Not So Perfect

Here’s one thing about the idea of possibly having many lives…

It sure helps me relax!

I mean, when I think about it—if we have many, many lives to become the best we can be, then I don’t have to try to be perfect all the time!

Yes, perfectionism runs in my family. My Dad is a bit of a perfectionist—I think he’d really like to be perfect and right all the time (don’t we all?). I remember this little statue he had when I was a kid that said, “I once thought I was wrong…but I was mistaken.” And I don’t know why I know this (I must have done laundry at some point when I was a kid), but I remember his sock drawer being extremely organized, with all the socks perfectly folded and lined up in a row. I always thought that was funny.

Now I find myself being like him and trying to be perfect, too—although not so much with the sock drawer (he would probably cry if he saw my sock drawer nowadays)—but in the way of always trying to do everything exactly right. I suspect that some of my siblings share the same drive toward perfectionism. I absolutely hate it when I’m wrong about something. (Although this rarely happens—ask my hubby! On second thought, maybe don’t ask him...he’s proven me wrong more times than I’d care to remember.)

But most of all, I try to be calm, loving, and patient all the time. And I fail at this sometimes—especially the whole “patient” thing. Well, and the “calm” thing, too. Damn, and the “loving” thing, as well. I am just not perfect, as much as I’d like to be.

Now, if I have many more lives to live, I can continue to try to do my best, but when I fail, I can forgive myself and realize that I have perhaps hundreds of more lifetimes to become that perfect calm, loving, patient person.

For a perfectionist like me, that would really be a relief.

Sick Day and Deja Vu

I am sick today. I have sinus and tummy issues. Both extremely fun issues, let me tell you.

So I called in sick to work. The worst part of the day was that my head feels like Paul Bunyan stepped on it. The best part of the day was that I got to sleep a lot (which I love), and I got to read a very interesting book. The book is called “Many Lives, Many Masters” by Dr. Brian L. Weiss. Essentially, this book is about reincarnation.

I’ve always been interested in the concept of reincarnation, but I’ve also always been skeptical about it. If there is a heaven (and I believe there is), why in the world would we want to return to this earth, which for all its good points, also has so much negativity in it?

Then I read this book. It was fascinating. The book is written by a medical doctor and psychiatrist who had never had any experience nor belief in reincarnation. However, one day, in the midst of using hypnosis to treat one of his patients for extreme anxiety, his patient began recalling a life before her current life, in stunning detail. The doctor was interested but still skeptical. He couldn’t believe she could have made up all of those details, but he still had doubts. Then, in subsequent sessions of hypnosis, the woman remembered more and more of her previous lives, both happy times and sorrows and pain. And through all of her sessions, without consciously receiving “traditional” therapy, all of her symptoms began to improve. Just through recalling previous existences and events, she was healed.

OK, this doctor could be making it all up. By why would a well-respected medical doctor and psychiatrist risk his entire reputation and profession to tell this story?

You might think I’m crazy for believing this, but something in my gut tells me it’s true. And why would we want to return from heaven to this earth? To learn lessons. To grow spiritually. And we often need to suffer, to feel pain, in order to grow.

I’ll tell you one thing. If and when I come back, I want to come back to a life exactly like this one.