Saturday, March 6, 2010

Things That Iwanski and I Don’t Agree On

I was watching a movie on Lifetime tonight (yes, I admit it, I was actually watching the “I Hate Men” channel), and Iwanski kept talking about how bad the movie was and kept asking me to change the channel, until I finally relented and turned on “The Soup,” a show that we both enjoy.

But it got me thinking: Iwanski and I agree on most things—in fact, before we got married, the church made us take this “pre-marital quiz,” and I remember that the married couple who had administered the quiz to us were very surprised at how many things we agreed upon.

But after almost fourteen years of marriage, I have realized that there are also plenty of things that we don’t agree on. And after pondering on this for all of five minutes, here are some of those disagreements that came to mind:

Iwanski thinks that when socks are taken off, they should be balled up and thrown across the room—preferably at a nearby cat. I disagree (about the balling up and throwing of socks at felines; I’m fine with socks sitting there quietly on the floor, minding their own business).

I feel that the floor is a perfectly acceptable place to put any object—cereal boxes, two-liter soda bottles, purses, free weights…Iwanski feels that the floor is only acceptable for balled-up socks, and he freaks out about cereal boxes on the floor. (“We’re going to get bugs!”) No matter that we’re on the 21st floor of a downtown high rise, and the only bugs we’ve ever gotten in our apartment arrived via flour purchased in the grocery store. (Ewww, those were disgusting!)

Iwanski feels that two Snuggies in one apartment is too many Snuggies. I would be perfectly happy living in a Snuggie village. (Think of how comfy that would be! Ahhhh….)

I am happy when the heat is on full blast and it feels like Hawaii in our apartment. Iwanski likes it when it feels like Alaska in our apartment (and I’m wearing a sweatshirt, sweatpants, socks, and two Snuggies).

I love the movie “Pretty Woman.” I think Julia Roberts is wonderful, and I like the “rags to riches” story. Iwanski thinks it is the worst movie ever made.

Iwanski likes The John Dore Television Show, a mockumentary-style sitcom on IFC. I think John Dore is disgusting, and his show is absolutely ridiculous and horrible.

My idea of a wonderful meal is spaghetti, garlic bread, and a Caesar side salad. Iwanski is not much into Italian food—unless you count the can of Spaghettio’s that he eats at least once a week. (I don’t even count that as real food.)

Iwanski’s idea of a wonderful meal is a 4-piece spicy chicken meal from Popeye’s Chicken, with a biscuit and sides of fries and red beans and rice. I would throw up if I had to eat that meal. It just seems way too greasy to me.

So as you can see, we do disagree on a lot of things.

But we both agree that bacon is the best food known to mankind. And after all, a love of bacon is all a couple really needs to make a marriage work.


Lorraine said...

It kind of surprises me that the whole bacon thing doesn't come up more often in marriage prep. Working on good communication, praying together, not going to bed angry...that's all fine advice but they really should tell you up front about the bacon.

Daisy's Mom said...

So, you're ok with the germaphobe napkin mittens?

Wait, of course you are! We are ALL afraid of salmonella. That's why Donna and I surgically sterilize the kitchen when we do the turkey prep. (I think you married into a weird family)

Buck said...

I'm afraid I'm with Iwanski on the "Pretty Woman" thing.

She was a whore. He was a John. I would ball up my socks and throw them at both of them.

rosemary said...

I'm with you on the socks thrown at cats thing.....Steve throws pillows. I lurve bacon, Steve is a sausage man....we can't eat either one anymore. Hazards of a long marriage and health. Does living 21 floors up ever make you dizzy????

Sling said...

It's all about finding that common ground!..But would it kill ya to stop watching the 'I hate men' channel?..just sayin'.

sageweb said...

wow the whole sock thing would freak me out..socks are either on your feet, in the hamper or nicely folded in the dresser in the proper color section. I agree with him on putting food near or on the floor. I have dogs tho..and they would take advantage of cereal on the floor.

Mom said...

Life would be boring if you agreed about everything. Sounds like bacon is enough.

LP Cards Fan said...

My favorite bar now serves "bacon in a glass" which is exactly as described. Ordered it last night. 8 pieces of crisp bacon. In a glass.

Maria said...

Money isn't really important. But..toilet paper rolling, what to listen to in the car when you drive together and who has to kill spiders? Those things will break a marriage.

Anita said...

How did I miss this? What a hoot!
I think my husband puts up with things I like more than I do. He drifts to the scifi channel and I am like...............what, old reruns of Star Trek?
The sock would put me over on just the balling them up........someone has to undo those you know, or they come out of the laundry in the same nasty unclean ball.

Barb said...

Did you see the most recent "Cougars" show? It's the new one with Courtney Cox. Everyone made fun of her snuggie but before the end of the show she had them all wearing them. It made me think of you.