumps, because it’s all about hope. Each time, you think “This has got to be the worst family. If the nanny can turn this family around, then anything can happen.”

Like today, the show I tivo’d had a family with a kid who absolutely refused to be toilet trained. However, he would gladly use the front lawn or the flower garden to do his business. The kid was so terrified of using the toilet, he would hold it for hours and scream bloody murder at the mere thought of going in the bathroom. The poor nanny tried everything—she even brought a bunch of plants in around the toilet to make him feel like he was outside. But nothing worked—even him having an accident in his pants didn’t help. Finally, she enlisted the help of his big brother, who was finally able to make him feel better about using the toilet. Thank God, because it was a pretty disgusting habit he had gotten into. Something had to work—and it finally did.

Iwanski doesn’t quite understand why I like this show so much. The other day, I was watching an episode where a couple of little girls (sisters) were talking about the fact that they were adopted (and feeling badly about it). The nanny looked at them with tears in her eyes and said, “Being adopted means that you’re special, because you came from Mommy and Daddy’s hearts.”

I just lost it. The tears were flowing, and Iwanski was just smiling at me, clearly amused by my sentimentality.

OK, maybe it is more of a chick show.

But that’s okay, ‘cause I’m a chick. And I like it.