Monday, June 16, 2008

Why I’m Like A Dude – Sort-Of

I’m a Gemini, which means I have twin personalities. Or something like that. I have just figured out that my two personalities are dude and chick. Let me explain.

Here’s why I’m like a dude:

1. I like to drink beer and belch really loudly. (Iwanski can attest to this.)

2. I like to watch sports. Okay, so I don’t know players’ names like most sport enthusiasts, but I like to cheer with the best of them. I especially like cheering for the Bulls, the Cubs, and the Bears…and cheering against the Green Bay Packers. (Having lived 25 years in Wisconsin, I was a Packer fan until I got sick of all the hype surrounding the team. People up there literally worship the Packers. There is an actual book called “Leap of Faith: God Must Be a Packer Fan.” Seriously.)

3. I notice and comment on women’s cleavage when it’s particularly—err, noticeable. (Iwanski can also attest to this. Often I notice the large cleavage before he does and point it out to him. He is very grateful to me when I do that.)

4. I like watching stupid comedies where the humor is all about people getting hit in the crotch and stuff like that.

Here’s why I’m like a chick:

1. I like to watch love stories, no matter how unrealistic they are. (The Lake House comes to mind. I absolutely loved that movie.)

2. I like to talk on the phone with my girlfriends and analyze and overanalyze every conversation with everybody I’ve come into contact with in the past week.

3. I loved the Sex In The City movie and cried several times during it.

4. I can cry at the drop of a hat.

5. I obsess about losing weight but refuse to give up chocolate or wine.

6. I dream about being a Mommy someday.

Hmmm…I just noticed that the chick list contains the words “overanalyze,” “cry” and “obsess,” while the dude list contains the words “beer,” “sports,” and “comedies.”

God, being a dude must be like heaven. They just don’t know how lucky they are.


Anonymous said...

so, does that make Iwanski half gay?

LP Cards Fan said...

And we can pee standing up. It really is a nice life.

Miss Healthypants said...

Anonymous--doesn't it make ME half gay? *LOL* Actually, according to a friend of ours who's gay, Iwanski is the straightest guy he's ever met--no gay-dar there! :)

LP Cards Fan--you are LUCKY!!!! :)

Citymouse said...

I can relate!

Mathman6293 said...

Wow, you are much like my dear spouse. She has many of those beer belching, cleavage noticing qualities man qualities. Now if I could get her to watch a baseball game.