Ah yes, yet another Iwanski rule has revealed itself.
Are you ready for Iwanski rule #17?
Are you sure??
OK, here it is:
IWANSKI RULE #17
You must not, under any circumstances, EVER use a gift bag to give a gift to someone. You must always use regular wrapping paper to wrap presents. Apparently if you attempt to use a gift bag, your head will explode or something.
I know it’s weird, but Iwanski is quite concerned that using a gift bag might signify that you didn’t put much thought into the present.
Miss Healthypants has attempted to thwart this rule in the past, saying things like, “But it’s a big basket full of bubble baths and lotions—can’t I just use a gift bag?” “No!” Iwanski responds, as if I just asked him if I could stab the cats. No, wait, he would probably like it if I stabbed the cats (since they’re always throwing up on the carpet and committing random acts of mischief). But you get the idea.
NO GIFT BAGS! Or else…you will incur the wrath of Iwanski.
Unless you’re Miss Healthypants, who ignores the Iwanski rules half the time, anyway. (Only she knows that the “wrath of Iwanski” merely consists of a smirk and a head shake.)