Looking Forward to September

Two weeks ago, I went clothes shopping at Target.

The next day, I began day one of a half-hour a day exercise program.

Coincidence? Not in the least! There’s just nothing like clothes shopping to make you realize how much weight you’ve gained.

Truth be told, Miss Healthypants has been steadily becoming less healthypants over the past several months. Oh, I still eat an outrageous amount of salad every day, and my high fiber nuts and twigs cereal in the morning…but all of the sudden I found myself polishing off a huge cylinder of caramel corn in the span of three days with hardly a second thought, and a McChicken sandwich (with a side salad and a chaser of Oreo cookies), had become one of my favorite cheap dinners.

Then, about a month ago when I injured my arm (that blasted tendonitis!), my morning exercise sessions quickly turned into “let me get another ½ hour of sleep” sessions.

So the lack of exercise and the inhaling of sugar and grease both added up to me standing in the Target dressing room, trying to squeeze into a pair of pants that only a year ago, would have been really big on me.

So for the past two weeks, I’ve been doing a walking/running program for 30 minutes a day. I just take half my lunch hour at work, change into workout clothes, and get outside and run! Well, to be fair, it’s more like jogging a couple of blocks, getting completely out of breath, and walking several more blocks—then lather, rinse, and repeat. But still, I know I’m getting a good workout. Then when I get back to work, I walk up the six flights to my floor and stagger over to my cubicle, sweating profusely. It’s fun!

But it’s really not that bad, especially because when I get home from work, I don’t have to even think about exercising. I’m done for the day! All I have to think about is what healthy meal I can eat, so as not to render my daily workouts useless.

Tonight’s meal was a turkey sandwich from Arby’s (hold the bacon), and of course, a large salad.

But while I was in line at Arby’s, I couldn’t help but notice the big sign, advertising “Wednesday Freebies.” Apparently Arby’s is offering a free item every Wednesday in the summer, if you buy something cheaper (i.e. you get a free sandwich, if you buy a small soda).

Anyway, I started checking out the posted list of which items were free on all the Wednesdays coming up, and I noticed that on September 23rd, if you buy a small soda, you get a free Roastburger—which I have been dying to try. It’s basically Arby’s version of a hamburger—a “burger” made with roast beef instead of a hamburger pattie—and oh my GOSH, it looks so good on the sign!

Now you might be saying, “Well, Miss Cheapskatepants, why don’t you just buy a Roastburger?”

“Well,” says I, “because if I buy it and it sucks, then I will feel like I was ripped off.”

It’s bad enough to feel unhealthy; I don’t want to feel cheated, too.

So anyway, as I stood there drooling at the sign, I grabbed my cell phone and called Iwanski to tell him all about the Arby’s Freebies.

“So on September 23rd,” I told him, “I’m going to get a free Roastburger.”

He laughed. “Are you serious? You’re already planning what you are going to eat on a Wednesday in September? And you called me to tell me this?”

“Yep!” I said. “I want that Roastburger.”

Hell, I can’t be Miss Healthypants ALL the time.