A Memo from Miss Sicklypants

Dear friends,

Yes, I am once again Miss Sicklypants. My sinuses are swollen to the size of small canteloupes. I’ll tell you, it ain’t pretty.

Anyway, while I spent the day sleeping and trying to breathe (always a fun time!), I had some time to ponder the events of the past weekend.

Last weekend, Iwanski and I had the opportunity to visit the city of Green Bay, Wisconsin, to see my good friend Diane. First on the Friday evening agenda was the grand tour of Chateau Diane. Chateau Diane was in a beautiful residential area with many trees and many nosy neighbors. (As Iwanski and I arrived a bit early—before the arrival of Lady Diane—we were witness to the suspicious stares through a couple of the neighbors’ windows.)

The inside of Chateau Diane was beautiful and also very clean. Oh, to be in a new house! I looked at her pristine carpet and thought about our living room carpet, which is always dotted with a few cat-vomit stains (those damn cats!), and I felt slightly jealous of Diane.) I know, I’ll just have to convince Diane to get a cat. That’ll even the score. (Muh-ha-ha-ha…)

Iwanski, Diane, and I then trodded off for a tour of neighborhood bars. First came “The Bar,” which is apparently the “place to be” in Green Bay. It was loud and smoky with bad music (No, “Cottoneye Joe” by Rednex is not good music!)—the highlight of “The Bar” was when Diane approached a complete stranger and asked him if he had been my first boyfriend (hey, he looked like him!). Of course he wasn’t. Diane loves to embarrass me like that. And then Diane embarrassed both Iwanski and me by beating us both at pool. That was fun.

The next couple of bars were no less smoky, but definitely smaller and more like down-home neighborhood bars. Iwanski and I liked that. We even saw a very drunk guy yelling at a woman in a Chicago Bears t-shirt about how stupid she was for thinking that Obama was born in this country. Yeah, buddy—she's the stupid one.

The next day, we woke up early to a lovely breakfast cooked by chef Diane, and then headed over to her childhood home. Shortly after arriving there, we had a fascinating impromptu course in bee-keeping taught by her very gracious Dad, Hank. Hank owns about 40 bee-hives and after more than 30 years in the business, knows about everything there is to know about bees. We stood next to the hives and watched the bees buzz around as Hank told us tales of the queen bee, worker bees, drone bees, and nurse bees. Honestly, it was quite interesting. Iwanski and I kept asking more and more questions, and Hank was kind enough to answer all of them. Later, we also were entertained by the thick Wisconsin accent of Diane’s mother, who, when giving directions, talked about turning at the “stop and go-ah” lights. They were very nice people who—it turns out—are also voting for Obama. I love to see that!

The rest of the day, Diane acted as our gracious tour guide as we visited many Green Bay sights, including the Wildlife Sanctuary, an oil & vinegar store and a chocolate store (yay!), and of course, Lambeau Field. Oh, how exciting it was to see Lambeau Field. It was so exciting that I almost became a Packer fan again. (Yeah, right! Go Bears!)

Wow, now that I think about it…with all that excitement, I didn’t really get a chance to rest and get my 12 hours of sleep that I normally get on both Friday and Saturday nights. No wonder why I’m sick!

Well, today I slept about 14 hours. I think I made up for it. I should start feeling better soon.

Yours in health (cough, sneeze!),

Miss Sicklypants