Tuesday, October 21, 2008

It's A Keeper!

What’s the weirdest thing that you’ve ever kept for years and years?

I bet I can beat them all.

And no, I’m not talking about the ten years of basketball, baseball, and football preview magazines that Iwanski for some reason insists on holding onto.

I’m talking about a HOT DOG that was sitting in a desk drawer for SEVEN YEARS.

That’s right, I said a HOT DOG, IN A DRAWER, for SEVEN YEARS.

Iwanski’s Mom thought that it would be just wonderful if she could keep one of the last hot dogs sold at the old Comiskey Park (which was torn down in 1990).

So she kept it. In a wrapper. In a desk drawer.

Years later, when Iwanski and I were given that desk, his brother-in-law Tony (who had helped move the desk) told him, "Your Mom said she kept the last hot dog sold at Comiskey in the bottom drawer of the desk. She thought you might want it."

And did Iwanski want it?

Well, not really. But hell, since it was there, he had to take a look. He carefully unwrapped the package. According to him, it had basically "mummified." (That should tell you how many preservatives and chemicals are in a hot dog!)

And what happened next?

Iwanski sent the hot dog to its grave in the bottom of the trash.

Thank GOD it’s gone.


Diane said...

I have a weird one. I kept an inch and a half sliver of wood I got stuck in my buttock from a wooden bleacher when I was in junior high. It hurt like he**! I got it in 6th hour phy. ed. and had to sit through one class period and a bus ride home with that thing in my a**! When I got home my parents were still at work and my older sister refused to pull the sucker out. Finally when my mom got home and tried to pull it out she got frustrated with me because I kept clenching my glutes! She threatened to call my dad in to pull it out if I didn't stop. To this day the sliver is still sitting in an overturned metal jar cover by the kitchen sink at my parent's house. Weird, I know, but no one can believe I had a sliver that long up my rearend until they see it!

Anonymous said...

I do have one correction to the hot dog story. The infamous hot dog was not kept in a drawer for seven years. It was actually kept in a freezer for seven years, and by the time the desk was moved, it had basically been "freeze-dried". Mom just threw it into the drawer because the desk was being moved, and hell, she thought Iwanski would want it since it held such great sentimental value. Keeping it in a drawer probably would have been OK at that point, but I'm glad to hear he threw it away. I can't tell you how many times I wanted to.

Miss Healthypants said...

Diane-chickie, that is so freakin' bizarre!--and hilarious! :) OK, I fully expect to see that sliver when we visit your Mom & Dad's house! :)

Anonymous--thanks for the correction--I didn't know those details! Oh, well, I still think it's weird. :)

Anonymous said...

If you guys didn't want the last Komisky hot dog why didn't you give it back? MOM

sageweb said...

Oh my goodness. LOL at Mom.
I don't save anything. I must not be sentimental at all.

Leah said...

whoa, you've got me beat for sure!! I bet the hotdog didn't even go bad, with all the preservatives & what not.

Maybe you should have sold it on EBAY, I'm sure someone would've picked it up ;)

rosemary said...

coffee tables, mummified hot dogs and chickens...a true picture of Americana. Does mom know you threw out the doggie?

Mathman6293 said...

You tossed an historic dog from the last game at Old Comsikey? I watched that game with my Grandma on TV. I still have the video tape which is probably as mummified as the dog.