I was watching a movie on Lifetime tonight (yes, I admit it, I was actually watching the “I Hate Men” channel), and Iwanski kept talking about how bad the movie was and kept asking me to change the channel, until I finally relented and turned on “The Soup,” a show that we both enjoy.
But it got me thinking: Iwanski and I agree on most things—in fact, before we got married, the church made us take this “pre-marital quiz,” and I remember that the married couple who had administered the quiz to us were very surprised at how many things we agreed upon.
But after almost fourteen years of marriage, I have realized that there are also plenty of things that we don’t agree on. And after pondering on this for all of five minutes, here are some of those disagreements that came to mind:
Iwanski thinks that when socks are taken off, they should be balled up and thrown across the room—preferably at a nearby cat. I disagree (about the balling up and throwing of socks at felines; I’m fine with socks sitting there quietly on the floor, minding their own business).
I feel that the floor is a perfectly acceptable place to put any object—cereal boxes, two-liter soda bottles, purses, free weights…Iwanski feels that the floor is only acceptable for balled-up socks, and he freaks out about cereal boxes on the floor. (“We’re going to get bugs!”) No matter that we’re on the 21st floor of a downtown high rise, and the only bugs we’ve ever gotten in our apartment arrived via flour purchased in the grocery store. (Ewww, those were disgusting!)
Iwanski feels that two Snuggies in one apartment is too many Snuggies. I would be perfectly happy living in a Snuggie village. (Think of how comfy that would be! Ahhhh….)
I am happy when the heat is on full blast and it feels like Hawaii in our apartment. Iwanski likes it when it feels like Alaska in our apartment (and I’m wearing a sweatshirt, sweatpants, socks, and two Snuggies).
I love the movie “Pretty Woman.” I think Julia Roberts is wonderful, and I like the “rags to riches” story. Iwanski thinks it is the worst movie ever made.
Iwanski likes The John Dore Television Show, a mockumentary-style sitcom on IFC. I think John Dore is disgusting, and his show is absolutely ridiculous and horrible.
My idea of a wonderful meal is spaghetti, garlic bread, and a Caesar side salad. Iwanski is not much into Italian food—unless you count the can of Spaghettio’s that he eats at least once a week. (I don’t even count that as real food.)
Iwanski’s idea of a wonderful meal is a 4-piece spicy chicken meal from Popeye’s Chicken, with a biscuit and sides of fries and red beans and rice. I would throw up if I had to eat that meal. It just seems way too greasy to me.
So as you can see, we do disagree on a lot of things.
But we both agree that bacon is the best food known to mankind. And after all, a love of bacon is all a couple really needs to make a marriage work.