Sometimes I don’t understand my husband. Here is a guy who once scored “genius” on an IQ test, beat his entire family at Trivial Pursuit when he was nine years old, and can figure out a complex conversion of one type of computer file to another in mere minutes—
But for some reason, he still cannot figure out how to set the timer on our new microwave. And this is not rocket science, people—there are only a couple of buttons to push. But for some reason, this is a challenge to Iwanski. The same thing happened when we used to have to record t.v. shows on our VCR—I always had to program the VCR, because Iwanski was not comfortable with that whole process. Thank God that we now have Tivo—the easiest and best TV tool ever. But don’t even get me started on how wonderful Tivo is, because I won’t shut up about it. Seriously.
Anyway, in addition to the VCR and the microwave timer, Iwanski also has a hands-off relationship with our clock radio. I swear, I don’t know what he’d do if I didn’t program the alarm to go off each morning. He’d probably never wake up.
Seriously, I know that Iwanski could figure these appliances out very easily if he really wanted to—but somehow he has a mental block against it. I just don’t get it.
I have a secret, though—I kinda like the fact that he asks me to do these things for him. It makes me feel smart. And I like to feel smart, so I don’t complain about it.
But I can still complain about the balled-up socks that appear on the living room floor every night, and the shaving stubble that always seems to end up all over my makeup sponge. Tell me, how can it be that he prepares for shaving by spreading a big beach towel across the entire bathroom counter, and still, shaving stubble ends up all over the countertop? He says that the stubble must just “jump around” on its own, but I highly doubt it—unless it’s magic stubble.
Magic stubble. What would be the point in that?
I guess I just have to face the fact that I live with a hairy man who doesn’t know how to set the alarm.
But at least he makes me laugh.