Friday, August 1, 2008

0.0 on the Richter Scale

Iwanski and I are going on vacation very soon. Whoo-hoo!

We are heading over to the Ozark Mountains and plan on spending some time in Arkansas and Missouri. Yes, I said Arkansas and Missouri. I’m sure it will be very, very exciting!

Honestly, I am very excited. Iwanski has done a ton of research for this trip, and I know we’ll have a great time touring the countryside and enjoying its beautiful natural features. One night, we’re even staying in a hotel at the top of a mountain in Arkansas. Can you imagine what the view from our balcony will be like? I can’t wait!

I’m really lucky that Iwanski likes planning our vacations. If it were me, we’d probably end up in a bed-bug motel in a dry county in Arkansas, overlooking a dirty swimming pool. Thank God for Iwanski!

But he wasn’t always so good about planning out the details of our trip. A couple of years ago, when we traveled to Gatlinburg, Tennessee, I saw a big sign for “Earthquake: The Ride” and got really excited. After all, I’d never been in an earthquake, and I really wanted to see what it felt like, without risking life or limb. And Iwanski had not read anything about this particular attraction, so we thought we’d check it out.

Well, I still never found out what being in an earthquake was really like. Instead, I found out what it was like to flush $17 down the toilet.

Basically what it was, was one “train car” which resembled a metal cage, in a room which was supposedly a subway tunnel. When the ride started, the car shook gently. Then suddenly, the car jerked forward and backward, and the fake-ass train operator voice said, “My God, there’s an earthquake!” Then the voice screamed, “Oh my God, there’s a fire in the tunnel!”—and five feet in front of us, we saw some orange tissue paper being blown by a fan. Wow, what a fire! Then the voice said, “Everyone, please remain calm. We’re getting it under control.” Well, let me tell you, it was hard to remain calm. Iwanski and I were laughing too hard.

Then they shot water at us to put out the “fire,” and then the voice started screaming, “Oh my God, there’s rats coming onto the train!” And they blew air on our ankles to simulate the rats running around.

Then the voice yelled, “Oh my God, he’s escaped!” and a big stuffed gorilla appeared a few feet in front of us.

And then, just like that, the ride was over. It was the worst waste of money ever.

But it was definitely memorable.

I know that Iwanski did a lot of planning for this trip, but I hope he left some room for more “Earthquake: The Rides.”

Sometimes in life, it’s the unplanned events that make the best and funniest memories.


Mathman6293 said...

Well now I can simulate an earthquake for the kids before schools starts.

Diane said...

Chick, I laughed so hard reading your post! :) Tears even came to my eyes! I never heard that story before! I bet you begged John to stop at Mystery Spot in WI Dells too.

MaryRuth said...

I was on Earthquake:The Ride for real on Tuesday. I was in my car, waiting for the light to turn and my car just started rocking and rolling. Yikes!
Have fun on your trip!

Anonymous said...

ya know, MHP, even PLANNED things can be awfully memorable. like a wedding. need say more?

Speck said...

If that hotel at the top of the mountain is the Crescent in Eureka Springs, yes, the view from the top floor balcony is fabulous. If Eureka isn't on your itinerary, oy vey, you'll be missing one of the neatest places in Arkansas.

Barb said...

I hope you have a GREAT time. I can't wait to see the pictures ~ you will post them right?
Love the Earthquake ride! Sometimes those cheesy things are worth the $$ just for the memories!

Sling said...

The Ozarks are beautiful!..They have their own Bigfoot you know.Maybe you'll get to see him.

Citymouse said...

Planning is a good thing! My husband and I can't just "do stuff". It makes for a bad time.
oh--new url
Have a great time!

Buck said...

Oh my God. I forgot about the Bigfoot in Arkansas. DON'T GO IN THE FOREST!!Stay in your hotel!

Miss Healthypants said...

Mathman--yep, you can do that! :)

Diane-chickie--I thought I had told you that before--wow! *smiles* And yep, John & I have visited the "Wonder Spot" in the Dells several years ago. *grin*

Mary Ruth--that's scary!

Anony--tee hee! You're right about that! :)

Speck--it's not in Eureka Springs, but we may stop in that town--I've heard it's nice! :)

Barb--thanks--I'll definitely post pic's when we return! :)

Sling/Buck--I'm not scared of no Bigfoot! *smiles*

Mouse--we definitely do a lot of planning--but we leave room for the funny stuff like this! :)

laboxergirl said...

Living in California, there are no "Earthquake" rides... we just get the real ones!. In fact, we just had one about 3 weeks ago that sent us all on a ride; my first "major" one since moving out here in 1998. It felt like it lasted 5 minutes; it was actually just over 1 is quite the ride when it happens without warning!