Miss Healthypants

Treats and Splurges

2011-11-26T18:26:00.001-06:00

Wow, I haven’t written on this blog in quite a while. Oh well, there’s no time like the present!

I just wanted to make an observation about Thanksgiving dinner – and eating, in general.

Before my husband’s heart surgery last year, both he and I used to eat pretty much whatever unhealthy food we wanted (except that I would make myself eat veggies every day, at least). Fried chicken with the skin on it? Sure, why not. A big, juicy, bacon cheeseburger? Hell, yes!

But then, of course, we had the BIG WAKE-UP CALL last December.

And we both got healthy. A quadruple bypass can be quite convincing.

Now, we eat very healthy – and particularly heart-healthy – diets.

Except for on splurge days. I LOVE splurge days!

You see, every two weeks, we have a full-on splurge day where we eat anything we want – cheeseburgers, barbecue ribs, chicken wings – you name it, we’ll eat it! And of course, we’ll have a splurgey dessert, too – candy bars and ice cream have definitely been consumed on splurge days.

As Iwanski’s doctor said, “It’s not what you do on occasion that matters, it’s what you do on a daily basis.”

So we invented the concept of splurge days. The rules of the splurge are as follows: 1) Splurge days can only happen every two weeks OR on holidays and birthdays, and 2) Whatever you eat, you are not allowed to feel guilty afterwards. Because splurge days actually keep us eating healthy for the rest of the time. Whenever we’re craving something unhealthy, we just think…I can eat that in ___ days…and before you know it, it’s that magical time again! And we’re eating pizza and chocolate chip cookies and enjoying the hell out of ‘em.

But of course, because splurge days are only every two weeks and on holidays, we have to carefully evaluate what we’d like to eat on the next splurge day. So during the pre-splurge two weeks, we have a lot of discussions about what would be the next good thing to eat. Pizza has been a favorite splurge of ours, as have cheeseburgers, and bacon & eggs.

So this whole “splurge” concept has really changed the way I view food, in the sense that I would never want to WASTE a splurge day on something I don’t really love to eat. And for that matter, why should I ever eat something that I don’t really care for?

And yet, I realized that during my lifetime, I have certainly done that.

Back then, before the BIG WAKE-UP CALL, my thinking would go something like this…

A coworker makes a veggie dip that I find rather repulsive? Well, I would still finish the portion that I took. I don’t want to hurt her feelings – plus I should clean my plate – after all, there are starving people in Africa right? (Childhood thinking sometimes takes a while to get rid of.) Or I am at a restaurant and just paid $15 for an asparagus salad that I’m really not enjoying? Well, I still better eat it – gotta get my money’s worth!

And then there is the traditional Thanksgiving food that everyone else seems to love – turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes. Every year in the past, I would take a small portion of those items and force-feed them to myself. After all, that’s what you eat on Thanksgiving – it didn’t matter if you really like it or not.

But you know what? I really don’t like turkey, or stuffing, or mashed potatoes. (Gag!)

I’d rather eat ham, and veggies, and of course, pumpkin pie!

So this year, during our Thanksgiving “splurge meal” – and without even really thinking about it – I skipped right past the turkey, stuffing, and mashed potatoes and went right for the honey-baked ham. (Yum!) And continued to fill my plate with things I loved – like my sister’s cheesy hashbrowns, cranberries from a can (much better than the real thing, you know!), and pumpkin pie – not to mention my new favorite – a heavenly, decadent pumpkin pudding pecan concoction that another one of my sisters graced us with this year.

And OH MY GOSH, that was the best splurge ever!! I didn’t miss the turkey, stuffing, or mashed potatoes one bit. And I was full – but very PLEASANTLY full. I felt like I had just treated myself to my favorite Thanksgiving dinner ever.

Later, as I reflected upon the meal and the day and our lives, in general, I thought, “Shouldn’t that be the way we always treat ourselves? – with kindness?”

To me, eating healthy is being kind to myself – but so is having treats on occasion. And if I’m going to treat myself, then I’m really going to treat myself.

And the same is true of life. I will continue to work hard at my job, exercise, and do some chores around the house…but when I take time off from all of that, I will enjoy the hell out of my time off – no guilt or worrying allowed.

After all, we only have one life to live – and while we should try to preserve it as much as possible, we also should really try to ENJOY it.

Real Housedogs of Suburbia

2011-08-22T23:15:00.001-05:00

A long walk to North Avenue Beach tonight, amongst the shimmering lights of Chitown, reminded me once again how happy I am to be home in my city.

Recently, Iwanski and I spent some time in the Southwest suburbs. We were full-fledged suburbanites. We drove everywhere and spent lots of time hanging out in the backyard, watching two big puppies duke it out on a daily basis in their playful puppy way that sometimes seemed a bit violent to me. Just for the record, we were housesitting and dogsitting at my sister-in-law’s house whilst she and her family whiled away the hours in southern Califor-ni-ay.

And it wasn’t so bad. For one thing, there was a pool in the yard. And it was like 80 degrees and sunny pretty much every day. And there were forest preserves close at hand – well, at least close at car. We enjoyed many a hike in the forest and prairie, and even got lucky enough to see a coyote, three garter snakes, and a pair of fluttering bluebirds.

But Lordy, oh Lordy did I miss my city. And I missed my cats. Yes, I missed the little pukesters – no, I did not miss their twice-weekly bouts of vomiting, but I did miss them and their quiet, unassuming ways.

For I realized once again just how different cats are than dogs – and just how much easier it is to take care of cats than dogs.

While we were on suburban dogwatch, it became a daily ritual to be awoken at 7 AM by pacing, collarbell ringing wide-awake big-ass puppies. Here’s a fun fact for your doggy facts repertoire: an English Setter and a Labradoodle are definitely NOT your garden-variety little yippy dogs. They are freakin’ huge.

Anyway, once the 7 AM pacing and collarbell ringing took place – one time, accompanied by a huge-ass Labradoodle jumping up on the bed next to the snoozing Iwanski – either I or Iwanski would drag our sleepy butts down the stairs to let the puppies out in the yard for their morning constitutional. If I were lucky enough to be on morning puppy pee pee duty that day, then my stumble down the stairs also consisted of having a Labradoodle’s nose nuzzled against my butt, trying to sniff me in a most unpleasant way, while I shoo’ed her away. Nothing like having a puppy’s nose shoved up your ass first thing in the morning! I cringe just thinking about it.

And then of course there was the morning that I was having quite a lovely sleep-in, with Iwanski on morning puppy patrol, when I heard Iwanski yelling “No, Ginger! No!” downstairs…and came down the stairs to find out that Ginger (the big ole’ Labradoodle puppy once again – poor pup) had chewed through a bottle of Pepcid that she had stolen off the kitchen counter. Luckily, she had not actually eaten any of the pills – but she had definitely chewed through the bottle.

And maybe it’s just me, but puppies sure do play rough. I don’t know if I could ever really get used to the biting, clawing, pinning down, and mounting behaviors that happen during puppy play.

I can’t imagine our cats ever sniffing our butts, or eating a medicine bottle, or violently playing—well, okay, the cats are a little violent when they play, but they are much smaller and definitely quieter.

Clearly, dogs are more of a challenge to deal with than cats.

But the dogs weren’t the only challenge for my “urban elitist” self. Although Iwanski and I tried to keep as active as possible during our suburban housewatch, we pretty much had to drive every where that we went. Relaxing? You betcha. Healthy? Not so much.

So when we took the el train back to downtown after our suburban stint, and we arrived home to find our tiny quiet housecats giving us a little “meow” and weaving a little tail-rub around our legs, I just took a deep breath and felt so very grateful to be home.

And when we walked 8 miles in the city the next day, and 7 miles the day after that, and we spent a lovely Friday night on a 50th floor Marina City balcony with our good friend Jonathan and his fun Texan cousin, I felt even more grateful.

And tonight, as we gazed at the twinkling lights of the city from the shores of shimmering Lake Michigan, I don’t think I’ve ever felt more grateful to live here.

I am home. And I love my city.

Out of Place

2011-04-20T21:38:00.000-05:00

At my job, I am very organized and efficient. If a task needs to get done quickly and accurately, I am often called upon to complete said task…and if asked, I am usually able to find needed documents or files at a moment’s notice.

Not so much at home.

Home is where I cut loose, where I walk in and casually throw my coat on the couch and my purse on the living room floor…and then throw my work clothes in a crumpled heap on the bedroom floor whilst I change into my comfy play clothes (which were also previously lying in a crumpled heap on the bedroom floor).

I just don’t really care too much about being neat and organized at home.

Now mind you, I’ve tried to change these bad habits. I’ve bought and read several books on organization and have followed some of the advice—but it always comes back to one simple principle: I just don’t care enough about staying neat and organized at home. At home I just want to RELAX. And somehow hanging up my coat and putting my clothes in their proper places just doesn’t seem like relaxation to me.

And in particular, one of my really bad habits is that I love to put stuff on the floor. Books, magazines, purses, water bottles…you name it, I’ll put it on the floor. I think that somehow my brain looks at the floor and thinks “There’s a big, open, clear space to put my stuff!” It’s that simple. And it really drives Iwanski crazy.

Anyway, one of the problems with being so—I like to call it “carefree”— at home (besides driving my husband nuts) is that when I have something that I really need to do—like send an e-mail to someone or sew a button on my shirt or put chicken in the refrigerator to defrost—I really need to set up a strong reminder for myself to remember to do that task…because otherwise I will totally forget.

Often, I remember these “things to do” when I happen to be working late at my office. So I’ll call home and leave myself a message on our answering machine. Or even better—if Iwanski is home, I’ll ask him to “put something out of place” to remind me to do that task. For example, if he puts our model Blues Brothers car on top of our stove, that helps me to remember that there is something that I need to do. I know, it seems pretty weird—but to me, it’s easier and quicker (not to mention more fun) than writing a note (as if writing a note is that challenging!—whatever)…it works for me.

In the past, Iwanski has put many things out of place for me—like the time that I came home and found his guitar tuner sitting on the back of the toilet. (“What is the guitar tuner doing in the bathroom? Oh yeah…I have to e-mail my Mom.”)

It’s a pretty good system, don’t you think?

So today, while working late, I called Iwanski and asked him to “put something out of place” to remind myself to send a postcard to my Grandma (I send my 95-year-old Grandma a Chicago postcard about once a week or so). Then I promptly forgot about it.

Later tonight, while exercising, I thought about it again and asked Iwanski, “Hey, what did you put out of place for me?”

“Oh, I put that bird identification book on the floor, on your yoga mat,” he replied.

“Oh,” I said. “I didn’t even realize it. It didn’t seem out of place to me.”

“Of course it didn’t!” He laughed. “I forgot, you put everything on the floor!”

We both laughed, and then he continued, “I think that for you, I’d have to put something REALLY big on the floor. I think you’d have to walk in the house and see an Alpaca standing there.”

I laughed harder.

He continued “…And there would need to be a sign around the Alpaca’s neck that says ‘I am out of place.’”

Have I mentioned lately how much I love that man? He is the funniest person I know, and I’m so grateful to have him in my life.

Dukin' It Out

2011-04-13T20:25:00.002-05:00

I know, I know, I haven’t blogged in so very long…and you know what? The longer I’ve been away from it, the harder it is to start up again. It’s like I feel like I have to write something really profound or something. But no. I am about to write about some absolutely meaningless crap. I hope you enjoy it!

Lately, just for silliness’s sake, Iwanski and I have been watching episodes of the Dukes of Hazzard. I’m telling you, if you grew up in the early 80’s, there is nothing like watching the Dukes of Hazzard to make you feel like a kid again. Every time we turn it on, I am immediately transported to a Friday night back in 1982, watching Rosco P. Coltrane and Boss Hogg battling it out with the Duke boys. Too freakin’ funny. It was a fun show to grow up with.

I may have written about this before, but when I was a kid, my two good neighborhood friends and I would play the Dukes of Hazzard as we raced around on our bikes. Since there were only three of us – one boy and two girls – we had a very limited cast of characters. The boy, Jeff Flanders, was blonde-haired, so of course he had to be Bo Duke. And then there were us two girls, my best friend Cari and I…and both of us wanted to be Daisy Duke. What to do, what to do? Well, a very simple solution came from our very simple eight-year-old minds – we would be…Daisy One and Daisy Two! I still laugh when I think about that.

Anyway, I’ve realized that even as an adult, the Dukes of Hazzard is still entertaining…especially since Iwanski and I spend half the episodes pausing our Tivo and making fun of the show. We laugh at the fact that in every single freakin’ episode, the Duke boys are always somehow held at gunpoint, and always by just some random evil strangers who just happen to be traveling through good ole’ Hazzard County. And at least once in every episode, Bo and Luke have to dodge barrels or rocks or some kind of huge boulders rolling down a hill right at their car. Oh, and the police just generally look the other way at the fact that the Duke boys act as vigilante crime-solvers and always end up catching the bad guys. In fact, Boss Hogg and his police brigade (Rosco P. Coltrane and Enos—later replaced by Cletus) generally welcome the Duke Boys’ assistance in solving crimes. It’s just assumed that the Duke Boys will catch the bad guys in whatever way they can; no questions asked.

And by the way, the guy who played Boss Hogg (Sorrell Booke) was freakin’ brilliantly funny. I don’t know why I never realized that when I was a kid—I was just too busy hating that character. Now, I think he’s an absolutely amazing actor—completely committed to the part.

I guess the thing that I like best about the show is that even though the good guys always end up in sticky or dangerous situations, through all of it, there’s always this sense of community with the main characters. You know that no matter what, when it really comes down to it, any one of them would do anything to keep the others safe. Yup, the Dukes of Hazzard really shows the love.

And now I’ve written an entire blog post about the Dukes of Hazzard.

Aren’t you just so glad that I’m back to blogging again?

Inspiration (or Lack Thereof)

2011-03-14T19:04:00.004-05:00

I am officially Miss Healthypants.

I’m down 15 pounds, and after a recent Treadmill Stress Test and blood test, I can confirm that I am indeed healthy.

Healthy heart? Check. Good cholesterol levels? Check. Good calcium levels, iron levels, and all other associated “levels”? Check.

And Iwanski? Oh yeah, he’s healthy, too. He’s down almost 40 pounds, and doing just fantastic. We’re just a couple of healthypantses.

Now the question is…what’s next for me?

I feel like lately, I’ve been asking myself the same question over and over and over again:

What do I want to be when I grow up?

I like my job as Customer Service Manager…but is this what I want to be forever?

I like to write…but I’ve barely written two non-work-related sentences lately.

I like to be “counselor” to my close friends when they are having difficulties in life…especially when I feel like I can really help them. So do I want to somehow pursue a psychology-related career?

And then there’s the old acting bug. Some days, I do feel like I’d like to try acting again. I know, I know, the acting field is fraught with disappointment and rejection—it’s just the nature of the beast—but I just feel like somehow, I need to express myself.

But what do I really even want to say? What is there about me that even wants to be expressed?

And then I think, what if somehow I could be a motivational speaker or something cool like that? Wouldn’t that be fun?

But how exactly does one become a motivational speaker? And what would I talk about?

And how can I motivate others when it seems that sometimes I have a hard time motivating myself?

Oh sure, I can motivate myself to exercise and lose weight. But the real motivation for that came from Iwanski’s experience. I want to have a strong and healthy heart. Period.

But what motivates me? What inspires me? Sometimes I feel lacking in inspiration.

Perhaps it’s this endless wintery-type weather that’s driving me a little nuts. Surely I can’t be the only one feeling this way. As a matter of fact, I know I’m not. I’ve seen countless postings of “I’m sick of winter” peppered throughout my Facebook friends’ pages.

But it’s more than that. I want to feel inspired. I want to find the “thing”—the catch that sparks my imagination and creativity. I want to be creative—but even more so, I want to FEEL creative.

But how? Where do I start?

And then I think that it’s merely my ego talking. My ego is never satisfied with how things are—it always wants more, more, more!

And then I am reminded of a Buddhist saying that I once read, “Strive to be ordinary.”

Strive to be ordinary. What does that mean? Does that mean that none of us should hope to be more than what we are today? Or does it just mean that we should not become attached to the idea of ourselves “standing out” somehow; that we should be content with being?—just being?

All I know is, this spiritual hunger won’t go away. I crave creativity, I crave inspiration…and somehow I need to find exactly what it is that inspires me.

Yes, I know that I certainly feel inspired and moved by basic human emotions—like love, and empathy, and pure joy…and I love animals, in all their lack of ego…and I feel inspired by the words and the images that others share on a daily basis.

But how can I translate that feeling, that appreciation for all of these things, into an expression of my own creativity?

Or am I wrong for wanting that? Should I just be satisfied with who I am, with living an ordinary life?

I will meditate on this…and I will meditate on all that I have to be grateful for…because somewhere, in that list of a million and one things that I am so very grateful for, has to be my inspiration. I will find it and do what I need to do.

Whether I write a poem or sing a song or paint a picture…I will express what’s inside of me.

And perhaps...I've already started.

Learn, Baby, Learn...

2011-02-19T15:52:00.024-06:00

Sometimes in life, I get this feeling like I get it--I mean, I really get it--I'm happy and solid and have learned all I really need to learn in life. I know what I'm doing, and I'm in control.

And then a two-by-four smacks me over the head and forces me to learn much more than I ever thought I needed to know.

That two-by-four was my husband's sudden unexpected heart surgery on Christmas Eve. It was almost two months ago now, and sometimes it seems unreal that it ever even happened. I mean, my 36-year-old husband, who takes three or four hour walks with me every weekend day--him? He had to have open heart surgery? Unbelievable!

And yet it happened, and certainly every day I'm ever so grateful that he's doing so well. During this time, I've definitely learned the importance of family and good friends...but I feel like I've learned so much more...some little things and some bigger things. But most of all, I've realized that I probably won't ever have it all figured out--and I suppose most of us won't. I believe that a big part of our purpose as human beings is to learn, and unfortunately, sometimes the learning comes from a really crappy situation.

So without further adieu, here are some things I've learned (some of them a little silly, but I've learned them all the same!) over the past two months:

1. The American media/culture is very concerned about making sure we lose weight and look skinny, but they couldn't give a crap about how healthy are bodies are. I mean, for evidence, look at all the diet pills that are out there--and how many of them turn out to be bad for your heart--or at the very least, give you very explosive diarrhea. But that doesn't matter to those who are manufacturing those pills. It's only important that we be skinny--even if you're skinny and your hair is falling out. That's okay--just as long as you can fit into your size 2 jeans.

2. The number of fat grams in food doesn't matter as much as the kind of fat in the food. I used to just look at how much total fat a food had...but saturated fat is absolutely the worst kind of fat. Some kinds of fats are actually good for you. Saturated fat is absolutely not. And I never used to look at the cholesterol content in foods, either. Now I've learned that saturated fat and cholesterol directly contribute to heart disease--both in men and in women. Oh yeah, and just in case you're wondering, heart disease is the number one killer among WOMEN. Yeah, I had never even considered that; I always thought that it was more of a man's disease. I was certainly more concerned about breast cancer or something like that. Heart disease? But I ate healthy! (Or so I thought.)

3. I've learned how to spell cholesterol. (I don't know why, I've always struggled with the spelling of that word.)

4. Most of the food that is sold in restaurants--both fast food and sit-down restaurants--is really bad for you. I know, this is probably a duh! thing for many of you...but for me, I really sincerely thought that if I was eating a simple Chicken Caesar salad for many of my non-homecooked meals, then I was eating really healthy.

But surprise! Most Chicken Caesar salads are just loaded with fat and cholesterol. And you know why? Well, of course chicken has some fat and cholesterol...but the dressing is usually really really full of that nasty stuff...and the cheese! My God, the cheese! Cheese is the absolute worst culprit when it comes to saturated fat and cholesterol content. And I grew up in Wisconsin--I grew up on cheese! When I was younger, I never gave it a second thought. But Lord above, now I avoid cheese as much as possible. And don't get me wrong--I love the stuff. But I love the idea of having a long life even more.

5. It's very, very important to give yourself time to process and grieve over a scary or sad event in your life--even if everything turned out okay and you think you're fine and you think you can handle everything with no problem at all.

I was learning to cook, I was helping take care of Iwanski, I was doing a lot of the housework, and I was working full-time. No problem, I could handle this! In fact, I even mentioned to a good friend of mine that I was really proud of myself for how I was handling this whole thing. (Note to self: Pride cometh before the fall.)

And then I started getting chest pains. And then back pains. And then both.

And I was scared. So I went to see two different doctors, and the diagnosis came back the same from both of them: It wasn't my heart, it was just stress. I had an EKG. It was normal. I had my cholesterol checked. Perfectly normal.

Just stress?! But I was getting chest pains like 4 or 5 times a day, and they certainly didn't feel like just stress! I was feeling panicky, and silently thanking my previous doctor for giving me 10 extra Xanax pills last time I saw her.

And then one day, as I sat in a nearby train station, eating my lunch, I suddenly felt like I just couldn't take it any more. I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders, and I just broke down and cried. Right there in front of men in business suits and the tourists with their children, who were scarfing down their Panda Express and Taco Bell...I just started sobbing.

And the worst part was, I kept thinking, "Why can't I handle this? What's wrong with me? I'm stronger than this. I'm usually a positive person. Why am I feeling so damn negative?"

So I did what many girls would do in my situation. I called up my best girlfriend--and even though I was pretty sure she'd be at work, she actually answered. And for the next half hour, as I cried and cried and just let everything out--all my fears, all my stress, all my sadness, she just listened. I will be forever grateful to her for that.

And later that night, I cried even more still, this time to my beloved Iwanski. And he sat and listened and then cried a little himself.

We both needed to grieve a little. This was quite a traumatic event in our lives, and we had to grieve the fact that we weren't going to be going to the Chinese buffet every weekend any more, or drinking beer as often...and we now have to be more vigilent about our health (especially him)...it was a big lifestyle change for both of us, and it certainly didn't come without some stress. But at least we're in it together, and changes are much easier to handle when you're going through them with the one you love.

That night, as Iwanski and I grieved together, we grew even closer, and he assured me that I didn't have to do everything on my own. He was getting better every day, and I needed to stop trying to do it all and let him help me, too.

And the next day, I had no more chest pain. And none the next day. Or the day after that.

As my best girlfriend said, "You just needed a release." Indeed, I did.

6. When you're tired, it's important to rest. Even if--and I would say ESPECIALLY if--you feel like you shouldn't be tired.

One day a few weeks ago, after a workout on our exercise bike, a three-mile walk with Iwanski, a trip to the grocery store, and doing the laundry, I put a low-fat, homemade pizza in the oven, and then bent down to put some dishes in the dishwasher.

And suddenly, a wave of tiredness washed over me...and then came the chest pain.

"Push through it!" I thought to myself, as I continued to put spoons and knives and plates into the dishwasher.

But suddenly, the chest pain got worse, and I knew I couldn't push through it. I walked over to the living room and laid right down on the carpet and stretched out my arms and legs, taking some deep breaths.

At first, I admonished myself for not being able to keep cleaning. But then I finally gave up and gave myself a break, and just rested. By the time the pizza was done, I was feeling much better and had no more chest pain.

So I've learned: When you're tired, don't have a debate with yourself--just rest.

7. I've also learned that I enjoy some foods that I never thought I would--like baked kale chips (they're light and crispy and similar to potato chips--yummy!) and this awesome black bean soup that's incredibly easy to make. Quick, healthy, and yummy--whoo hoo!

But most of all, I've learned that I still have much more to learn. No, I don't have it all figured out, and I'm not perfect. And I know that some days I will struggle, but at least I now know that with each struggle, I will learn something new and valuable...and then happiness will follow again soon after.

Groundhog Dump

2011-02-01T17:38:00.010-06:00

OK, I have a secret.

As much as I complain about how I hate the cold and snowy winter here in Chi-town...

I love a good snow day!!!! This blizzard stuff is actually pretty cool if you don't have to go out in it, and if you don't know anyone else who has to go out in it.

My office closed early today and will most likely be closed tomorrow. Yay! Of course, we are all "encouraged" to work from home tomorrow, but sitting on the couch working in your PJ's sure beats showering, donning dress clothes, fixing your hair, putting on makeup, and trudging 5 blocks in the heavy snow to work. Who cares if I get a little stinky from not showering tomorrow? Iwanski will just have to deal with it.

I think I'll make a big pot of soup tonight and just embrace the gift of solitude that Mother Nature has given us today.

And I'm not gonna even think about how annoying it's gonna be to trudge through the snow in single-degree temperatures on Thursday morning.

Not even gonna think about it!

Whew!

2011-01-18T20:56:00.008-06:00

Whew! I feel like my life has been such a whirlwind lately! But all is well, and Iwanski is doing well, so I couldn't be happier.

I've been busy working, exercising like a mad woman (gotta keep my heart healthy, too!), and researching and cooking healthy, yummy recipes.

It's been busy, but honestly, I'm having fun with the whole healthy eating and exercising thing. I love our new exercise bike that Iwanski's family were so very kind to buy for us, and best of all, I've discovered that I really do like cooking!

I have to marvel at the magic of the universe sometimes. It really was a natural progression for me, to learn to cook and enjoy cooking.

It all started a couple of Christmases ago, when we did a "homemade gifts" Christmas with Iwanski's family. I decided to bake cookies for Iwanski's sister, and I discovered that I like baking. So over the next year or two, I started to bake more and more often--but I still didn't really like cooking. I think that most of it was just that I was afraid to try it and fail.

Then, my good friend Jonathan started to have me over for "Julia Child night" every Tuesday, during which he showed me many useful and relatively simple cooking techniques, like how to chop an onion, or how to peel & devein shrimp. I started to realize that cooking wasn't quite as crazy-difficult or as scary as I had previously thought. I began to develop "cooking confidence" and made a couple of tasty dishes that Iwanski and I really enjoyed.

Then, this whole thing with Iwanski's surgery happened. It was completely unexpected--something I couldn't have prepared for--but I do feel in a way that the Universe was at least preparing me for one part of Iwanski's recovery--how to cook healthy meals for him...and for me! I've got a good 30 pounds to lose, too.

But guess what? I've already lost 5 pounds! Whoo hoo! This healthy eating and exercising thing really does work, folks. The challenge is to make sure that we stick to it. But I'll tell you, there's nothing more motivating than open-heart surgery!

Now I'm eagerly doing things like sprouting my own bean sprouts, researching healthy seafood recipes, and looking up recipes for various types of hummus...I just found one for sweet potato hummus that sounds divine!

So I guess life handed us a bit of a lemon recently...and I'm making a giant jar of lemonade!

Oh, and for all of my wonderful blog buddies who have been busy posting and haven't seen a single comment from me, I want to assure you that I will be back soon to read blog posts and leave a comment or two. Believe me, I do miss reading your funny, interesting, and even sometimes silly blog posts. I've just been a wee bit busy as of late.

But as former California governor Ahhhhnold said in The Terminator... "I'll be back!"

I'm Back!

2011-01-08T17:19:00.017-06:00

Well, it's been two weeks since Iwanski had quadruple bypass surgery...and first and foremost, I want to say that he's doing well. He's recuperating very well and even though he thinks he should be running marathons by now, I tell him that a six-block walk only two short weeks after open-heart surgery is wonderful! I am very proud of him and his progress.

This whole thing took me--and all of our family and friends--by total surprise. We were all shocked when we learned that Iwanski had to have bypass surgery.

But here we are, two weeks later, and Iwanski is alive and well and recuperating at a normal rate. And I am so very grateful for that.

It was a scary time, and at first very overwhelming for me. Somehow, by the grace of God, I held it all together. Sure, I've cried a good many tears, but so many of them have also been tears of gratefulness to God for saving my beloved, and to our wonderful family and friends, who have been so kind and generous during this trying time.

That has really been the most surprising and wonderful thing about this time...how much many of our loved ones reached out with support and offers to help, and as I remarked to my best girlfriend Diane, how many reached out with their own little "nuggets of healing."

Like Iwanski's good friends...from Andy, who flew in all the way from Ocala, Florida with his wife and his one-month-old baby in tow, to visit Iwanski in the hospital three times and to give us love, support, and a generous Whole Foods gift card...to Dan, who visited Iwanski in the hospital twice--once with his lovely wife Karen and adorable red-headed little girl--and gave us a bagful of heart-healthy foods, as well as his own brand of hilarious humor...to Mike, who brought Iwanski a book of baseball trivia while he was in the hospital, and quizzed him on baseball facts, which he thoroughly enjoyed...

And like our friend Jonathan, who was so supportive and kind to me, before and after the surgery--sticking by me in those first trying days and even staying with me the first two nights that Iwanski was in the hospital--and who delivered three yummy heart-healthy meals to us just one day after Iwanski got home...

And like my lovely sister and brother-in-law, Sheri and Rick, who were so supportive and kept the whole family informed via Facebook and phone calls on Iwanski's progress...

And all my sisters and brothers and my lovely Mom and Dad, who called and left messages of support--both by phone and by Facebook...and my sister-in-law Lynn, who shipped a case of Fiji water to us (which she says is the purest, best water to drink)...

And then there's Iwanski's family...and in particular, my wonderful mother-in-law, who has lived through many a loved one's heart surgery in her life...my sister-in-law Anna, who is a cardiac nurse (how convenient was that?!--you have no idea!)...and my sister-in-law Donna, who works in medical records and has also been an amazing source of medical information to me...I'm telling you, these people are some of the most wonderful people you can ever meet. And they have been so generous!

Anna, for starters, has truly been a Godsend to Iwanski and me. She has helped us SO much with her support and medical advice. I don't think I could have gotten through this whole thing without her. Even now, when Iwanski experiences a little dizziness or other strange symptoms, I know that I can call her up, and she'll be able to calm me with her advice and wisdom. I am so grateful for her. Also, she not only got together some of her family members to buy Iwanski and me an exercise bike (I told you they're wonderful people!), but she also came over to help put the bike together AND brought us some healthy groceries to eat...how very nice of her! She's also sent me a bunch of heart-healthy recipes and taught me how to sprout some seeds (sprouts are apparently very good for you)...I'm telling you, she's just a very kind and generous person.

And then there's my lovely mother-in-law, Mary Kay, who flooded (and I mean flooded!) our house with groceries when Iwanski came home from the hospital. Anna had told me to send them a grocery list before Iwanski came home, but I had no idea that my mother-in-law would buy everything we needed in bulk! (She loves Costco; I don't know why I was so surprised!) Anyway, it was definitely a welcome surprise...and believe me, just knowing that I now have enough paper towels and chicken breasts to last me through the next Presidential election is very comforting to me. And she's also been a tremendous source of emotional comfort, as well. For starters, she has been through several surgeries with her late husband--including three open-heart surgeries...but believe it or not, her fiance just had open-heart surgery, too (valve replacement surgery), and he was released from the hospital on the same day Iwanski was! I mean, really, who better can understand what Iwanski and I are going through right now? It is so comforting to be able to call her up and say stuff like, "Iwanski gets tired a lot these days," and she says to me, "Yeah, that's normal...he'll be like that for a while." I'm so grateful for her.

And last but certainly not least is my sister-in-law Donna. During Iwanski's surgery, Donna helped me stay busy and distracted by letting me play countless games of solitaire on her little electronic hand-held game system (no idea what it's called...but I can tell you that I didn't win one game of solitaire that day--I wasn't exactly at the top of my game!). And since we had to change doctors and hospitals as of January 1st (yes, our insurance changed in the middle of all of this--isn't that wonderful?!), Donna was so generous with her time and spent hours and hours researching doctors and finding the right doctors for Iwanski and me. I am so grateful to her for that! She has also been there for me with little nuggets of wisdom--medical and otherwise--that have been a relief to hear. On the day that I had to go pick up Iwanski's medical records from our old hospital, she was able to tell me exactly which of his medical records that I needed to get, so that I could get them for free (rather than getting every single page, which would have cost me something outrageous like 60 cents a page). I'm telling you, it's certainly helpful to have a sister-in-law who works in medical records! And when Anna came over to help us put together our new exercise bike, Donna had sent along a Brita water filter pitcher that she had bought for us. Talk about generous...I'm so grateful for Donna.

And to my best girlfriend Diane, and to all of my wonderful Facebook and blog buddies, who have sent countless messages of support and offers to help, I am so grateful for all of you.

I've always thought of myself as a lucky person, but I don't think I ever realized how lucky and blessed I am until now.

Especially since I still have my beloved...my loving, kind, funny, creative, wonderful husband, whom I love more and more every day. I know I'm so lucky to have him.

And judging by the fact that he just did a little walk/dance around the house for the past 30 minutes, I think he'll be here with me for a really, really long time.

Iwanski Is Home!--Hooray!

2010-12-30T17:26:00.003-06:00

And now the healing process begins...thank you all for your prayers and positive thoughts!!

I will post more as soon as I am feeling a little more energetic.

Happy New Year to all! :)

Quick Update to My Blog Buddies

2010-12-24T23:30:00.004-06:00

My husband, my beloved Iwanski had a "mild" heart attack and ended up having a quadruple bypass surgery this morning.

It's been rough. It's been tiring. It's been scary.

But he's doing really well! They took out the breathing tube tonight (yay! You could tell Iwanski HATED that), and he is now resting comfortably in the ICU.

I am drained, exhausted, still a little freaked out, and deliriously happy. I thank God, all the prayers from my wonderful family and friends, and the talented and amazing surgeons, technicians, doctors, and nurses at Rush Hospital here in Chicago.

I am one lucky woman. God has blessed me by keeping my beloved here with me. It's the best Christmas present I could ever have hoped for.

And if ya'll are the praying type, please continue to send more prayers our way. I'm sure it's not a super-easy recovery, but he's on the mend, and the prayers and positive vibes can only help.

Merry Christmas to all!!

Wine, Stuffing, and Christmas Carols

2010-12-19T22:12:00.011-06:00

On Friday night, Iwanski and I got together with our good friend Jonathan to sing Christmas carols and drink some wine/beer. (The al-keehol helps us sing better!) As usual, we had a great time and laughed a lot.

Before Jonathan came over, I told him that I had bought him a bottle of Riesling (one of his favorite kinds of wine). What he didn't know was that the bottle of Riesling was...

A huge bottle! (I found this at Walgreen's, my favorite store. It's the equivalent of two bottles of wine, in one. Jonathan liked it a lot, as you can see!)

Later, Jonathan gave me a case of Trader Joe's 2-Buck Chuck wine for Christmas--in assorted flavors. Boy, are we wine-o's, or what? But I do loves me some 2-Buck Chuck!

And since he has been cooking delectable Julia Child meals for me so often this past year, I gave him a new Julia Child'ish book called "As Always, Julia: The Letters of Julia Child and Avis DeVoto." He was sooo excited.

And then, I said to him, "Since you've been cooking for me all year...I baked for you!" And I came in from the kitchen with some of his favorites: White chocolate macadamia nut cookies, and two types of candy containing white chocolate. (He loves white chocolate--obviously!) He seemed tickled pink with all the yummies. Yay!

Oh, and how could I forget? Jonathan also brought Iwanski and me a HUGE pan of his "famous" corn bread/sausage/jalapeno stuffing, which he calls "Dixie Dressing." YUM! Immediately, Iwanski and I scooped generous portions into bowls and ate to our heart's content. Now, mind you, I am not generally a fan of stuffing--but this stuff is just sooo good! (And of course, incredibly healthy. Anything cooked with two pounds of sausage and lots of butter has to be healthy, right?)

Later, post-stuffing (and after some tasty spirits), we sang several of the traditional Christmas carols, and did our best to sing in three-part harmony.

Happy sigh...good times with loved ones...it's what the holidays are all about.

Miss Cheddarpants

2010-12-10T16:31:00.002-06:00

It's official. I can't escape it. I was born a Cheesehead, and a part of me will always be a Cheesehead.

Now my sister and brother-in-law have reinforced that fact by sending me, for Christmas...

CHEESE!

Of course, I am tickled pink. As I have previously-mentioned, instead of a sweet tooth, I have a cheese tooth. And now my cheese tooth will be satisifed.

So far, Iwanski and I have sampled the string cheese and chocolate cheese fudge...both were met with glowing reviews.

Hooray for cheese!

Forgetful St. Nick

2010-12-05T20:08:00.006-06:00

Crap! It’s St. Nick’s Day tomorrow!

I’m really falling behind in my Miss Santapants duties this year.

Here I thought Iwanski and I had had a very productive, Christmasey type of weekend. This weekend, we put up the Christmas tree (sans ornaments), watched the 1938 version of a Christmas Carol, perused a book of historic Chicago Christmas photos together, walked through the Christkindelmart in Chicago’s Daley Plaza, and bought 15 Christmas presents! I thought we had done pretty well.

And then my niece posted on Facebook that it’s St. Nick’s Day tomorrow.

Crap.

Every year at this time, even though we haven’t been blessed with children yet, I like to continue the St. Nick’s tradition from my childhood (of course, nowadays I play St. Nick, rather than being visited by him), and I make a special trip to the store to load up on various candies and beef jerkys (Iwanski’s favorite). Then, in the middle of the night on the 6th, I sneak into the living room and fill Iwanski’s and my stockings with M & M’s and Butterfingers and Milky Ways and jerkys…and then excitedly wait for Iwanski to notice the stockings bulging with their loot in the morning.

And of course, he never notices, and then I have to point it out to him in some very obvious way, like saying “Hey, what’s that in your stocking?” And then watch him laugh as he looks over at it.

“You’re so nice,” he usually says. “I always forget about St. Nick’s Day.”

But now he’s seen it on Facebook, so he remembers. And I totally forgot about it. I did not buy M & M’s or Butterfingers or Milky Ways or beef jerkys.

Damn. Some St. Nick I turned out to be!

And then, as I was starting to write this blog post, Iwanski reminded me for like the 5th time this weekend, “We still have to put the ornaments on the tree.”

Crap! That, too?

Well, I’m comforted—if only slightly—by the fact that we do have two stuffed “animals” currently sitting in the tree, that I had placed there a couple of days ago when I was in a silly mood: Curious George and Mr. Hankey the Christmas Poo. That’s right, all that’s on our tree right now is a monkey and a turd. Awesome.

And as far as St. Nick’s goes, Iwanski is on a super healthy eating kick lately, so all that candy would be too tempting for him, anyway. Even if he didn’t eat it, I would then be forced to eat it, and well, you know that old song about “Christmas is coming, the goose is getting fat?” Well, I would then effectively become “the goose.” I certainly don’t want that.

I suppose I could stuff his stocking with other more healthy treats, but no one wants a stocking full of apples, carrots, and cooked cabbage.

Instead, maybe I will make some brownies tonight. I mean, one brownie now and then won’t hurt anyone, right?

The trick is not to eat all of the brownies in one sitting. I guess I could only give him one brownie at a time, and hide the others somewhere else in the house.

After all, nothing says Christmas like hiding food from your loved ones.

Tuning Up for the Holidays

2010-12-01T22:05:00.009-06:00

Every year around this time, Iwanski and I talk about how we would like to find a group that goes Christmas caroling around the city. And yet, somehow, every year, the holidays slip away without us ever achieving our dream of singing to perfect strangers while they stand there politely, thinking “How long do I have to stand here smiling while these people sing this damn song?”

But we do have one Christmas music tradition that we will be honoring once again this year: the annual Christmas music singalong with our good friend Jonathan. We always have fun, laugh a lot, and sometimes sound really good (sometimes not!), during our various attempts to do three-part harmony to Silent Night, Away in A Manger, and Angels We Have Heard on High.

This year, I think I’m gonna try to convince Iwanski & Jonathan to try to harmonize with me to the song “I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas.” Nah, Iwanski would never do that. He HATES that song, for some reason. (So when it comes on the radio, I usually turn it up extra loud and sing along at the top of my lungs. Muhahahhahaha…)

I, on the other hand, like pretty much every Christmas song—except for maybe that stupid “Santa Baby” song. Ugh! They overplay that song like crazy during the holidays—and I find it annoying as hell. “Come and trim my Christmas tree with some decorations bought at Tiffany's”?? Gimme a break!

But other than that, I love Christmas music of all kinds. I grew up in a very musical family, and for many years when I was growing up, we would all gather around the piano and sing Christmas songs together. It was very Norman Rockwell’ish.

When I was little, some of those songs would make me laugh and giggle and squeal with delight. Other songs would make me cry. Like Silent Night. When I was really little, I could hardly ever listen to Silent Night without bawling my eyes out. Sometimes I still get a little teary-eyed when I hear that song.

But the song that I loved the most as a little one was always Jingle Bells. Only I didn’t call it Jingle Bells. According to my older siblings (even though I don’t remember this), I would always call it “Gingha-ho Funny!”

Why Gingha-ho Funny? I have absolutely no idea. But it makes me laugh to think of my wee little self calling it that.

A couple of days ago on Facebook, my sister Sheri’s status told about my little 3-year-old niecey Nora Lu’s favorite Christmas song. Sheri wrote:

Nora's favorite song EVER! We've been playing/singing/dancing to "Jingle Bells" nearly every day for over a year. Last summer, her daycare teachers laughed over her continual request that they play the song during "music time."

Now, Nora Lu loves her Aunt Healthypants, but she’s extremely fond of my husband. Whenever we are coming to visit, she’s always more excited to see—as she calls him—“Jahhhhhhn”—than to see her Auntie. Iwanski and Nora Lu just have a special connection (which I have to admit, is adorable).

So anyway, I was tickled pink to hear that little Nora Lu shares at least something with her Auntie Carla, in that she loves “Ginga-ho Funny,” too.

Nora Lu striking a pose

Thanksgiving Surprises

2010-11-26T21:52:00.008-06:00

I shouldn’t be surprised, really. Thanksgiving dinner with my family never fails to disappoint, neither in deliciousness nor in laughter.

I love that I come from a family that laughs easily and often…not to mention that knows how to cook!

On the menu were many tasty eats, including turkey, ham, stuffing, mashed potatoes, cranberries, corn, green bean casserole, cornbread stuffing, cheesy hash-brown potatoes, and other delicious items…including five pies! My sister Mary got a little carried away when baking and ended up making pumpkin pie, pumpkin cheesecake pie, chocolate turtle pie, apple pie, and apple pie with crumb topping. YUMMY!

The plethora of pies soon led my sister Sheri to declare the holiday “Cinco de Pie-o!” We all had a good laugh over that one. (Here are pictures of the pies, doing their pie thing—I didn’t think to take the picture until after my family had already enjoyed several pieces!)

But before we got to the pie, there were several other Thanksgiving tasties to partake of. And since there were something like 28 of us present at the dinner, my parents had set up a buffet station where we soon lined up to get our fill of Thanksgiving tasties. As Iwanski and I were standing and waiting in line for our turn, I said, “I feel like I’m in line for communion at church.”*

Then Iwanski said, “Body of turkey…”

To which I replied “Yum yum” (in the same tone as the Amen given when receiving Communion at church).

My sister Bonnie had a good laugh over that one.

Then, as I started piling my plate with the Turkey Day goodies, I made a split-second decision. For the first time in SEVERAL years, I was going to try the mashed potatoes.

Now mind you, this is a big deal for me. It’s a widely-known fact in my family that I have hated mashed potatoes, ever since my Dad forced me to try them when I was a baby. I’ve been told that I said to my Dad, “If you make me eat them, I’ll throw up”—and then after he fed them to me, I actually threw up right there at the dinner table—but I don’t remember that part. All I know is, both the texture and the “blah” taste of mashed potatoes have always triggered my gag reflex.

So what prompted me to try them this time? Well, my Mom had shared with me the recipe for this year’s mashed potatoes, which included my favorite food of all time—cream cheese.

I have a really hard time resisting anything with cream cheese—or any kind of cheese—in it. In fact, I told Iwanski this weekend that instead of a sweet tooth, I have a “cheese tooth.” (To which he replied, “You have a whole mouth full of cheese teeth.”) And you know what?—he’s so right.

So I tried the mashed potatoes…and whatta you know, I didn’t throw up! On the contrary, I really liked them…which prompted me to declare loudly:

“I like these mashed potatoes!”

Immediately, one of my sisters called for everyone’s attention. As everyone suddenly became silent, she announced, “Did everyone hear that? Carla actually said she likes mashed potatoes!”

Several people cheered and laughed. I guess there’s a first time for everything.

In addition to the potatoes and all the other goodies previously mentioned, my Mom also made these little “turkey cupcakes,” which I thought were really cute.

I especially like the way they’re “looking up at the camera” in this picture. To me, they look a little confused.

Unfortunately, many of their candy corn “body parts” were falling off of them, so Iwanski started calling them “leprosy turkeys.”

My brother-in-law Rick said that they were “molting.”

The whole thing just made me laugh.

Later, I got a silly idea in my head. Some of you may remember last year, when I decided to take a picture of each of my family members wearing a tiny Santa hat. Well, a couple of months ago, my sister Cindy broke her right leg and ankle (and sprained her other ankle—poor girl!). So she’s got a cast on her right leg and foot. And so suddenly I decided that I needed to take a picture of her foot with the little Santa hat on it. So that’s exactly what I did.

Here’s Cindy with the Santa hat on her foot.

And here’s a close-up of her “Santa foot.”

We all got a good laugh out of that one.

I’m so grateful and happy that I’m from a family that shares my same silly sense of humor.

*If you don’t understand this joke, ask a Catholic to explain it to you. :)

Hilarity with the Iwanskis

2010-11-22T20:28:00.002-06:00

I am a very happy camper right now.

This past weekend was just wonderful, and I’m excited about the upcoming holiday, as well. We’re traveling up to ‘Scansin for Turkey Day with my family, and I’m looking forward to seeing everyone and soaking up the loud craziness that is a Fochs family holiday.

This past Saturday, I woke up early and went to a free yoga class at the local Lululemon store (a crazy-expensive athletic clothing store that can certainly afford to offer a free weekly yoga class). The instructor this week was from the Chicago School of Hot Yoga, and it was fantabulous. Halfway through the class, my heart was pounding, and I felt sweat dripping from my forehead onto my yoga mat. Now that’s what I call a good class!

After class, I high-tailed it home (with a quick stop for some Healthypants items at the grocery store), jumped in the shower, and then hopped on a train bound for Oak Lawn (the Southwest suburb where Iwanski grew up). We arrived at my mother-in-law’s house at around 2 PM or so and joined Iwanski’s family for a yum-tastic birthday celebration and dinner, commemorating the November birthdays of Iwanski, his sister Anna, and his brother-in-law Tony. There were lots of Miss Healthypants favorites at the dinner, including sweet potatoes, creamed spinach, and 7-layer salad (mmmm…7-layer salad…). And then there was pie…mmmm…pie…. Iwanski’s family really knows how to do dessert, and there were four different desserts to choose from: Pumpkin pie, some kind-of chocolatey turtle pie, blueberry pie, and chocolate cake. (I myself opted for a slice of the turtle pie and a slice of warm blueberry pie with vanilla ice cream…oh my Lord, I think that is my favorite dessert ever!)

But the absolute best part of the evening was when we were all sitting around after the birthday gift opening, and Iwanski’s 10-year-old nephew Jarun started talking about possible nicknames for himself.

“Some of the kids at school call me Jare-Bear,” he remarked. “I’m not sure if that’s good or not. How about Care Bear?”

“No, trust me Jarun, you do not want people to call you Care Bear,” Iwanski replied.

“How about Jayr-onimo?” He asked. We all giggled.

“Or how about just Jayr, like Cher?” He was on a roll now.

This went on for a good 15 minutes before he said, “How about just Jarun Seinfeld?”

His 16-year-old brother T.J. snorted. “Geez, Jarun, then you might as well be Jarlie Sheen. Or Jadonna. Or Jraiser Crane. Or…..Jon Cryer.”

We all cracked up. “Or……Jon Cryer.” T.J. delivered that line so well; it was hilarious.

Then Jarun came up with his best/worst one of the night. “How about Jarun Lube (like Jiffy Lube)?”

We were all laughing our asses off. “No, no, no…” T.J. laughed. “You don’t want people to call you Jarun Lube!”

“I think we’re done with this now,” his Mom added.

I was laughing so hard that tears were rolling down my cheeks. It was one of those simply hilarious moments.

Everyone in Iwanski’s family has a great sense of humor, and I’m so grateful for that. They are also all kind and generous people. I’m telling you, when it comes to in-laws, I really hit the jackpot.

Now, very soon, Iwanski and I will be off to see my crazy, fun family. I’m sure I’ll come back to Chi-town with many more funny family memories.

A Marble Rye and Cinnamon Babka, But How About Brownies?

2010-11-17T20:48:00.007-06:00

Iwanski and I have just spent the past twenty minutes naming food and drink items that are mentioned in the show “Seinfeld.”

Why are we doing this, you ask?

Because it’s fun.

At least to us it is.

It all started tonight after we watched the Seinfeld episode entitled “The Pez Dispenser,” a hilarious episode where Jerry puts a Tweety Bird Pez dispenser on Elaine’s leg during George’s girlfriend’s serious piano recital. Well, of course, Elaine starts laughing her ass off in the middle of the recital, which brings about many fun plot twists. And all because of Pez.

After watching it, Iwanski remarked, “Food really plays a big role in Seinfeld episodes.” I agreed, and then pondered aloud, “I wonder if they ever mention brownies on Seinfeld?”

So just for fun, we started naming all the food items we could think of that are in Seinfeld episodes…which was a surprising number of them—probably like a hundred or more.

But still no brownies.

Then Iwanski had a thought, “Wait, what about the episode where Elaine makes something in that Easy Bake Oven? Didn’t she make brownies?”

Immediately, I jumped on the interwebs and Googled it. But alas, it was not to be. Elaine made cupcakes in the Easy Bake Oven (from batter that "is like, 30 years old"), not brownies. Damn.

But apparently (according to many links on Google), Jerry Seinfeld’s wife has this amazing brownie recipe that has—get this—spinach and carrots in it. Who knew? Sounds strange, but I saw lots of positive reviews of the recipe online.

So now I might have to make the brownies. Since we can’t figure out a Seinfeld episode with brownies in it, Mrs. Seinfeld’s brownies will have to be our consolation prize.

Flying and Stumbling

2010-11-14T21:23:00.005-06:00

Recently, I was tagged in a meme on Facebook called “15 Scribblers.”

Here were the rules:

Don't take too long to think about it. List fifteen authors (poets included) who've influenced you and that will always stick with you. List the first fifteen you can recall in no more than fifteen minutes.

Well, I thought, what the heck, I can do that.

But after listing like six authors, I thought, “What the hell do I read besides blogs these days?” It turns out, not much.

Actually, it’s not that I don’t read books—it’s just that I rarely read the same author twice (with only a few exceptions). So to name my “favorite authors” seems like a bit of a stretch when I’ve only read one book by most of my “favorite” authors. It would probably be easier to just name my favorite books.

So then I started wondering…what was my favorite book was when I was a kid? And what has my favorite book been as an adult (so far)? And what do my “favorites” reveal about who I am?

My childhood choice for favorite book was surprisingly easy to think of. To be sure, I had many favorites—the Little House books and the Anne of Green Gables books, to name just a few. But my absolute favorite book as a kid—and one that I still own and even still re-read on occasion—is a book called “No Flying in the House” by Betty Brock. (I think it’s one of my sister Sheri’s favorite childhood books, too.)

Why was it my favorite? Well, first of all, what a great title, right? “No Flying in the House.” Doesn’t that title just get your childhood imagination going?

And then you have a sweet blonde-haired little girl named Annabel as your main character, a tiny, intelligent talking dog named Gloria that accompanies her wherever she goes and takes care of her, a kindly old woman who lives by herself and allows Annabel and Gloria to stay with her, and a miniature gold cat toy with emerald eyes who comes to life on occasion and tells Annabel that she’s really a fairy and can fly…and you have all the ingredients for a magical story.

When I was eight years old, I was enthralled with this book. Heck, I still am! The mystery of Annabel and where she came from and why she has a talking dog and why a mean-spirited toy cat keeps coming to life and telling her she’s a fairy…well, it’s just such a fun, magical story. And when I was little, I couldn’t imagine anything more exciting than being able to fly around the house. What fun!

So I guess what my childhood favorite book reveals about me is that I love a great story—especially one involving mystery and magic. Even now, I love to hear stories about amazing “coincidences”—which I like to think of as life’s little miracles. I still like to believe that magic exists and that magical moments can happen in everyday life.

As for my favorite book as an adult, I think it has to be the book “Stumbling Toward Enlightenment” by Geri Larkin. I love this book and have read it at least a half a dozen times. In this book, the author tells the delightful story of her growth from a stressed out, harried, unhappy businesswoman with an extremely annoying eye twitch that won’t go away…to a calm, happy, kind Buddhist meditator…but not without many “stumbles” along the way. What I love about her story is that she’s certainly not perfect—and she struggles with the exact same emotions and ego that we all do—but she persists, in spite of her very human imperfections, to try to be a kinder, calmer, happier person. And I very much admire that.

I also love her story because it’s so very funny at times—so funny that I’ve laughed aloud at several points in the book. My favorite story that she tells is about a time when she is invited on a cross-country ski weekend with some friends in Ann Arbor, Michigan. When she is packing for the trip, she thinks to herself that since she doesn’t know these people very well, she probably should steer clear of any topic involving Buddhism or religion or meditation. What she doesn’t think of is packing her swimsuit. (Who thinks about packing a swimsuit when you’re heading for a ski trip?)

So later that night, her friends ask her to join them in the hot tub of the hotel they’re staying at. Instead of just admitting that she forgot to bring her swimsuit, she goes to the front desk of the hotel to ask if they have any for sale. Well, all they have are these plastic-coated paper bathing suits—so she thinks what the heck, I’ll try one. OK…you might be starting to get the picture. First of all, with the paper swimsuit on, she says she looks like “a Chinese lantern in human form.” Then, once she sits down in the hot tub and starts gossiping with her friends, wouldn’t you know it? The suit starts deteriorating. So when she stands up later to get up out of the hot tub, one friend pulls her down and whispers “Your butt’s gone.” Sure enough, she has no more backside to her swimsuit. It’s completely gone. So she makes everyone look away from her while she backs out of the hot tub and runs back to her hotel room.

The lesson of this hilarious experience? She could have asked one of her friends for help instead of trying to figure it out on her own, but her ego and her desire to be liked by her friends gave her a very embarrassing moment instead. Of course, it also gave her a very funny story to tell, but the point is, sometimes our ego gets in the way of our better judgment.

So I guess my choice for my favorite book as an adult also reveals that I love a good story—especially one told with lots of humor—and especially one where someone becomes a better person—albeit with some struggles along the way. This is the same reason that I love the shows “Supernanny” and “The Dog Whisperer”—because no matter how much the parents (or dog owners) struggle along the way, there is always a happy ending…or should I say “a happy work in progress”?

That is essentially my view of life—it’s a happy work in progress, and even though we sometimes struggle, there are still so many beautiful—and magical—moments of life that keep us going.

Happy Birthday to My Favorite!!

2010-11-12T00:00:00.000-06:00

Happy Birthday to my very favorite…the best husband a girl could ever ask for…the one who makes me laugh every single day…

The guy that I affectionately refer to as “Iwanski.”

I love you so much, honey! I hope that you have the happiest birthday ever.

They’ve Stuck With Me

2010-11-08T21:12:00.013-06:00

The other day I was looking around my living room, and I started wondering…

What is the one object in my home (besides a photo album) that I have owned for longer than any other possession?

After thinking about it for a few minutes, I realized that for me, it’s my grade-school sticker album!

Sometimes I can’t believe that I’ve kept this thing. Like so many of my fellow female classmates, I was REALLY into stickers for a while. It was one of the big fads of the early 80’s. I actually had two sticker albums, both of which I dug out of an old box. And sitting here tonight, looking them over with Iwanski, was a fun trip down memory lane…

These “Wacky Packages” stickers in the middle of this page were some of my favorite stickers. I still laugh at the description on the bottle of “Drowny”—“Makes enough suds to flood the Empire State Building…You’ll never concentrate again.” Tee hee!

I really got into the “scratch & sniff” stickers for a while. And surprisingly, I tried scratching some of them tonight, and some of them still have a smell! My favorite “smelly stickers” were always banana and watermelon. (Can you tell? They look a little worse for the wear.)

I was not really that into the Cubs or Mr. T, but Iwanski said that I had these stickers because somehow, I knew I’d meet him someday. (Iwanski pities the fool who don’t like the Cubs or Mr. T.)

My sister Holly went to Germany when she was in high school (as a foreign exchange student), and she brought me back these stickers. I remember being SO excited to have German stickers. (By the way, the literal translation of “Wir fahren wieder Rad” is “We drive again wheel.” German is a funny language!)

And then there was my unicorn phase…for some reason, I was really into unicorns for a while. I had a huge collection of them…I wonder whatever happened to all those unicorns? Well, I know what happened to the stickers at least!

So there you go…a glimpse into Miss Healthypants’ younger years.

So how about you? What is the one object in your home (besides a photo album) that you’ve owned for longer than any other possession?

Wooo! Friday!

2010-11-06T21:45:00.004-05:00

FRIDAY

5:00 PM – Shut down my work computer and practically clicked my heels as I exited the building.

5:30 PM - Met some coworkers/friends in the bar at a Chinese restaurant and ordered a beer.

6:00 PM – Tried sake for the first time. Decided that I like sake, but not enough to drink it very often.

6:30 PM – Ordered another beer.

7:00 PM – Was presented with a menu full of very delicious-sounding Chinese food.

7:05 PM – Was asked if I like “Dynamite Shrimp.” Replied, “Yes.” (Even though I had no idea what Dynamite Shrimp was.)

7:20 PM – Enjoyed Chinese Chicken Lettuce Wraps, Salt and Pepper Prawns, Vegetarian Fried Rice, and of course, Dynamite Shrimp. (It was pretty good, but not quite as dynamite as I had hoped it would be.)

7:45 PM – Ordered another beer, enjoyed another glass of sake.

8:00 PM – Began preaching about the benefits of yoga to a female coworker with back problems.

8:15 PM - Apologized to my coworker about being a yoga missionary.

9:00 PM – Ordered another beer.

10:30 PM – Feeling pretty drunk. Was surprised and a little saddened to see several coworkers/friends leave to go home. Was also surprised to see that it was already 10:30 PM.

11:00 PM – Walked to a nearby karaoke bar with the two friends that were still up for partying.

11:15 PM – Ordered another beer.

11:30 PM - Ate sub-par nachos. Wondered how they had the nerve to call them nachos when the cheese wasn’t even melted.

12:00 AM – Enjoyed my friend Jonathan singing “I Think I Love You” to a lively crowd.

12:15 AM –Had fun singing “I Love This Bar” to the still-lively crowd. Thought I sounded pretty good.

12:30 AM – Joined the crowd in crooning “It Must Have Been Love” along with another karaoke singer.

1:00 AM – Left the bar, said goodbye to one friend, and stopped at 7-Eleven with Jonathan.

1:10 AM - Left the 7-Eleven with peanut butter cookies and a big can of Bud Light for myself, and a giant beef stick for Iwanski.

1:15 AM – Hung out at Jonathan’s apartment and enjoyed fun conversation – as well as popcorn, peanut butter cookies, and Bud Light.

1:45 AM – Suddenly realized that I was extremely tired.

2:00 AM – Arrived home and instantly fell asleep.

SATURDAY

8:00 AM – Woke up with a splitting headache. Took some ibuprofen and went back to bed.

11:00 AM – Woke up again and realized that my head still hurt. Decided to get up and make smoothies for Iwanski and me. Hoped that a smoothie would make me feel better.

11:30 AM – Watched the video of me singing karaoke the night before (that Jonathan had e-mailed to me), and realized that I hadn’t sounded nearly as good as I thought I did. Laughed about it with Iwanski.

12:00 PM – Took a hot bath. Started to feel more like a human being again.

Still Going Wild

2010-11-01T21:09:00.007-05:00

When I was in seventh grade, I entered a short story contest and wrote a children’s story called “The Night the Bubble Machine Went Wild.”

It was a story about three kids who are very excited to find out about a bubble machine that made all shapes of bubbles—even square and triangular bubbles! (Hey, I didn’t say it was a realistic story.) Anyway, even though they’ve been warned not to touch the machine without adult supervision, the kids sneak into the bubble machine “laboratory” late at night and start playing with the contraption. A short time later, the machine—as you might expect—goes wild!—and starts producing mass amounts of bubbles. Luckily, the kids get rescued before they drown in bubbles…and so, of course, they learn a valuable lesson about listening to their parents and about not touching powerful machines without adult supervision.

Hmm, as I write about it here, it seems pretty silly.

But what the hell, I still won the contest! And I was sooo excited. I had a local newspaper reporter come to interview me, and he wrote a story about me…I even got my picture in the paper! (This was a huge deal to a very nerdy, awkward teenage girl in the little bitty town of Hilbert, Wisconsin.)

So are you wondering if I actually won anything—money or some other kind of prize? I think I won a trophy of some sort, but that’s about it.

However, that’s when my 7th grade Social Studies teacher (who made up nicknames for every person in my class) started calling me “Million Dollar Carla” (pronounced like “Million Dollah Cahlah”)…and I was thrilled to be given the extra attention. He declared in front of the whole class that someday I would make a million dollars…oh, if only!!

Anyway, so the other day, Iwanski and I were walking on Clark Street on Chicago’s north side, and suddenly, right in front of us, I saw it! A real bubble machine!

Iwanski took out his camera to take a picture of the bubbles, and I jumped right in front to get my picture taken with it. I just couldn’t resist.

It seemed to me that the bubble machine was going wild, and I wanted to hang out right next to it. And totally without any adult supervision.

It's Friday...

2010-10-29T18:54:00.001-05:00

Put on your party hat!

A Reminder of My Younger Self

2010-10-24T20:57:00.006-05:00

I can’t believe it used to be my job.

Tonight, I was rifling through several boxes and Rubbermaid crates, searching for an old book, when I came across a thick blue binder. My teaching portfolio! I hadn’t seen that thing in years.

I was a teacher back in the mid-90’s, for almost two years. As I paged through the portfolio, I was stunned at all that I had done as a teacher. I came up with creative lesson plans, organized writing and reading workshops, made colorful bulletin boards, set up science experiments, sent letters home to parents, evaluated student progress, ran parent-teacher conferences, and managed disciplinary problems of many students. All that!—and I was only 22 years old! How on earth did I do that?

In my current job, I have many responsibilities—but my main responsibility is to manage a customer service help desk. That doesn’t seem nearly as daunting as managing a classroom of 20 kids, with all of their unique personalities and learning and disciplinary challenges, and ensuring that their parents are always kept informed of what’s been going on in the classroom.

I know I attended college so that I could learn how to do just that, but still—I am just surprised and impressed that I was able to handle it all at such a young age.

And a couple of other things struck me as I turned over page after page of the dusty old binder:

First, that I did all of this work without touching a single computer, ever. Back then, people were just starting to hear about the internet, and I had only really used it for e-mail. As I paged through my teaching portfolio, I was struck by how many letters and lesson plans that I had handwritten. Full-length letters to parents, talking about what new things their kids were learning, and asking for supplies for science experiments and the like…lesson plans and fact sheets, describing to my students how they would be graded on their “dress like the character” book reports or news radio “broadcasts”…all handwritten—mostly in cursive, although I started to use printing as my main mode of handwriting later on. And certainly there were some typed lesson plans—but that’s TYPED, on a standard typewriter—not on a computer.

For many of the lesson plans that I organized, I had to get the ideas from teacher’s magazines or curriculum aids that I ordered—often with my own money. I remember really loving one magazine where teachers wrote in to share their lesson plan ideas—I think it was called “Mailbox” or something like that. Nowadays, there are probably hundreds (or more) websites with lesson plan ideas for teachers. Man, what I could have done with the internet in those days! I’m sure it would have made some aspects of teaching much easier.

Secondly, I was struck by how young and naïve I was. This became really clear to me when I was reading one of the letters that I had written to parents, requesting materials for a science experiment. At the beginning of the letter, I stated that I really needed a few materials by the next day: 5 empty, clean 8-10 ounce glass bottles; 40 pea seeds; and 30 sunflower seeds.

Now I ask you: Are these materials normal items that people have in their homes? I certainly don’t! Maybe glass bottles were more widely used back then, but pea seeds? Really? Who keeps those in their home? And did I really expect the parents to go out that very night and purchase pea seeds and sunflower seeds so that I’d have them for our science experiment the next day?

That’s what made me think of myself as being young and naïve.

But at the same time, my very young and naïve self managed a classroom of 20 twelve-year-old kids for almost two years. I have to say, I’m pretty impressed by my younger self.

And this was a great realization for me…because so often, when I think back to my teaching experience, I think about all the things that I did wrong—all the discipline problems that I couldn’t fix, the one confrontation with an overbearing, over-involved parent where I should have stood up for myself instead of caving in to her “orders,” the one time I got so angry at my 6th grade class that I think I even swore in front of them (it was either “damn” or “shit”—I can’t remember now)…those problems always seem to jump right into my mind when I think about my teaching days.

But now I see in front of me evidence of my successes as a teacher—the many notes that I kept where students wrote “You’re the best!” and “I really love you as a teacher,” and the one parent evaluation where the parent wrote “Miss Fochs was the best teacher my son has had. She has consistently offered additional help when needed. Because of her help and patience, his grades have greatly improved this last quarter.”

And even more rewarding than that, the many examples of students’ creativity that I saved…the funny haiku that a student wrote about April Fool’s Day, the “Jurassic News” newspaper a student created, wherein she wrote an article about a huge volcano erupting and terrifying the dinosaurs and woolly mammoths, and pictures from the book party that a group of students organized—which included decorations, costumes, food, and a “Pin the Leg on the Octopus” game. So very creative!

So even though it was a very tough job, very challenging and stressful, I am glad that I got the chance to be a teacher in my lifetime. I certainly learned a lot—and many of the skills I learned as a classroom teacher—such as organizational and interpersonal skills—have helped me in the jobs I’ve had since then—even in my current job. Sometimes in my current job, I am called upon to train someone on a particular computer program or process—and I always embrace that opportunity wholeheartedly. I am very comfortable with my teaching skills.

All that being said, I am also very grateful that I’m no longer a teacher. It’s one of the toughest jobs there is, and I very much admire teachers who can maintain their sense of enthusiasm and creativity, for year after year after year.

And I’m also grateful that we now have the internet. It has brought my family and friends closer together, and has put so much information and creativity right at our fingertips.

And best of all, it has brought you all, my bloggy friends, to me. And I’m very grateful for each and every one of you.

Miss Varietypants

2010-10-20T22:09:00.010-05:00

Every Tuesday night, I get a happy surprise.

On that night every week, my good friend Jonathan cooks a delectable Julia Child meal for us to enjoy together.

But last night, he cheated on Julia Child and made a Spanish dish…

Paella!

Isn’t it pretty? Not only was it pretty, but it was damn good, too! I had never had paella before, and the combination of shrimp, chicken, sausage, red peppers, and rice cooked in onions, garlic, chicken broth, and spices was truly delightful.

And of course, the company was delightful, too. Jonathan and I have been friends for a long time and always have lots to talk about. We lingered for more than an hour over the paella, drinking a bit of "Two Buck Chuck" and chatting away happily.

We had barely finished eating the paella, though, when we started pondering on what we might have for next Tuesday’s dinner.

“How about we try to make some kind of shrimp dish together, so you can finally teach me how to devein those suckers?” I asked. I have been asking Jonathan for a while now if he’ll show me how to quickly peel and devein shrimp. (I have never deveined a shrimp before, but Jonathan grew up on the Texas Gulf Coast. He could probably devein a shrimp with his eyes closed.)

“Sure…we could have paella again,” he suggested.

“Nooo,” I whined, “We have to have something different! I don’t want to have paella two weeks in a row.”

Well, for some reason, this made Jonathan start cracking up.

“What?” I asked. “What did I say?”

He grinned at me, “Um…I have to tell you something.”

“What? Tell me!” I begged.

“Well, you’ve become a part of an ongoing joke with my friend Toni and me,” he replied.

“O-kay…why?” I asked, half-laughing, half-scared of what he might tell me.

He laughed again. “Because you HATE eating the same thing more than once a week or so.”

“Oh!” I laughed, relieved. “I didn’t know what you were going to say! Well, I’m not that bad,” I giggled.

But he was right. For some reason, I really do dislike eating the same thing more than once a week (or so). And I really hate having to eat the same exact thing two days in a row. I at least have to vary it up a little! This is especially true, I’ve noticed, of Chinese or Thai food—or really, any type of Asian cuisine. I love most Asian food, but to eat it for two days in a row is unthinkable to me. My taste buds just seem to scream “Viva Variety!”

I wonder if it’s just the Gemini in me—we Geminis like variety! Although—I do eat a salad every single day…but of course, I usually change up the salad dressing I use on a day-to-day basis.

Who knows why I’m like this? But apparently Jonathan thinks it’s pretty weird…and funny!

“Remember when you called me a couple of Monday nights ago, and said you were making an omelet?” Jonathan asked, “Remember, you asked me if we were going to have mushrooms in our Tuesday night meal, because you wanted to use mushrooms in your omelet—but not if we were going to have mushrooms the next night?”

“Oh, yeah!” I laughed.

“Well, right after I hung up with you,” he said, “I immediately called Toni and said, ‘You’ll never guess what Carla just asked me!’”

OK, I have to admit that it was pretty funny.

Jonathan continued, “Oh, and the other night, when I told Toni that I was cooking Boeuf Bourguignon for you, Iwanski, and Diane, Toni said, ‘So I guess that means that Carla hasn’t had any Boeuf Bourguignon for the past MONTH!’”

I laughed my ass off. Honestly, I felt a little bit honored that I had become the subject of their private (now public) joke. And I guess it is a little weird that I don’t like to repeat my meals very often.

But then I had a new thought. “You know, I think Iwanski is like that, too,” I said. “He doesn’t usually like to go out to dinner for the same type of food two days in a row.”

But then I remembered Iwanski’s penchant for hot dogs and bologna sandwiches, and I quickly retracted my statement.

“Never mind—Iwanski could probably eat hot dogs every single day,” I said, giggling. “And in fact, he’s eaten a bologna sandwich for lunch every day this week.”

And then there’s our cats. They eat two scoops of dry food and one can of meat by-products every day. And you don’t see them complaining. They love that crap.

I guess I’m just the weird one.

My Four Husbands

2010-10-15T18:25:00.006-05:00

A while back, I promised that I would write about my four husbands.

Yes, I have four husbands. At least that’s what I have decided.

First and foremost is my main man, Iwanski (my real husband). Ever since we met back in 1992 (can you believe it?), he has been my favorite person in the whole world. He’s the one that I always want to be with, the one with whom I like to take long walks, watch sitcoms, cheer (or boo) for the Bears, and drink beer and watch Hee Haw. He’s the kindest person I know and also the funniest. He makes me laugh every single day. Here’s one of my favorite pictures of us.

Then there’s my gay husband, Jonathan—whom I call Dooder (and he calls me Poodle). Jonathan is one of the sweetest, most generous people in the world, and someone whom I’m proud to call my friend. He and I met way back in May of 2001, when he was a temp at my job, and I was his boss. Soon after he came onboard as a temp in my department, he landed a full-time job in another department, and I remember saying to him, “Yay! Now I’m not your boss any more, and we can really be friends.” And almost ten years later, we are really good friends—and neighbors. He lives in Marina City, which is about a block from my apartment—and every Tuesday night, he cooks me/us a yummy dinner at his place. (See what I mean about being generous?) Every time we get together, we laugh a lot, too. Here is one of my favorite pictures of my gay husband and me.

Then there’s my work husband, Kevin. Kevin and I have worked together for several years, and we share a common love for sitcoms (especially ones starring Jerry Seinfeld and Larry David) and for birding. (Every time Iwanski gets a good picture of a unique migratory bird, I have to share the picture with Kevin. And he actually gets as excited as I do about it.) Nearly every day, Kevin and I quote Seinfeld to each other, and I am not kidding when I tell you that his way of speaking and his sense of humor are both extremely similar to Jerry Seinfeld’s character in the sitcom. Seriously, it’s uncanny. And hilarious. I started calling him my “work husband” a few years ago when we both saw an episode of “King of Queens” when the main characters, Doug and Carrie, both decide that they have work spouses. (Doug’s “work wife” just happens to be his best friend, Deacon. It was really funny.) Anyway, Kevin is also a good “husband” in that he keeps me sane on those rare days when someone at work makes me mad enough to punch him/her.

Oh, here’s one more thing about Kevin: For some reason, he won’t let me put his picture on my blog. He’s a little quirky like that. I guess there’s something weird about all “husbands.” We wives just have to forgive them their little idiosyncrasies.

Last, but not least, is my out-of-town husband, Tom. Tom and I have known each other for almost 15 years, and he and I used to work together until he moved to Philadelphia. (So I guess he’s sort-of like my “work ex-husband.”) My favorite thing about Tom is that he LOVES to party. And I don’t mean that he just likes to party once in a while; he LOVES to party whenever he gets the chance. He is extremely sociable and has a lot of friends, but he’s also very down to earth and not the least bit snobbish. He’s also dedicated to his friends and family in Chicago, and even though he now lives and works in Philadelphia, he flies home a couple of times a month just to hang out with them. Our favorite place to meet up (typically with several other people from work) is Jimmy Figg’s, a bar that has karaoke on Friday nights. We always have so much fun when we get together there (and of course, we always end up singing karaoke.) Here’s a picture of Tom and me on a recent “outing” at Jimmy Figg’s.

I love all of my husbands (‘though of course, none as much as my real husband)…but they all share some of the same qualities: They are all kind, generous, and funny.

Most girls would consider themselves lucky to have one wonderful husband. I guess I’m really lucky then, because I have four!

Hattie the Birder

2010-10-11T21:00:00.005-05:00

Lately, Iwanski and I have spent a lot of time in city parks and along the lakeshore, looking for unique migratory birds. I guess you can say that we're really into birding.

Apparently so is Hattie the cat. I woke up in the morning and found her lying here, next to this book. She had apparently been studying the "menu" during the night.

Holy Heat!

2010-10-06T22:19:00.009-05:00

This morning, when I got up and walked into the living room, I saw this:

Apparently my cat likes yoga as much as I do! Well, at least she likes lying on yoga mats. Of course, she likes lying on pretty much anything.

Anyway, speaking of yoga, last night, my coworker and I decided to check out a new (free) class at a studio called “Core Power Yoga.”

Well, apparently we did not read the Core Power Yoga website clearly enough.

We were both wearing our usual yoga outfits--t-shirts and exercise pants—and as we filled out the check-in paperwork, the receptionist remarked, “You’ll be in the heated studio—studio 1.”

Um, excuse me? Heated? What does that mean?

We were about to find out.

As we walked into the classroom, we immediately started sweating. (Later, I found out on their website that the room was heated to NINETY-FIVE degrees, plus humidity.) I’m kind-of glad I didn’t know how hot it was ahead of time. I think it would have freaked me out to know that it was ninety-five degrees in there. As it was, I was a little worried that I might not be able to handle a whole hour of the heat, plus movement.

My friend and I exchanged slightly nervous, slightly amused looks.

“Oh my God, I’m sweating so much already!” I said, rolling up my pants legs and praying that I would make it through the class without a problem.

But you know what? As the class wore on, as uncomfortable as the heat was, I realized that it was really helping me stretch better. I guess it makes sense—warm muscles are easier to stretch—duh!

I’m not going to lie. It was a tough workout. But it also felt really good—especially when it was over.

Oh, yes, I was really glad when it was over. As I walked out of the studio, my clothes were sticking to me, and I needed a shower more than I think I’ve ever needed a shower before.

And guess what? I’m doing it all again tomorrow night. Yes, that’s right. I am subjecting myself to another hour of exercise in 95-degree heat and humidity.

Just call me a glutton for punishment.

Miss Healthypants Reveals

2010-10-02T19:48:00.002-05:00

1. I think Beavis and Butthead are hilarious. Once I even ordered a collection of Beavis and Butthead DVD’s from an infomercial. The poor accented fellow on the other end of the phone line tried to sell me about fifteen other items before finally finishing the sale. That was the first time I’ve ordered something over the phone—and it will definitely be the last time.

2. I eat salad every single day, unless I’m sick or it’s a holiday (and even then sometimes).

3. I now call my husband “Iwanski” to his face. Seriously--he’ll say something that really makes me laugh, and I’ll put my arms around him and say, “I love you, Iwanski.”

4. I watch “Seinfeld” re-runs nearly every day and can make a Seinfeld reference for anything. Seriously. Try to challenge me. You can talk about whales, belly buttons, or socks—and I can think of Seinfeld scenes involving each of those. (Off the top of my head, I can think of two scenes involving socks.)

5. I have to take a warm bubble bath at least once a week. It’s a Miss Healthypants requirement.

6. I don’t like expensive jewelry or purses. I’d rather spend my money on things like a trip to the Ozarks or a humongous pile of cheese.

7. I watch both “Hee Haw” and “The Marty Stuart Show” every single week. And I really enjoy both of them. (Marty Stuart kicks ass. So do Buck Owens and Roy Clark.)

8. I love reading parenting books, even though I’m not a parent. I think it’s because they are always chock-full of happy, touching success stories.

9. I swear like a trucker when I’m not at work. I probably should work on this if some day I would like to be a parent.

10. I just got distracted by the t.v. and accidentally wrote that I love reading trucking magazines. Now I can’t stop laughing.

Adventures in Flambéing

2010-09-28T22:45:00.004-05:00

Tonight, Jonathan and I had an flambéing adventure...it was fun!

P.S. The food--Julia Child's Steak au Poivre--was sooo good. I highly recommend that you all ask one of your best friends to cook it for you.

I'm Freezing!

2010-09-26T19:42:00.002-05:00

It’s only September 26th, and it’s 56 degrees outside…but as I sit here in our apartment, I am wearing a long-sleeved shirt, sweatpants, warm socks, a Snuggie, and a blanket.

And I’m cold!

How on earth am I going to survive the fall and winter this year??

I can only hope that my body will adapt. I am comforted slightly by the knowledge learned from past experience, that six months from now, 56 degrees will feel absolutely balmy to me.

Still, summer is gone, and that makes me a little sad.

But then again, the season of drinking warm red wine and cuddling up in a cozy blanket is here.

And that, my friends, makes me happy.

Apple Happy

2010-09-23T22:10:00.001-05:00

This week has been a pretty good one, other than the couple of conversations with grouchy people at work—which I blame on the full moon. Seriously, did you ever notice that so many people get cranky as hell when there’s a full moon? I work in Customer Service. I’ve noticed.

Anywho, so other than the usual working, eating, exercising, and watching t.v., this week has been pretty normal. Good normal, but still normal.

But there was one little event of the week that for some reason, made me really happy. It was such a little thing, really…

I made my first ever fruit dessert—apple crumble.

See? I told you it was just a little thing.

But to me—a girl who rarely cooks anything that doesn’t involve opening a package and popping it in the microwave—it was an accomplishment.

For some reason—even though I don’t do it very often—I really enjoy baking. Now mind you, I don’t feel the same way about cooking. I would pretty much rather have my teeth drilled than stand around in a kitchen waiting for a steak to finish grilling or rice to finish cooking. Boring!

But baking…now that’s a whole ‘nother thing to me. I think that’s because baking is not absolutely necessary in the grand scheme of things. You could never eat another cookie or cake or pie or yes, even piece of bread—for the rest of your life, and you would survive (even though it wouldn’t be nearly as much fun). Baking is decadent—it’s the icing on the (cooking) cake! I like thinking that when I bake something, I am treating myself (and my loved ones) to something slightly luxurious. To me, all the baking work is SO worth the end result.

And thus, I stood there for several minutes at the kitchen counter on Tuesday night, peeling, coring, and slicing apple after apple after apple happily, enjoying every moment of it.

And later, as I took my first bite of warm, sweet, cinnamony apple crumble topped with melty vanilla ice cream, I smiled with delight and settled back into my chair…it was sooo delicious. And it also helped that Iwanski liked it, too! I enjoyed every bite of my bowl filled with tender apples, sugary crumble, and luscious ice cream.

And the best part was that we had leftover apple crumble, for the next couple of days. Hooray!

I’m glad that I decided to bake this week. Besides the yummy result, I also felt good about the fact that I tried something new. I’m thinking that it might be a really good idea to try something new every week.

So what new thing should I try next week? Maybe skydiving? Or rock-climbing?

Nah, I think I’ll stick to baking. But this time I think I will make pie. Maybe blueberry pie.

I think I’ve discovered an important happiness secret this week. Trying something new can bring a little slice of happiness into your life. And it can also bring pie. Mmmm….pie.

Cardi-Yoga

2010-09-18T20:44:00.002-05:00

OK, it’s no secret by now that I like doing yoga. (And I’m sure you’re all probably sick of hearing about it—and that’s too bad for you, because it’s pretty much been my obsession lately.) Honestly, it’s the one exercise that doesn’t bore me silly—and pretty much the only one that I can stand doing, besides taking long, relaxing walks with Iwanski.

However, as I mentioned in my previous post, I’ve been reading this book called “Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain”—and the one exercise that the author consistently mentions that is important to brain function is rigorous cardio exercise (i.e. not long, relaxing walks).

Rigorous cardio exercise? Ugh. I can’t run, because of my stupid plantar fasciitis foot. (It’s getting better, but not good enough to run yet.) And I don’t even really like running, anyway.

We do have a small workout room in our apartment building, with a couple of elliptical machines and exercise bikes. But for some reason, to me, using the elliptical machine feels like death. I can only handle doing that for a few minutes at a time. And biking on a stationery bike bores me to tears.

We also have a pool in our apartment building. But the whole process of having to change into a swimsuit, go swimming, and then going back up to our apartment, taking a shower, blow-drying my air, etc…etc…it just feels like too much of a hassle to me. (I know, I’m a big whiner. But seriously, people always think that if they have a pool in their building, they will use it all the time. Trust me, you don’t.)

So what is one Miss Healthypants to do, for cardio exercise? I wondered. Would I have to succumb to the big bad elliptical machine or the boring-ass stationery bike?

Well, about halfway through this morning’s “Music Yoga Flow” class, I had my answer. Yoga, my dear friends, can CERTAINLY count as rigorous cardio exercise. At least if it’s the “Music Yoga Flow” class at Exhale Spa Chicago.

First of all, when my friend and I walked into the studio, I almost immediately started sweating—and that was even before we started moving! It had to be about 85 degrees in there, at least. When we sat down on our mats, the girl next to me suggested right away that we both go get a towel.

“You’re gonna sweat a lot, trust me,” she said.

I started to get nervous. How hard was this class gonna be?

I soon had my answer. About halfway through our SEVENTY sun salutations (yes, I said seventy—for those of you who know what a sun salutation is, you know that it was hard work!), I thought, “Good Lord, what is this teacher thinking?” (I know that there are some studios that sometimes do 108 sun salutation classes, but I’ve always thought those people were insane. I still kinda do.)

As for the music, I was really grateful to have the mix of reggae, blues, rock, and light hip-hop to keep me motivated. I really enjoyed that part of the class.

Nonetheless, as I was breathing heavily and saw sweat droplets fall from my face onto my yoga mat, I started to wonder if I could really keep moving. The teacher mentioned that it was an “intense cardiovascular workout”—and I thought, “Duh!”

And then I thought “Yay!” Yoga can be cardio. I can get everything I need in yoga.

Thank God. Because every other kind of exercise pretty much sucks ass.

Miss Sniffleypants

2010-09-15T19:17:00.001-05:00

I have the sniffles right now, and a sore throat.

But other than that, I am a happy camper. I’m reading this fascinating book called “Spark: The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain” by John J. Ratey. It explores the connection between exercise and the brain—and how exercise helps with not only cognitive functions of the brain, but it can also prevent/treat anxiety, depression, ADD, addictions, aggression, and even Alzheimer's disease.

So far it is sooo interesting and very motivating to me.

I’ve exercised both in the morning and at night every day this week. I went to yoga class last night, and I’m also signed up for a yoga class tomorrow and on Saturday morning. Whoo hoo me! The Saturday class I’m signed up for is called “Music Yoga Flow.” The website says that the class is “set to great music, including rock, reggae, hip hop, blues and world beats.” That should be interesting. I don’t think I’ve ever done yoga to hip hop music before! The idea makes me giggle, but I’m really looking forward to the experience.

So hey, I’m living up to my name and acting like Miss Healthypants, after all.

Except for this damn sore throat and sniffles.

Dammit.

The Iwanski Challenge

2010-09-11T21:07:00.002-05:00

Last night, Iwanski and I were taking a walk in our neighborhood. As we took in the sights, smells, and sounds of a beautiful, bustling Friday night in Chi-town, Iwanski commented on overpopulation, politics, and the propensity of many people to steal if given the right opportunity. Although in many cases his words were laced with humor, I just couldn’t ignore the slightly negative tone that seemed to be part of everything he said.

I stopped and smiled at him. “I challenge you to not saying anything negative or sarcastic for the next ten minutes,” I said.

“Why?” he asked. “Hey, my being that way is just part of my schtick, part of my humor.”

“Seriously,” I replied. “I’ll bet you can’t go ten minutes without saying anything negative or sarcastic.”

“Okay, fine,” he said, giving in.

Suddenly, almost on cue, a bunch of people on a bicycle tour came riding past us. They were all wearing these really dorky matching helmets, they all had huge smiles on their faces, and many of them were ringing their little handlebar bells when they went past us. And honestly—well, with their helmets, and their bell-ringing, and their gigantic smiles, they all looked pretty geeky.

“Oh, man…are you kidding me?” Iwanski asked incredulously. “I can’t say anything here?”

I laughed. “They look like they’re having a good time,” I said, as several of them waved at us and rang their bicycle bells.

It was almost too much for Iwanski to handle. Through clenched teeth, he said, “Yes, they seem to be taking a lot of enjoyment from their activity.”

I laughed my ass off as the last of the helmeted bicyclists rode by, smiling and waving.

I looked up at the night sky and smiled broadly. “See, God has a sense of humor,” I said. “Thanks, God!”

Somehow, Iwanski made it through the next few minutes without a sarcastic blunder—except when he started to say that a passing CTA bus was “likely full of miscreants.”

And now, every time I think about those bicyclists, I start giggling. I’ll always remember my heaven-sent cavalry of dorks on bikes.

Crow!

2010-09-07T22:20:00.003-05:00

Tonight at yoga class, our teacher challenged us to try the pose called “Crow.”

Crow is a crazy-intimidating pose wherein one tries to actually balance their knees upon their upper arms. Impossible? Apparently not; I’ve seen people do it. Here’s a picture:

Anyway, my yoga buddies and I normally scoff at the very notion of doing that pose, while we make some weak-ass attempts at it, just for show. But tonight, one of us actually did it!

And it certainly wasn’t me. As my friend Rhyan balanced herself on her upper arms, she exclaimed,

“I did it! In your FACE!”

We all started cracking up. No, apparently yoga isn’t always just about peace and stress relief.

Sometimes it’s about accomplishing something with your body that you’ve never been able to do before…and then boasting about it to your friends.

And now my competitive side has been challenged. Even though I know yoga is all about knowing your body and trusting what it can or can’t do on any given day, I still want to be the next one of us to do the pose. Mark my words, one day I will do the Crow.

In Your Face!!

The Tiger on Your Lap

2010-09-05T17:43:00.001-05:00

Yesterday, I was telling Iwanski about the pilates class that I had taken in Millennium Park that morning.

“When we were doing a forward fold,” I said to Iwanski, “The teacher said ‘Picture yourself sitting on the couch watching t.v., and there’s something on your lap—like a cat, a dog, or even a person…now picture that it’s a tiger sleeping on your lap. Now, suddenly a new show comes on t.v.—it’s a Barney-Care Bears crossover Christmas special, and it’s going to be on for three hours. You need to grab for that remote control on the coffee table in front of you—but you can’t disturb the tiger on your lap. So lean forward for that remote—but don’t disturb that tiger!’ ”

When I told Iwanski about this, I was thinking that it was a funny image and a brilliant method for getting us to do the forward fold correctly, so as to strengthen our abdominal muscles.

Iwanski sat there thinking for a minute, and then he said, “I would say that if you have a tiger sleeping on your lap, you have much bigger problems than just what’s on t.v.”

That made me crack up. I don’t know why I didn’t think of that.

I thank God that I’m married to someone who makes me laugh all the time.

It's All About Being Kind

2010-08-30T22:13:00.008-05:00

I’ve realized something about myself this week.

I am an emotional eater.

It really surprised me to realize that about myself. I had always pictured an “emotional eater” to be a woman with extreme emotional issues, who sat there bawling her eyes out as she polished off an entire half gallon of Haggan Dazs chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream. That is certainly not me.

However, I realized that I do eat when I’m anxious or frustrated. Or at the opposite end of the spectrum, when I’m bored.

Like the other night. I was feeling very anxious about the little infection in my finger that could easily become a very scary blood infection. So what did I do? I polished off a half a bag of pretzels and ended up with a stomachache. Yeah, that’s what you call emotional eating.

I’ve read some interesting books by Geneen Roth (her latest being “Women, Food, and God”), and so far I really like some of the advice that she gives in her books.

If I were to take away one profound truth that I’ve learned from her books, it is this: Be kind to yourself.

It sounds really simple, “Be kind to yourself.” But what does being kind to yourself mean?

In my world (and to paraphrase some of the author’s ideas), being kind to myself means:

1) Finding a better outlet than food for anxiety and frustration,
2) When I’m bored, finding something entertaining to do, instead of eating,
3) Eating slowly, without distractions, and really paying attention to & enjoying my food,
4) When I’m eating, stopping every couple of minutes to ask myself “Am I still hungry?”,
5) Stopping the negative self-talk, like “I feel so fat today” or “I can’t believe I can’t fit into those pants any more! I’m getting so fat! I have to go on a diet right away.”

So far, I’ve really been diggin’ on this “being kind to myself” stuff. Here are some of the discoveries I’ve made in the past few days:

--On Saturday afternoon, I had a good-sized bowl of Fannie Mae Mint Meltaways ice cream. (Yummy!) Instead of watching t.v., reading, or listening to music while I was eating it, I sat comfortably and really paid attention to every single spoonful of that ice cream that I ate. Man, what a wonderful experience that was! Really, it was such a treat to really pay attention to what I was eating. And later that night, I felt no need to snack as I had done for almost every night in the past few months. I think I felt like I had been so indulgent (kind to myself) earlier in the day, so I was satisfied with not eating a late-night snack. (Late-night snacking had become a really bad habit for me.)

--Last night, I watched a lot of t.v. and was getting really bored. As I felt myself reaching for a bag of cookies, I stopped and asked myself if I was really hungry. I decided that I wasn’t, that I was just bored. So instead, I challenged Iwanski to a “Crossword Puzzle Competition.” (We compete to see who can finish the crossword puzzle in the daily “Red Eye” newspaper the fastest.) And whatta ya’ know? My “hunger” just disappeared.

--I realized that a lot of times at work, I overindulge on a snack at my desk because I’m anxious, rushing, and not paying attention to what I’m eating. Today, I forced myself to step away from my desk. The result? I calmed down and enjoyed a really delicious snack of popcorn. (At the grocery store, I found these individualized bags of microwave “kettle corn” popcorn at 110 calories a bag—very yummy stuff!)

--I also realized that I often do the same thing during lunchtime at work. I am always rushing from one project to the next, so lunch became yet another project to “finish.” All too often, I ended up with that stuffed, bloated feeling—which made for an uncomfortable afternoon. Today, I really slowed down and savored my food—and I stopped every few minutes to ask myself, “Am I really hungry?” I found this challenging—as I think I’ve been ignoring my body’s hunger signals for far too long—but I did come to realize that I wasn’t really hungry for those last couple bites of my Healthy Choice Asian Potsticker meal (as opposed to the um…Polish? potsticker meal?). So I did the unthinkable—I threw the last little bit away! Wow, that was a first for me. And most importantly, I didn’t throw it away because I was denying myself the food—I threw it away because I was no longer hungry—and being kind to myself means not eating too much and giving myself a stomachache.

--Today, a coworker of mine looked at herself in the bathroom mirror at work and said, while laughing lightly, “I just noticed how fat my belly looks in this outfit.” Now, before I began thinking about this whole “being kind to yourself” idea, I would have laughed and commiserated with her; I probably would have said something like, “I think my belly looks fat no matter what I wear” or something equally as self-critical. Instead, I began to share with her how I’ve been thinking about this stuff lately, and she said, “Hmm…okay…” I think I saw a faint recognition of “This is truth” in her eyes. We women are way, FAR too hard on ourselves, with how we judge our bodies. In fact, it’s now socially acceptable to criticize our bodies…in my personal experience, if you’re with a group of women who are criticizing what they perceive to be their “fat butt” or their “pudgy tummy,” you’re expected to join in by finding fault in your own body. Isn’t that ridiculous?

It’s just been such an awakening for me so far, to really embrace this concept of “being kind to yourself.”

And I know that I’m just at the beginning of this “adventure” away from emotional eating, into self-kindness…I can’t wait to see what discoveries lie ahead!

Blues, Stay Away From Me!

2010-08-29T17:31:00.004-05:00

It’s so very tempting to have the Sunday night blues tonight. But you know what? I have so much to look forward to this week.

For example…

--The weekly “Tuesday night Julia Child Meal” with Jonathan. Last week, he and our good friend Liane whipped up another awesome scallop meal—this one with cheese—my God, the Wisconsin girl in me loved that! –and with a yummy veggie side dish and a delectable Orange Bavarian Cream for dessert. (My cholesterol level rose just by looking at this meal!) But it was positively delightful, and I can’t wait to see the tantalizing meal that Jonathan creates this week!

--Big Brother – my one reality show indulgence is getting close to the end, and it’s getting exciting! I can’t wait to see who gets voted out this week.

--Wednesday “kick off day” – At work, I’ve been put in charge of working with a new customer service team during the fall, and Wednesday is our first “kick off day.” It promises to be busy as hell, but I’m ready for it, and eager to prove that our team can do an excellent job in managing the heavy workload. (I actually love being busy at work—just call me a glutton for punishment! It’s certainly better than being bored.)

--Getting rid of this stupid finger infection! I have the feeling that these awesome antibiotics are going to do the job this week, and I’ll be left with a normal finger again!

--Having a glass of wine after I finally get to get off these awesome antibiotics!

--Spending time, as always, with my hubby—my favorite person in the whole world.

This is going to be a great week—I just know it!

Not-A-Fingah!

2010-08-28T10:48:00.002-05:00

OK, so I’m not going to write about any of those topics I mentioned in my previous blog posting. Instead, I’m going to write about my finger—yes, my finger—and how it almost landed me in the hospital.

For the past several months, I’ve had a patch of extremely dry skin on the middle finger of my right hand. I’ve never had dry skin like this before, and it’s been itchy and irritating as hell. Finally, I asked my sister-in-law Donna (who for some reason always seems to be able to solve most of life’s minor problems) what I should do about it.

“It looks like you have eczema,” she said. “Go to Walgreen’s and buy a tube of their cortisone cream with moisturizers. I had a patch of eczema on my hand and that’s what helped me.”

I did as Donna suggested, and it did seem to help for a little while. Still, that very annoying, persistent itch would not go away, and I couldn’t stop myself from scratching. The skin was extremely irritated and broken.

I noticed that the more stressed out I got at work, the more itchy my finger was. And the more itchy my finger was, the more I scratched it. And the more I scratched it, the more it hurt.

I had a really stressful week at work. My poor little finger was miserable.

Then, on Thursday of this week, I noticed that the knuckle on the bottom of that finger felt “bruised,” and looked a bit red and puffy.

“That’s weird,” I thought—but I figured I must have bumped it on something. (I’m a bit of a clumsy person and tend to bump into things on a regular basis.)

Then on Friday (yesterday), the knuckle was even more red, swollen, and painful. I began to suspect that I had an infection.

I called Iwanski’s other sister, Anna, who’s a nurse, and asked her if I should go to the doctor.

“Absolutely,” she said without hesitation. “You need to get some antibiotics right away.”

“Okay,” I thought. I was starting to get a bit worried, so I called my doctor as she suggested. They squeezed me in for an appointment at 2 PM.

After waiting approximately 20 hours (at least it felt that way) and reading the entire Entertainment Weekly magazine from April 2010, the doctor finally came into the room. He was also followed by another dude, whom he introduced as an intern.

After I explained my symptoms and the doc took a look, he and the intern informed me that I definitely had an infection and that they would be giving me an antibiotic to knock it out.

“There is one caveat,” the doctor said. “Infections in the hands are a very serious thing. Because there isn’t much tissue in the fingers or the hand, infections there can spread really fast.”

“So tonight, I want you to monitor it closely,” he continued, “And if looks or feels worse, don’t hesitate—go to the ER immediately, and they’ll hook you up to an IV.”

The ER? An IV? I was stunned. Who knew that a simple little finger infection could lead to that?

So I did what I was told, and took a couple of the heavy-duty antibiotics that were prescribed to me—and then last night, I looked closely at my hand. Well, it still hurt, and the knuckle was still red and puffy—but it didn’t seem to be any worse. So we wouldn’t have to spend a night in the ER, after all—thank God!

I am so very glad that we live in the era of modern medicine and kick-ass antibiotics that can fight off these types of infections before they turn into something a lot worse.

And I wanted to share this story, just in case anyone reading it has a bit of painful, puffy, red skin on their hand. I guess it’s better to get it checked out instead of possibly ending up in the hospital!

Oh, and also, the doc prescribed a steroid cream to me, for the eczema—so I’m hoping it works. If it does, I guess it will have been worth it to have to deal with this little infection, to get help for that extremely annoying itch.

P.S. I will send a virtual pie to anyone who can tell me where the title of this blog post comes from!

Coming Attractions

2010-08-25T13:53:00.005-05:00

It has been a really really busy week at work--especially today (I arrived at work today to find 350 new e-mails in my in-box!)...so I'm extremely tired. And even though I'd love to have the energy to write a REAL blog today, this is what you're all stuck with instead...Miss Healthypants' list of Bloggy Coming Attractions.

Here's some stuff (see, I can't even come up with a better word than "stuff") that I will write about as soon as I have a little more energy:

Jonathan's brilliant food creation of the week, and his first-ever pair of "short pants" (which the rest of the world calls "shorts")

My four (yes, four!) husbands

A really weird acting audition I went to once

Some things that surprised/shocked me when I was a "newbie" to the city

And much much more!

So y'all please come back soon...ya' hear?

P.S. I promise I will be back commenting on other people's blogs soon, as well...I've been reading and not commenting--bad blogger friend I am!

Damn, I'm Lucky!

2010-08-18T22:25:00.012-05:00

Yesterday, I called my good friend Jonathan to see if he’d like to have dinner with me after my free Tuesday night yoga class. (Free yoga = awesome!)

He replied, “Sure! Do you want to go out to dinner, or should I cook?”

Now, I know Jonathan LOVES to cook and is really good at it, too. However, I didn’t want to impose on him.

“It’s up to you, dude,” I replied.

“OK, I’ll cook!” He said, with a smile in his voice. “I’ve been wanting to try this one Julia Child fish recipe, anyway.”

“Great, I’ll stop by after yoga!” I said, knowing that whatever he cooked, it was bound to be good. He’s a wonderful chef who has been on a Julia Child kick for the past few months (check out his Julia Child blog!)—and Iwanski and I have often been the very lucky recipients of his delightful French creations.

So anyway, after an hour of bends and twists and downward dog poses, I stopped by the grocery store for some bagged salad (Miss Healthypants always needs her salad!) and then traipsed over to Jonathan’s apartment, excited to discover the culinary pleasures that awaited me.

And I was hungry. Like, ravenously hungry. Actually, there is no other kind of hunger for me. I tend to go from zero to ravenous in approximately one and a half minutes. (Iwanski is more like a food camel. He can not eat all day, and not even realize it until about 5 PM or so. He thinks it’s a little crazy, how quickly my hunger hits me.)

So being the ravenous crazypants that I am, I walked into Jonathan’s apartment and immediately assessed the situation to see how long it would be until I could stuff some food down my gullet. Well, it turns out that Jonathan still needed to create the sauce for the meal, so I knew it would be a little while before the main course was ready.

Luckily, Miss Healthypants was prepared for such a food emergency. Remember, I had bought bagged lettuce—so while Jonathan stirred and whisked away in the kitchen, I settled down and had myself a big ole’ salad.

While I devoured my salad, I heard lots and lots and LOTS of whisking going on in the kitchen. Never have I heard so much whisking happening, and for so long. My curiosity was getting the better of me.

“What are we having, dude?” I asked. “Did you say you were making fish?”

“No, not fish,” He replied.

“Oh, are we having chicken?” I asked.

“Nope, not chicken. It’s a surprise.” He said with a gleam in his eye.

“Is it beef?” I guessed. “Or pork?”

“Nope, not beef and not pork.”

“Pasta?” I asked.

“No, not pasta,” he smiled.

What the heck? I was all out of guesses. I sat there and thought for a minute.

Then suddenly, this amazing thought came to me. Could it—could it be? Could he be preparing my very favorite type of food in the whole world? The type of food that I consider to be one of God’s greatest gifts to this earth? The type of food that I think is the most succulent, tender, delicious food in the whole world?

“Dude, are you making scallops?” I asked excitedly.

He smiled. “Yep, I’m making scallops,” he replied.

“Really?!” I squealed with delight. “I love scallops so much!”

“I know you do,” he laughed. “That’s why I’m making them.”

Folks, that’s how you know you have a good friend. Not only does he offer to make you a delightful, delectable Julia Child meal—but then he also uses your very favorite type of seafood in the recipe. I was so touched by his thoughtfulness.

And as he lay the plate of scallops in a beurre blanc (white butter) sauce, served over a bed of asparagus with sides of cherry tomatoes and pan roasted, buttery baby Yukon Gold potatoes, right in front of me—well, I thought I’d died and gone to heaven.

And the taste? It was out-of-this-world delicious. Even though I had just finished off nearly an entire bag of salad, I wolfed down that entire plate like I hadn’t eaten for days.

And of course, the company was delightful as always, too. Jonathan and I always have a good time together.

Halfway through eating it, he remarked with a devilish grin, “You know, between the two of us, we’re consuming about a stick and a half of butter here.”

How dare he mention that?! But that certainly didn’t stop me from enjoying every bit of it and nearly licking the plate clean.

After dinner, Jonathan asked, “Could we maybe do this once a week?”

I looked at him, surprised. “You want to make dinner for me—for us—every week?”

“Well, sure,” he replied, smiling. “I’d love that.”

“Absolutely!” I replied. Who could pass up an offer like that?

I’m telling you, I feel so lucky to have a friend like Jonathan. He is such a generous and thoughtful person.

And he makes a mean scallop.

Time's Fun

2010-08-13T12:05:00.001-05:00

Recently, Iwanski and I did some travels through parts of Illinois and Indiana--which, of course, are the two most exciting states in America. And we also accidentally ended up in Michigan...but more about that later.

Along the way, we took in some fun tourist sites, a lot of Mother Nature's beauty, and also some of her destruction.

We saw some crazy flooding…

We saw some beautiful nature at Starved Rock State Park in Illinois…

And some in Tinley Park, Illinois…

And we accidentally ended up in Michigan after searching for “Oink’s”…

(On the way to the Indiana Dunes State Park, we saw a sign for a business that said it was "five miles ahead, across the street from Oink’s—so I made Iwanski drive five miles to find out what Oinks was. As we got closer and closer to Oink’s, we suddenly saw a Michigan welcome sign. We were accidentally in Michigan!—and all because of Oink’s.)

It was a relaxing, fun, funny time...and I can't believe it's August 13th already!!

Sigh...I would like now to quote a line from the movie Short Circuit (I'm such a nerd; I love that movie!), "Time's fun when you're having flies."

If Miss Healthypants Was In Charge

2010-08-08T18:39:00.002-05:00

Recently, I told Iwanski that if I ran for President, I would issue two new executive orders.

First, and foremost—all fast-food and sit-down restaurants must have a side salad on their menu that costs two dollars or less.

I mean, really, how hard would this be? You put a few lettuce leaves in a bowl, add a couple of cherry tomatoes and maybe some cheese, top it with your dressing of choice—and ta da! You have a side salad. It’s easy and cheap—and it should not cost more than two dollars.

My other executive order would be this:

All public and private bathrooms must have a toilet plunger right next to the toilet. I mean, it has “toilet” right in the name—so wouldn’t it make sense for the plunger to be within close proximity to the toilet itself? It has no other use. What would be so hard about this?

You may be wondering about the origins of this executive order… well, I will tell you a short story to illustrate its importance.

Imagine yourself in a Wendy’s restaurant in rural Illinois. You have just used the toilet (only to go number one), and you flush the toilet—but then you realize in horror, too late, that the person before you has stuffed approximately 5000 sheets of toilet paper in the toilet—and it is now in serious danger of overflowing. As the water rises higher and higher and threatens to start pouring someone else’s toilet paper and poo all over the floor, what do you do? Do you go out, cut in line in front of six other people, and inform the restaurant cashier that the toilet is overflowing? Talk about embarrassing! Or do you hightail it out of there, rush to your car, and take off, wheels-a-blazing, before anyone can blame you for the mishap?

Guess which one Miss Healthypants did? I’m not proud to say that I fled the scene of the crime…and I’m a little ashamed that I did so. But think about it, you might do the same if you only had a split second to decide. (Don’t judge me!)

But the point is, if there was a toilet plunger in the bathroom, right next to the toilet, I could have avoided the whole agonizing moment. And think about the poor woman before me—toilet paper waster though she was—who tried to flush it the first time? She could have also avoided any of the potential embarrassment if there was a plunger nearby.

Also note that this law is to take effect in private homes, as well. No one wants to get caught at a friend’s home with a digestive problem and no plunger to be found!

So what do you think? I would run on the slogan “A Side Salad With Every Plate and A Plunger With Every Pot!” Would you vote for me?

Blogging Break

2010-07-29T20:34:00.002-05:00

Bad blogger. Bad, bad, bad blogger.

I promise I will be back soon with something to say.

I think.

I hope.

Yeah, I will.

I think.

My Very Annoying Bucket List

2010-07-21T21:26:00.006-05:00

Recently, I read the book “The Happiness Project” by Gretchen Rubin. It was very inspirational and left me with many things to ponder in my own life.

One of the “happiness increasers” (that’s my word, not Gretchen’s) that she shares in the book is how delicious it feels to really commit to a goal—and then, of course, accomplish it!

So I got to thinking about my goals—and then about my own personal bucket list.

For inspiration, I Googled “bucket list” to see the ideas that other people had.

Here were some examples:

--Break a world record
--Experience weightlessness
--Extreme skydiving
--Feed the sharks
--Ride a camel
--Ride in a hot air balloon
--Be a contestant on Survivor

Yikes! I don’t think that’s quite what I had in mind. For one thing, I really really really really hate heights and especially flying. Also, I’m scared of sharks, I heard that camels spit, and I am a huge wimp who could never last more than a day in the wilderness without my allergy pills, my microwave oven, and my sweet-smelling herbal shampoo.

Besides, I was thinking more about those types of annoying and/or seemingly insurmountable tasks that I often think that I’d like to do, but somehow never get around to it.

For example:

-- Clean out our hall closet and ditch or recycle stuff—like the green bar of soap shaped like a boot that I got in a White Elephant Christmas gift exchange at work a few years ago.

--Go to the doctor for my plantar fasciitis pain and get that damn cortisone shot, already!

--Clean up my blog links and get rid of old, inactive links—as well as add some links to blogs I’ve been enjoying but keep forgetting to link to. (Bad Alice and Yellowdog Granny, I’m thinking of you two!)

--Organize our bookshelves and get rid of books that I will never, ever, ever read.

--Somehow convince Iwanski to get rid of the books that he will never, ever, ever read. (This would truly be a miracle. Iwanski is an even bigger packrat than I am.)

--Finally take the three big garbage bags of “to donate” clothes that have been sitting in our bedroom for two months to Goodwill or Salvation Army.

--Tear the house apart looking for the tiny key (which has been lost for two years) which opens the locked filing cabinet in our living room

--After failing to find the tiny key, find out how to pick a lock so that I can open aforementioned filing cabinet.

--Clean out said filing cabinet.

Whew! I’m exhausted just looking at this list.

However, in less than a week I am going to check one item off the list. I FINALLY made a doctor appointment for my plantar fasciitis. And dammit, I’m going to get that shot, even if I have to scream “I WANT CORTISONE!” at the top of my lungs. I’m sure the doctor would love that…but I am SO ready for this pain to go away.

So hell, at least I am doing one item on my Very Annoying Bucket List.

So what should I do next? Clean out the hall closet? Organize our bookshelves? Find out how to pick a lock?

Whatever I decide to do, I think I will have to approach the task with an open mind…and an open bottle of wine.

Baby, It's HOT Outside!

2010-07-18T15:14:00.002-05:00

OK, I love hot weather. I really do. But it is like, OVEN hot out there. Perhaps Iwanski said it best on his Facebook status when he said that it’s “Kirstie-Alley-butt-crack hot out there.” That made me laugh!

But seriously, folks, it has been one hot summer. Last summer, it seemed like we hardly ever hit 80 degrees…but this year it’s been in the 90’s+ for several days.

I know it sounds like I’m complaining—and yes, I guess I am.

Just do me a favor and don’t remind me about this when I’m bitching about the icy 10-degree days in February. Please.

Random Gatitas

2010-07-14T21:26:00.012-05:00

I take pictures of my two cats (Autumn and Hattie) all the time, but I just realized that I never, EVER do anything with them. So now I'm doing something with them.

Enjoy!

Yoga Kitty

Trader Joe's Kitty

Stoned Kitty

Snuggie Kitty

Fat-Ass Cat

Comfy Kitty

Clothes Basket Kitty

Sunshine Kitties**

**Okay, so Iwanski took this last picture--but I WISH I had! I really love that one.

I'm really not a crazy cat-lady....but they definitely make me smile.

On the Wild Side

2010-07-09T19:47:00.000-05:00

Right now, I’m jealous of every kid under the age of thirteen.

Why am I jealous of them, you ask? Because they get to spend the entire summer just PLAYING.

Think about it. When was the last time you had three months off, just to while away the hours, with no responsibilities except to come inside the house for lunch and suppertime (where the food is already there, prepared for you; you don’t need to do a thing except eat), and just have FUN?

I think the last time I had that experience was probably when I was about twelve years old. Once thirteen hit, I was an awkward, nerdy teenager hooked on soap operas and longing for some boy to give me the time of day. Playing outside in the summer sun no longer held so much appeal for me.

But before the age of thirteen, I was a summertime wild child, free to do whatever I wanted to do, whenever I wanted to do it (within limits, of course). Enya has this song called “Wild Child,” and whenever I hear it, I am instantly transported back to that free feeling of being eight years old, running through sprinklers, riding my bike all over our little town, my messy hair blowing wildly in the breeze, and picking little green apples off our neighbor’s apple tree (mean old Mrs. Schroeder HATED that, and we were scared of her—but that made it all the more appealing to us, to try to sneak the sour yet succulent fresh apples from that little old tree without her catching us).

It was a wild time, and a happy time.

But adulthood has its happy times, too. Even though there are the adult responsibilities and worries of working, paying the bills, and doing household chores…there are also the extra freedoms that come from being an adult. Like being able to eat a cookie whenever you want and not have to ask your Mom or Dad if you can have one. Or deciding whenever you want to get together with your friends, without having to ask permission first. Or being able to run stark-naked through your house without anyone scolding you. (Not that I ever do that, mind you! Heh heh heh heh…) Or how about being able to watch whatever t.v. show or movie you want to watch, any time? Hell, you can even watch movies with swearing and nudity now. Hell, you can even swear now without anyone yelling at you—and dammit, that’s awesome!

And you can drink beer. Mmmmm….beer…….

But I think the absolute best part about being an adult is that you have more experience with life, so you can stop and really savor a moment—any moment—and you can really understand how beautiful and sweet that life can be. Sure, a child can appreciate moments, too—but not in the same way an adult can. Children don’t have that perspective that adults generally have, the perspective that says, “This moment will not happen again, so let me just really take it in and remember it for all of my life.”

And that’s what I did today. After leaving work at noon (yay for summer hours!), I was walking across the Lake Street bridge, and the song “Chicago (My Kind of Town)” came up randomly on my MP-3 player. I paused for a moment and looked down at the river beneath me. There were tourist boats and river taxis and kayakers chuggin’ on down the river, and the sun was glistening on the water’s edge in a beautiful, shimmery sparkle…and I nearly shed a tear as I heard the words:

And each time I leave, Chicago is
Tugging my sleeve…

In that moment, I could never picture myself being anywhere else in the world. I felt profoundly grateful for this city, for this day, and for this moment.

I Found Him!

2010-07-04T20:55:00.001-05:00

There were lots of things to do in Chicagoland today, like feeding your face at the Taste of Chicago, watching the Cubs lose to the Cincinnati Reds, enjoying heavenly barbeque at the Naperville Rib Fest, or enjoying some fun music at the International Festival of Life in Washington Park.

But I didn’t want to do any of those things.

What did I want to do? I wanted to go search for Waldo. Yes, Waldo. The star of the “Where’s Waldo?” children’s books, and four of his friends, were wandering the Millennium Park/Grant Park area between 4-6 today, and there was a contest to try to be one of the first 15 people to find Waldo and snap his picture. (If you did, you’d win an enlarged, screen-printed poster of one of the pages from the books.)

Now, I didn’t care about the contest—I just wanted to find Waldo!

And after about 10 minutes of wandering through Millennium Park, I spotted him!

I punched Iwanski in the arm and yelled excitedly, “There he is!”

We rushed over, and I was thrilled to have my picture taken with Waldo himself.

It truly is the little things that make life worth living.

It's Magic!

2010-07-01T21:35:00.004-05:00

I have a magical power. I bet you didn’t know that…but yes, indeed I do.

My magical power is my amazing ability to always call Iwanski when his hands are soaking wet.

What? I didn’t say it was a particularly useful power.

But seriously, this happens at least two to three times a day. I call Iwanski and he says, “My hands are wet, hold on a second.”

Yesterday, I called him, and he was laughing as he answered the phone.

“What’s so funny?” I inquired.

He explained, “Just a minute ago, I was thinking ‘I’m going to start washing the dishes, but I’ll bet that the minute I get my hands wet, Carla will call’…and then you did!”

“Really?” I laughed. “That is weird.”

“What is with you? Can you just sense that my hands are wet, or something?” he asked.

“I don’t know," I giggled, "but it is pretty strange.”

So there you go. My one magical power.

And now, I must go feed the felines—for their magical power is to annoy the shit out of me while I’m trying to write a blog post.

Miss Randompants

2010-06-30T22:28:00.014-05:00

Right now, Iwanski is watching the 80’s movie “Just One of the Guys.” I don’t know why, but that movie is always fun to watch. Maybe it’s just the 80’s nostalgia…or maybe it’s everybody’s favorite “girl passes for a guy” storyline. Either way, it’s really hard for me to concentrate on writing this blog post right now, while Terry (the girl dressed as a guy) is trying to talk like a guy and says, “How ‘bout another brewski, okay?” Too funny!

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Work has been going really well lately, and I had a great performance review this week. Now we’ll see how that equates into salary…hopefully it equates well!

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I’ve been doing a lot of yoga and pilates lately, and I’m feeling really good! I’m sleeping really well, too. (Now that I said that, I’ll probably toss and turn all night tonight!) I really love the yoga and pilates classes at Millennium Park on Saturday mornings. I can’t believe I get up early every Saturday now, but when I’m lying in savasana (relaxation pose) with my eyes closed, listening to the sounds of the city and the birds chirping, I just feel sooo relaxed and happy. Finally I found something that’s better than sleeping in!

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I love how Facebook gets you closer to famous people. Like recently, I read the wonderful book “The Happiness Project (Or, Why I Spent a Year Trying to Sing in the Morning, Clean My Closets, Fight Right, Read Aristotle, and Generally Have More Fun).” I was so inspired by the book that I “Facebooked” the author (Gretchen Rubin) and posted a message to her, thanking her for her insightful and inspirational words. Just a few minutes later, I got a message back from her, telling her that she was glad I liked it! I thought that was pretty cool, especially considering the fact that she gets tons and tons of messages from her readers every day. I enjoyed my little interaction with a best-selling author.

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Lately, Iwanski and I have really gotten into the t.v. show “Arrested Development.” We never watched it while it was in first-run episodes on t.v., and I cannot BELIEVE how hilarious this show is. It really is such a brilliant show, and I’m so surprised (and upset) that it only lasted three seasons. The writing is fantastic, all the actors are amazingly funny and talented, and as a bonus, Jason Bateman is SUCH a cutie. (Love him!) Last night, Iwanski and I watched the last few episodes on Netflix, and I swear, I almost shed a few tears over it ending. However, there are rumors of an Arrested Development movie coming out sometime soon, so I was consoled by that thought.

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Speaking of TV shows, the 12th (yes, 12th!) season of the reality show Big Brother starts next week, and I can’t wait! Iwanski doesn’t want people to know this (so don’t tell him I told you!), but we watch Big Brother every year—and every year, Iwanski tells me that he’s not going to watch it this year—but I know better. He just can’t resist the allure of watching a bunch of confrontational idiots locked together in a house for the better part of a summer—and neither can I! So freakin’ fun.

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And last, but certainly not least, yesterday was Iwanski’s and my 14-year wedding anniversary…and I couldn’t be happier. What could be better than being married to your very best friend? The last 14 years have flown by, and I feel so lucky to be married to the brilliant, loving, creative, talented, and hilarious Iwanski.

Aren't we the cutest couple ever????

Proud

2010-06-27T18:57:00.004-05:00

Today, Iwanski and I walked in Chicago’s Gay Pride Parade, in support of gay rights and the United Way.

It was a loud, fun, crazy, hot, fantastic day. I am proud of our city, and proud of the United Way for supporting gay rights and the betterment of our community.

Summertime Feast

2010-06-25T18:40:00.004-05:00

Has anyone else noticed how much harder it is to blog in the summer?

There are just so many other things to do in the summer that don’t involve sitting down at the computer, typing away. Like going on vacation in northern Wisconsin. (Fun!)

And like eating.

Today, I ate a cheese pierogi; sauerkraut pierogi; tortilla-encrusted tilapia taco; Irish egg roll; mustard-fried catfish; chopped salad with tomatoes, mushrooms, and blue cheese; blueberry Italian ice; mango rice pudding with dried cranberries; garlic mozzarella cheese bread; bruschetta; Italian sausage; breaded eggplant sandwich; hot link (spicy sausage); varenyky (potato, eggplant, snow pear, and Indian spice sauce), grilled shredded tandoori turkey, and cheesecake.

Yum! So where was I able to get all of these delectable tasties?

It could all be found at the magical once-a-year festival called the Taste of Chicago! And what a taste it was! Iwanski and I shared in these delicacies, and we’re both really full—and really happy. I love living in a city that has so many unique, yummy culinary treats to partake in.

And tomorrow, I’m going to work it all off (or at least some of it!) at Saturday morning yoga. And then I’m going to gain it all back again at Iwanski’s nephew’s birthday party tomorrow afternoon—where I’ve heard that burgers will be served up hot from the grill—yummy! And then I’ll work it off again at Chicago’s Gay Pride Parade on Sunday, where Iwanski and I will be marching in the parade in conjunction with my coworkers at the United Way. (I already have my United Way t-shirt all decked out with colorful ribbons for the occasion. I can’t wait!)

It’s summertime, and festival season is in full swing. I couldn’t be happier.

Where Oh Where Did Miss Healthypants Go?

2010-06-21T21:40:00.004-05:00

Guess where Miss Healthypants and Iwanski spent last week? I’ll give you a hint: it involved lots of driving, lots of deer, and lots of fried fish and cheese.

And here are some pictures, in case you still haven’t figured it out. We got away from it all, and it was a fun, relaxing vacation.

*Photos courtesy of sillyhead/awesome photographer Iwanski.

Up Early! Why?

2010-06-12T11:21:00.003-05:00

This morning, I did something completely out of character for me: I woke up early (7 a.m.) on a Saturday morning.

Now before you try to tell me that 7 a.m. is not really that early, let me tell you that normally on a weekend, I sleep in until 10:30/11 a.m. So yes, 7 a.m. is quite early for me!

So what prompted this change in sleeping habits for one Miss Healthypants?

Free outdoor yoga!

Every Saturday morning in the late spring & summer, the city of Chicago, and McDonalds sponsor free exercise classes in Millennium Park, which is like three blocks from my apartment building. The schedule is:

7 AM - Tai Chi
8 AM - Yoga
9 AM - Pilates
10 AM - Dance Aerobics

They offered free exercise classes last year, as well, but I was always too lazy to get my butt out of bed on Saturday mornings to work out…but not any more! Miss Healthypants is committed to starting her summer Saturdays off in a healthy way.

Anyway, I met a couple of friends there, and we participated in a 45-minute outdoor yoga class on Millennium Park’s Great Lawn. The weather was cloudy, warm, and humid, with just a slight mist of rain during the whole class—which I actually found quite refreshing.

And the class itself was good—not way too challenging, but just challenging enough—a good moderate workout for a Saturday morning—appropriate for almost any fitness level.

But my favorite part of the class was actually doing yoga outside, in the park. It was so lovely to close my eyes and come into Ujjayi breathing (a type of breathing used in yoga practice), and hear the birds chirping away in the trees around me.

And then there was the moment when we all did “tree pose" (see picture below). It was just so cool to look around the park and see the trees and then see all of us humans in tree pose. What a beautiful moment!

Tree Pose - photo courtesy of www.yogatic.com.

So I would say it’s safe to assume that I will be coming back to Saturday morning yoga in the park. Hell, maybe next time I’ll even stick around for Pilates!

Later, after class, I stopped in at McDonald’s for breakfast. And as I chomped my way through a breakfast burrito, I realized the irony—that the same corporation that had just helped me out by co-sponsoring a free exercise class, was now helping me to deliver fat and cholesterol into my body. When it comes to my health, I guess McDonald’s giveth, and it also taketh away!

Still, one of the central themes of yoga is keeping balance in your life. Just as I balanced in tree pose, I also balanced out my unhealthy breakfast burrito with some healthy fruit and orange juice.

And speaking of keeping balance, I will be mostly away from the internet and will not be blog-posting for probably a good week or so. So just in case you stop back here and think that I’m being a lazy-ass for not posting, just remember that I’m taking a hiatus to restore mental balance in my life. And yes, I’m also being a lazy-ass.

Chandu!

2010-06-09T21:04:00.008-05:00

Here's something I don’t think most people know about Iwanski and me: We like old-time radio shows.

Does that make us sound like old fogies? Well, it’s true. We are old fogies.

Anyway, every night at midnight, we listen to the radio show “When Radio Was," hosted by Greg Bell, on WBBM 780 AM. “When Radio Was” is a program that features old-time radio shows from the 30’s, 40’s, and early 50’s…and it’s a good way to transition ourselves to sleepytime.

My favorite shows are "The Jack Benny Program" and "Burns & Allen"…but for most of the shows, I only have a very peripheral knowledge of what they’re even about—because you see, I usually fall asleep within the first 5-10 minutes of the show. So although I know the titles “Lum and Abner,” “Life of Riley,” and “Our Miss Brooks,” I really have barely any idea what any of these shows are about. And I know that the Shadow knows “what evil lurks in the hearts of men,” but that’s about all I know about the Shadow.

And then there’s the show “Chandu the Magician.” (Chandu is pronounced “Chahhndoo.”) This show is on “When Radio Was” at least once a week.

The other night, I said to Iwanski, “We have to go to bed soon—‘Chanduuuuuuuuu!’ is on ‘When Radio Was’ tonight.”

Iwanski laughed, “Do you even have any idea what that show is about?”

I laughed. “No, I have no clue. Do you?”

“No idea,” he responded, laughing.

“But we have to listen to ‘Chanduuuuuuu!” I giggled.

Seriously, for some reason, that show is like a sleeping pill for Iwanski and me. I don’t know why, but we hear about two minutes of the show, and immediately, it’s like someone injected us with Ambien.

Hmm, maybe we’re on to something here. Maybe we should start marketing “Chandu” for insomniacs.

Anyway, the only thing either of us ever really hear is the beginning music and the announcer saying in a loud voice “Chanduuuu the Magician!”—and then we hear an ad from the 1940’s for Chandu’s “Assyrian Money Changer”—a box that is supposedly magic and can turn a penny into a dime. And to get it, you have to put a quarter and a box top from White King Soap (?) in an envelope and address it to “Chandu,” at a post office box in Los Angeles (they pronounce it “Los Ann-galese”).

But after hearing that Chandu ad, we’re both in Snoozeville.

One of these nights, I’m hoping that we’ll actually hear an entire episode of “Chandu,” so that we finally find out what it’s all about.

Then again, I think it’s more fun this way. I think it’s good to have a little mystery in your life—even if it’s just the mystery of “Chanduuuuuuuu!”

Mistaken Identity

2010-06-07T20:58:00.002-05:00

About three times a week, I get a voice mail on my cell phone for “Jackie Rasha.” Who is Jackie Rasha, you ask? Well, apparently Jackie Rasha is the subject of a search by a collection agency—and it seems that I have her old cell phone number.

When I first started getting these messages, I did my due diligence and called back the company to let them know that I was not, in fact, Jackie Rasha. However, the calls never stopped, so I finally just gave up and accepted the fact that the company doesn’t seem to care, since they obviously think I am her. At some point I even started wondering, maybe I am Jackie Rasha.

Anyway, the voice mail usually starts with the name “Jackie Rasha” in this funky computerized voice that sounds really drawn out—like “Jaaaaaaaaaackie Rrrrahhhhhhsha.” For some reason, I find that voice really funny. So of course, I started calling Iwanski “Jackie Rasha”—especially when he does or says something that I consider silly.

Then Iwanski started calling me Jackie Rasha. Now, we call each other Jackie Rasha on an almost daily basis.

The other day, we were walking down the street, calling each other by Ms. Rasha’s name—and I said to Iwanski, “What if someday we’re calling each other Jackie Rasha, and the real Jackie Rasha walks past and hears us saying her name?” What would she say? What would we say?

Just in case that ever happens, we should probably stop calling each other by her name.

But I’ve gotten pretty used to saying it, and the computerized voice is just so damn funny.

Oh Jackie Rasha, you have no idea how much your name has amused us.

And I’ll bet you all had no idea how little it really takes to amuse Iwanski and Miss Healthypants.

Miss Healthypants Mixes It Up

2010-06-02T22:10:00.014-05:00

With a name like Miss Healthypants, you’d think that I’d spend some time writing about healthy foods that I eat…but nooo…

As I look back on my blog over the past couple of years, I see references to Chinese buffets, an Indian buffet, a huge-ass piece of pizza, chicken wings, BBQ pork chow mein, string cheese, cheese curds, frying cheese, cream cheese (you see a pattern here?) and White Castle hamburgers. ..but barely any mention of fruits and vegetables (unless you count the few references to a salad drowned in ranch dressing—yummy!).

But now I feel that I must write about my new favorite food obsession…

FRUIT SMOOTHIES!

I have recently discovered how absolutely freaking simple it is to make your own fruit smoothies. Actually, my friend Diane convinced me to try making my own by telling me I could just buy all frozen fruit, stick it in the blender with a bit of orange juice, then a couple of minutes later…your very own yummy smoothie.

I was skeptical—as I don’t tend to cook or prepare anything that you don’t have to peel the plastic from and stick in the microwave—but I thought, what the hell. It sounded easy.

So I bought frozen mangoes, strawberries, and blueberries—and also some bananas, just for kicks. I mixed it all together in the blender with a bit of O.J, said a prayer to the smoothie gods….and…

YUM!

I loved it—and even more surprisingly, Iwanski loved it. Oh my gosh, Iwanski likes something that’s healthy! I need to capitalize on this!

So now, every morning when I get up, I make a couple of smoothies and then yell to Iwanski, “Come and get your smoothie!” I say it in a really high-pitched voice, too—I try to sound like that goofy Kate Gosselin when she yelled “Come and get your pop-corn!” (No, I don’t watch that silly show—they just kept playing that hilarious clip over and over again on "The Soup.")

Anyhoo, the absolute best part about making smoothies is that YOU CAN’T SCREW IT UP. I really don’t think you can—and if anyone could, I could (you can read all about my cooking foibles here). I’ve tried a bunch of different fruits and juices in several different combinations, and it’s always good.

I’ve even started sneaking some veggies into the smoothies now—so far I’ve tried throwing a bunch of spinach into the mix, and you can’t even taste it. Tomorrow, I’m going to try adding some chopped up carrots.

For the first time, I feel that “cooking” (if you can call it that) is like a creative venture for me. I love to experiment with different fruits and vegetables and different juices (FYI, Trader Joe’s Dixie Peach Juice is fabulous for smoothies—and it also tastes really delicious on its own).

And the best part is that both Iwanski and I get a healthy start to our day…although I do think that Iwanski is concerned about how far I might go with the smoothie creativity.

Tonight, as I was chopping up some carrots to use in tomorrow’s smoothies, he said, “Don’t get too crazy now—don’t start adding peppers or anything.”

Peppers in a smoothie? Yucky! Or would it be…? I just googled “peppers smoothie” and right away came upon a website that has a recipe for a “Sweet Red Pepper Smoothie.” I am SO going to check that out.

Iwanski has no idea what he’s in for!

It Was My Birthday...and I'll Smile If I Want To

2010-05-30T13:20:00.006-05:00

Yesterday was my birthday…and oh, what a birthday it was!

It started off with many, many birthday wishes on Facebook (I’m telling you, Facebook has made birthdays even more fun). There was even an ADORABLE video posted by my sister, of my little niecey Nora Lu singing "Happy Birthday" to me.

A little while later, I was treated to the classic “Birthday Dirge” song, sung by my sister-in-law Anna on our answering machine. I LOVE the birthday dirge song. It goes like this:

Happy Birthday,
Happy Birthday,
Pain and suffering everywhere,
Happy Birthday.

It makes me laugh—and so every year, I feel like my birthday is not really here until I hear that song. Too funny!

Oh, also, my friend Diane sent me a “Biker Kitty” paper doll postcard. Yes, it is what it sounds like. It’s a cut-out of a cat with biker clothes that you can put on it. I don’t know where she got it from, but I found it sooo funny.

I also received some great gifts from siblings, from my Mom & Dad, and from Iwanski…but that wasn’t really what I loved so much about the day.

First of all, it was sunny and like 80 some degrees yesterday…perfect weather for Miss Healthypants!

Then, we stepped out the door and enjoyed a parade in my honor—okay, so it wasn’t really in my honor—it was Chicago’s Memorial Day parade—but still, it was pretty cool. Lots of marching bands playing patriotic music—so fun!

After spending some time at the parade, Iwanski and I went to my favorite Indian restaurant—India House. The lunch buffet at India House is the BEST—I love it! It’s also very overpriced—but hell, it was my birthday, and that’s where I wanted to go. Yum, yum, yum!

Then, Iwanski and I took a long walk—as we love to do—to our favorite place, the awesome but free Lincoln Park Zoo here in Chi-town. My favorite part of the zoo lately is the kangaroos—I love seeing them hop about in search of plants to nosh on.

After enjoying a lovely afternoon at the zoo, Iwanski and I decided to walk a bit along the lakefront. It was SUCH a beautiful day, and the beaches were crowded with locals and tourists in colorful swimsuits—it was quite a sight to see. We ended up walking all the way home, stopping along the way at the grocery store for hot dogs to grill for dinner (I had seen a guy eating a hot dog at the beach, and suddenly that’s all I wanted was a good Vienna Beef hot dog).

We arrived home, collapsed on the couch for a while, resting our tired, sore feet…and then Iwanski grilled up the hot dogs, and we enjoyed a yummy summery dinner. Along with the hot dogs, I enjoyed some potato chips and a fresh arugala salad (I recently tried arugala for the first time, and I LOVE it). Dessert was peanut butter-chocolate chip cookies. YUM!

After dinner, Iwanski and I played the Seinfeld Trivia Game that he bought me for my birthday—soooo fun! And I would challenge any of you who think you know a lot about Seinfeld, to try your luck against Iwanski and me—it turns out that we know A LOT about that t.v. show. (It’s a skill that we carefully cultivated while sitting on our asses on the couch—we earned all that knowledge!) Anyway, we played three rounds, and I won two of the three—which is how it should have been, since it was my birthday and all.

Then Iwanski and I settled back with a couple of cold beers and enjoyed some country music t.v. shows—including our favorite, the Marty Stuart Show. Dolly Parton was the special guest on the show and sounded as lovely as ever.

It was the perfect ending to a perfect day.

And as usual, I feel like the luckiest woman in the world.

An Explosive Evening

2010-05-26T20:52:00.005-05:00

Have I mentioned that I love living in this city?

Last night, Iwanski and I were walking near Millennium Park, when we heard something that sounded like a big explosion.

“What the heck was that?” I said.

“It sounds like fireworks,” replied Iwanski. “I wonder if there are fireworks somewhere downtown tonight?”

We walked on, talking about our days, as the barrage of explosions (which sounded like bombshells) continued.

Suddenly, Iwanski stopped walking and turned to me.

“Isn’t it funny?—we’re so used to hearing strange sounds in the city, that we don’t even question them. There could be a terrorist attack and we wouldn’t even know it.”

“I know,” I laughed. “It’s crazy. But anyway, like I was saying…”

We walked along, talking about mundane things, as the explosions continued to get louder.

“It has to be fireworks,” said Iwanski. “I’ll bet they’re doing fireworks over the river tonight.”

“Yeah, let’s go check it out,” I replied.

We meandered over to the river and immediately saw the spectacular fireworks display that was going on right over the river, just a mere block from our apartment building. It was amazing-looking…and amazingly loud!

I covered my ears slightly and turned to Iwanski.

“Why is it so loud?” I yelled.

“It’s echoing off the buildings,” he replied, setting his camera into place on the concrete ledge above the riverwalk and starting to take some pictures. “And I think it’s part of the movie that they’re filming across the street.”

I looked across the street and saw a humongous light suspended from the top of a crane, pointed near where the fireworks were going off.

“Yeah, I think you might be right,” I said, leaning on the concrete ledge and watching the show.

For the next fifteen minutes, we were treated to a nonstop beautiful, spectacular, booming fireworks display. It was freakin’ awesome!

As we stood there, enjoying the show, people began to gather around us, snapping pictures and just enjoying the beautiful night and the amazing display. I also noticed people gathering on the other bridges up and down the river. There was just no way that a passerby could resist stopping and checking out the show. It was just so cool.

I also noticed the huge clouds of smoke floating up and between the nearby skyscrapers. To me, it looked like the smoke from a gigantic fire had enveloped the city. It was definitely an amazing sight.

Finally, the show ended, and immediately a huge applause and a chorus of “Whooooooo!”s rose up from the crowd of spectators. I joined in with my own “Whooooo!,” smiling from ear to ear.

It was just such a great impromptu city moment, and I am so glad that I got to be a part of it.

Photo credit: John Iwanski

A Bavarian Cream, Laughing in Church Kind-of Weekend

2010-05-23T18:08:00.008-05:00

I’m really really really really tired right now…but it was a fun weekend, and it went by so fast!

And yes, there was Blue Moon beer and Episcopalians.

There was also red wine, two bottles of “real” maple syrup won at the Farmer’s Market, a delicious “salmon” pate sandwich made entirely of raw food (mostly nuts and vegetables), tasty Mexican food, and best of all, a delectable dessert of Bavarian Cream with Almond Praline and Custard Sauce, made lovingly by master chef Jonathan. Oh my gosh, I am so full!

Jonathan’s Bavarois aux Praline (Bavarian Cream with Almond Praline and Custard Sauce), his latest Julia Child creation, was sooo good, and the best part was that he totally surprised me by topping it with really cute lit birthday candles (shaped like stars) and walking into the room, singing “Happy Birthday” to me. (My birthday’s in a week, but we celebrated it a bit this weekend.) I thought that was so sweet and thoughtful of him! I was tickled pink.

My bestest girlfriend Diane also surprised me with a fun birthday gift which included, among other things, a Trader Joe’s gift card (one of my favorite stores) and cute little yoga-themed sticky notes. They’re adorable! And so fitting, since I’ve been a bit obsessed with yoga lately. (It’s the one exercise besides walking that I actually like doing.)

And of course, we all really enjoyed each other’s company and laughed a lot.

I even got the giggles at the Episcopalian church we attended (we attended the church in support of Jonathan, who sings in the choir) this morning. For those who don’t know, the Episcopalian church service is very very extremely similar to the Catholic mass, so it was pretty easy for my Catholic-raised self to follow along.

Of course, there was a female priest, so that was different (and kinda cool).

And there was one difference that I wasn’t completely prepared for, even though Jonathan had mentioned it to us earlier. In the Episcopalian church there’s a “communion rail” in the front of church—and the people process to the front of the church, kneel down in a line, and receive communion. The part that I wasn’t sure about was how to take communion in the Episcopal church.

Jonathan had told us ahead of time that some people ate the host, and then drank from the wine cup—as is common practice in a Catholic church. However, he’d also said that many other people, rather than drinking from the communal wine cup (you know, germs and all that), instead did the “chip and dip” method—where you dip the host in the wine and then eat it.

Well, this presented Diane and me with a quandary: Should we drink from the communal cup, or should we do the “chip and dip” method? After thinking about it for some time, we decided that we’d do the “chip and dip.”

So the time for communion came, and Diane whispered to me, “I don’t think I’m gonna do the chip and dip—I think I’ll just drink from the cup.”

I nodded, watching the people in front of me go up to the communion rail.

But then, a moment later, she turned to me and said, “Wait, I think I am gonna do the chip and dip…because otherwise they hold up the wine cup to your lips and make you drink it like a little kid.”

Well, for some reason this made me laugh a little…but I stifled my laughter, since it was my time to go up to the rail. I kneeled down, and Diane kneeled next to me. The priest gave us our hosts and we both held them for a minute. I stared at the host, just sitting there in my open palm, and made a split-second decision. I looked at Diane and went ahead and popped that sucker into my mouth. Taking the cue from me, she did the same. Then we drank from the wine cup and waited…and then stared at each other, like “when should we get up?” Suddenly I saw the priest coming toward us with yet another host, and I nudged Diane. “Get up!” I whispered loudly. We hightailed it back to our pew before the priest tried to give us second helpings.

Then again, if the host represents Jesus, would there be a problem having a second helping of Jesus? Wouldn’t that actually be something you’d want to have?

These thoughts were running through my head as we went back to the pew. Then, as we sat there waiting for communion to be over, I thought, “I just couldn’t do the chip and dip.”

And for some reason, this really hit me funny. I started laughing—although thankfully quietly enough that I don’t think most people heard me—and Diane whispered, “What’s so funny?”

I just sat there shaking with laughter, trying not to laugh out loud.

Isn’t that just what seems to happen when you’re in church or at some other solemn occasion? I just could not stop laughing…so I bit my cheeks and tried really really hard to concentrate on what the priest was saying. Luckily, finally, the laughter subsided. Thank God.

Thank God, indeed. Thank God for my wonderful friends and husband, who give me so many new, interesting, fun, and funny experiences.

There Will Be Blue Moon Beer and Episcopalians…

2010-05-20T17:36:00.002-05:00

This weekend, my bestest girlfriend Diane is coming down to spend some time here in good ole’ Chi-town.

We’re planning on doing some girly stuff like shopping, and some human stuff like eating and drinking…I have a feeling that we’ll be consuming several Blue Moon beers!—unless, of course, Jonathan decides to make his famous watermelon daiquiris (always a favorite).

Oh, and also, we’re going to an Episcopalian church. Jonathan sings with a bunch of Episcopalians in a church choir every Sunday, and this Sunday, we will be there to cheer him on. Hmm…I wonder if you can actually cheer, out loud, in an Episcopalian church? Maybe I should test it out and see how it goes over. Nah, then again, maybe not. We wouldn’t want Jonathan to be all embarrassed…or would we? (Mu ha ha ha ha ha ha ha…)

Who knows what the weekend will bring? Regardless of what happens, I’m sure we will have a fantastic time and laugh a lot. We always do.

A Magical Place

2010-05-16T18:52:00.019-05:00

The minute we thought that we had seen just about everything there was to see in Chicago, Iwanski and I discovered something new.

Twice now, we have visited my new favorite place in Chicago: The Montrose Point Bird Sanctuary, on the city’s north side. I love love love this place! It’s a large, beautiful forested area with many trees and tall grasses, and a variety of unique birds and other woodland animals.

When Iwanski and I first found out about the bird sanctuary a couple of weeks ago, we were astounded to find that it was so big, and so secluded-feeling. The numerous walking trails weave through fifteen acres of beautiful forest and prairie grasses—I’m quite sure you could get lost there (or at least I could, since I was seemingly born with no sense of direction), if it weren’t for the lake that comes into view every now and then. I’m telling you, I thank God for Lake Michigan. It has helped me find my way many times in this city. (And actually, the stretch of the Lake Michigan beach near the walking trails is a part of the bird sanctuary, as well.)

Anyway, my very favorite part of the bird sanctuary is an area called “The Magic Hedge,” a 150-yard stretch of shrubs and trees that is called “magic” because it attracts an amazingly high number of migratory birds. And believe me, we’ve seen the magic at work. Just in the two weeks we’ve been there, we’ve seen at least twelve different types of birds, as well as several other forest creatures.

Today, as we arrived at the Magic Hedge, we almost immediately saw some unique yellow birds, a black bird with yellow and orange/red on it (which I later found out was called a “red start”), a pair of frolicking chipmunks, and two fat rabbits. As we continued through the Magic Hedge, trying to be quiet so as not to scare off any birds, I whispered to Iwanski, “I feel like I’m in the movie Snow White.” Seriously, it just really seemed magical to me.

So without further adieu, I would like to share some pictures that Iwanski took within our past two visits to the sanctuary. I already can’t wait until we can get back to this magical place again!

Caspian Tern (winters in Central America and summers in Canada)

Wilson's Warbler (winters in Central America and summers in Canada and the Northwestern U.S.)

Grey Catbird (winters in Central America and the eastern U.S. coast, summers all over the U.S. except for the West Coast)

Downy Woodpecker (lives year-round all over the U.S. and Canada)

Magnolia Warbler (winters in Central America and summers in Canada)

Red Start* (winters in Central and South America, summers in the eastern half of the U.S., and in Canada)
*Note: Iwanski did not take this picture—but this is the bird we kept seeing today, that wouldn’t sit still for a picture. Photo is courtesy of mayo.personcounty.net.

Cute-ass chipmunk (not the technical name…lives all over the U.S., all year round)

Going (Supper) Clubbin'

2010-05-10T22:24:00.009-05:00

This weekend, Iwanski and I were watching “Discover Wisconsin,” a show about interesting tourist destinations in Wisconsin, that we Tivo every week. (We have traveled a lot in Wisconsin and love the natural beauty of the state, especially in Northern Wisconsin.)

Anyhoo, there’s a commercial that comes on during the show every week for Capital Supper Club beer, a beer made by the Capital Brewery in Middleton, Wisconsin. The commercial is set in a “supper club” in Wisconsin—and for those of you who don’t know, a “supper club” is basically just a restaurant that, according to Wikipedia, present itself “as having a high-class image, even if the price is affordable to all.” Also according to Wikipedia, supper clubs are mainly found in “the Upper Midwestern states of Wisconsin, Minnesota, and Michigan.” Nope, there are no supper clubs in Illinois, at least as far as I know.

For a long time, Iwanski (who did not grow up a Cheesehead, as I did) thought that supper clubs were exclusive clubs, where you had to be a member to go there. I thought that was hee-larious, since I had gone to many supper clubs when I was a kid.

So anyway, this particular commercial for Capital Supper Club beer reminded me SO much of growing up in Wisconsin, and the tradition of going to a supper club or other restaurant on a Friday night. It was the Friday night fish fry! And my family would often pile in the car on a Friday night and drive to a fish fry at some local restaurant.

As a kid, I loved to eat fried perch (still do) and I really loved the salad bar (still do). But above all of those things, what I think I loved most of all was when we were sitting at the bar waiting for a table to open up, and I would get to drink a kiddie cocktail.

Remember those? It wasn’t until I was older that I found out that a kiddie cocktail was just 7-Up and maraschino cherry juice (or grenadine syrup). But I absolutely knew what one of the ingredients was—my favorite—lots of maraschino cherries. Yum! I love love loved kiddie cocktails.

Isn’t it amazing what little things it takes sometimes to make kids happy? I wish that nowadays, I could just be thrilled by drinking a kiddie cocktail. (Nowadays, an adult cocktail is a little more up my alley.)

And then, of course, after consuming mass quantities of maraschino cherries, it was time for the fried perch with french fries, and the iceberg lettuce from the salad bar, with lots of cheese and French dressing (that’s the way I liked it when I was a kid). Perhaps not the healthiest of meals, but then, I haven’t always been Miss Healthypants.

Tonight, Jonathan supplied Iwanski and I with a large portion of Coq au Vin, a rich, delicious French concoction that contains chicken, wine, Cognac, mushrooms, onions, and plenty of bacon and butter. (Yum!) It was sooo good, and Iwanski and I gobbled up the whole darn thing in one sitting.

I wonder what 7-year-old small-town self would think of my frou-frou French food, my love of Cabernet Sauvignon, and my 21st floor apartment in downtown Chicago.

I don’t think I could have ever imagined how my life would turn out. But I’m glad that I’ve spent some time in my life as a small-town girl in a Wisconsin supper club, sipping on kiddie cocktails.

******************************************************************************************************
By the way, the "Capital Supper Club" commercial is sooo cute--check it out!

El Dia del Pulpo

2010-05-04T21:14:00.003-05:00

Some days, I feel like the world is my lobster (lobster is so much better than oysters, don’t you think?), and I can do no wrong. I seem to do everything right, and everything goes swimmingly. (Lobster-swimming pun not intended.)

On other days, like today, I feel like the world is not so much my lobster as it is my squid. SQUID. Yes, I am having a SQUID day.

Anyway, today, in addition to several smaller transgressions relating to work and all that hullabaloo, I did something that Iwanski has warned me about probably about ten thousand times. I left the oven on for hours after I finished cooking a pizza. Thankfully, we have an electric stove—but still! Three hours later, when Iwanski cleared his throat and pointed at the little red light shining away on the oven, I was horrified.

I mean, what if we did have a gas stove? Ack…I don’t even want to think about it! But the thought that is almost equally as horrible in my mind is, “Oh dear God, now I will have to listen to Iwanski’s warnings even more often now!”

But I have to admit, it does make me realize that it’s a good thing that Iwanski is as annoyingly cautious as he is. Because clearly, I cannot be trusted not to burn the house down. (Damn it! I hate it when he’s right.)

It also makes me realize that sometimes I just need to SLOW DOWN, stop moving for one freakin’ second, and just BREATHE. My carelessness is often just a result of my hardly taking a break during the day. Clearly when I’m preoccupied with ten thousand things, I make mistakes.

And thus, tonight, I will begin again to try to do a daily meditation. Ten minutes. Ten minutes a day—that’s all it would take. Obviously I have ten minutes. I’ve been sitting here writing this inane drivel for the past ten minutes…

Hmm, perhaps my time would have been better spent meditating.

I Need To Get Out There!

2010-04-30T14:14:00.000-05:00

It’s Friday afternoon, I’m on my lunch break, and my coworkers look like they’re about to spring out of their chairs and run straight for the door. Why? Because it’s April 30th today, and it’s sunny and 83 freakin’ degrees outside! Hell, I’m about to spring out of my chair and run straight for the door!

I told one of my coworkers that our company should have at least five mandatory “warm spring days off”—so that when the weather is sunny and reaches over 75 degrees, we can all run for the hills (or to the suburbs, in some cases—or to one of Chicago’s city parks, in my case) and enjoy a lovely spring day off.

Have I mentioned that I love this weather?

Sigh…springtime in Chi-town. Life is good.

I Saw Goslings!

2010-04-26T20:15:00.001-05:00

On my walk home from work today, I looked down from the Lake Street bridge…and to my surprise, I saw a Mama and Papa goose and five cute little fuzzy yellow goslings following behind them. They were walking alongside the river, poking around in the weeds and looking ADORABLE!

I called Iwanski, and then I called Jonathan, to report the gosling-sighting…I told Jonathan that I’m convinced that it was Gertrude and Stanley and their little ones…which, as you may know, are: Pippin, Dumplin’, Pyrtle, Aflac—and the last one is either Foie Gras (Jonathan’s choice) or Jack Klompus (Iwanski’s choice). Since Iwanski didn’t get a chance to name the other goslings—and the name Foie Gras is a little too cruel for my taste (sorry, Jonathan!)—Jack Klompus it is.

I was so happy to see them, that I stood there for a good fifteen or twenty minutes watching them plod along.

I’m going to bring my camera tomorrow, and hopefully they will be there again.

I feel like God has smiled on me today.

What Happens When Diet Mountain Dew Goes on Sale for Super-Cheap

2010-04-25T22:18:00.003-05:00

Iwanski and I really like Diet Mountain Dew. A lot.

Of Friendship and Fricasse

2010-04-21T20:45:00.012-05:00

Well, I didn’t feel like stabbing anyone today…so I guess you can say that I had a better day than yesterday!

Hey, have I mentioned that my good friend Jonathan is on a Julia Child cooking kick, and that he’s letting Iwanski and I taste-test the recipes? Yeah, dude, it’s awesome! For the past two weekends, he’s cooked up delectable French recipes from Julia Child’s book Mastering the Art of French Cooking--and apparently he wants to cook another recipe this coming weekend.

So far he’s made Boeuf Bourguignon—which is like a beef stew—but to just call it beef stew is vastly underrating how good this stuff was. Even I—who have never been a fan of beef stew—gobbled it up like it was the last meal I would ever get to eat. Iwanski cowed out on it, too. My favorite part of the meal—besides the yummy mushrooms and pearl onions, which were extremely tasty—was that the beef was so MOIST! And anyone who really knows me knows that my number one qualification for food—especially for meat—is that it has to be MOIST. It could have something to do with the fact that I almost choked to death once on a piece of very dry bread, thus leaving me paranoid about choking for the rest of my life—but anyway…suffice it to say that the Boeuf Bourguignon was a wild success.

Then, this past weekend, Jonathan made Fricasée de Poulet a La’Ancienne (what Jonathan called on his blog “Old-Fashioned Chicken Fricasse with Wine-flavored Cream Sauce, Onions and Mushrooms.”) Cream sauce? Mushrooms? I’m there, dude.

And oh how good it was! Although Iwanski and I ate the Chicken Fricasse a couple of days after Chef Jonathan cooked it—and even though he had warned us that it wasn’t as good as leftovers as it was when it was freshly-cooked—we were not disappointed. The mushrooms were succulent, the cream sauce rich and delicious—and the chicken, of course, was MOIST! Hooray!!!!

I’m telling you, everyone needs to have a friend like Jonathan. Not only is he one of the nicest people I know, he’s also an outstanding cook who’s eager to share the delicious fruits of his labor with his friends.

I can’t wait to see what he prepares next!

That Kind of Day

2010-04-20T20:55:00.000-05:00

Did you ever have one of those days where nothing is really wrong, but everything seems really wrong? A kind of day when the slightest irritation makes you want to smack someone in the face?

That was the kind of day I had today.

And so now, I am having a beer.

The end.

I Feel Cheated!

2010-04-15T20:46:00.010-05:00

This was me on Monday night, with Gertrude the Goose. (Photograph, courtesy of Jonathan.)

Tonight, I was talking to Jonathan, and we both realize that it had been a little while since we had checked on Gertrude…so after work, I headed over to her nesting area by the Chicago River.

And lo and behold…she was gone! And so were her eggs. And so was Stanley. All that was left was a pile of feathers and dirt and probably poop and egg fragments (It was hard to tell what was all in that pile—there were too many feathers strewn about).

I looked up and down the river forlornly, wishing that I’d been there to see the babies hatch. (At least I hope they hatched, and someone didn’t just mess with the nest.)

I have a hunch that it all worked out okay…especially when Iwanski confirmed after a quick internet search that goslings are mobile and can swim within a day of being hatched. (How ‘bout that?!)

Still, I feel cheated that I didn’t get to see Pippin and Dumplin’ and Pyrtle, swimming down the river with their proud Mom and Pops.

I expected goslings. I need to see goslings.

Thank God for Google images. (Aren’t they just the cutest?)

This weekend, Iwanski and I are going to take a long stroll on the riverwalk and see if we can see the real thing. There are not too many things cuter than little goslings swimming in a line behind their mama goose.

*Gosling photo credit: www.new-jersey-birds.com.

A Weekend in Cheeseland

2010-04-11T22:05:00.009-05:00

This weekend, Iwanski and I took a trip to Wisconsin to visit my Mom & Dad…and we also packed lots of other visiting into the weekend. I AM TIRED.

Here are some highlights of our weekend in ‘Scansin:

--Stopping off for a quick walk on a nature preserve along the way and seeing a sign that said “Do Not Feed Bread.” (What would one feed bread? What does bread like to eat?)

--Enjoying wicked-good green curry and funny conversation with my sister Sheri and my hubster.

--Having a blonde moment wherein I realized why egg-drop soup is such a bright yellow color.

--Seeing the excited expression on my almost-three-years-old niece Nora’s face when we showed up with my sister Sheri at Nora’s day care, to pick her up.

--Following Nora down the hallway of her “school,” as she proudly showed us the way to her locker.

--Sheri telling me she had a present for me, and then handing me a package of string cheese. (Only in Wisconsin does one get handed a “present” of string cheese within the first two hours of your visit. But of course, I loved it—fresh Wisconsin string cheese bought from the local cheese factory is a thousand times better than the crappy way-too-soft string cheese you can buy at the grocery store.)

--Tasting some cheese curds that were also purchased at the local cheese factory, and happily realizing that they were still “squeaky.” (Fresh cheese curds squeak a bit in your mouth when you eat them—and believe me, it is yummy!)

--Somehow being convinced to try Nora’s child-sized sit ‘n spin (which my skinny sister Sheri has no problem riding on)—and then realizing way too late that there was no way I could get my fat ass on that thing. Then laughing hysterically and proclaiming it to be the “most embarrassing moment of my life.”

--Being captivated by Nora Lu’s cuteness as she played with her Dad and with us—I especially loved it when Iwanski played with her and made her laugh, as she ducked in and out of her little cardboard playhouse. (See pictures below.)

--Having dinner with my parents and eating yet more cheese with dinner. (Are you sensing a pattern here?)

--My parents sharing stories of how they first found out about square dancing, how long it took them to learn how to square dance, and how many interesting people and places they were introduced to because they had joined a square dance club. [My parents have square danced on two cruise ships, both in the Atlantic and the Pacific, and they’ve also square danced on the East Coast, the West Coast, in the Midwest (of course) and in Canada.]

--My Mom getting excited when her favorite “Lotto Girl” came on WGN-TV to announce that day’s Illinois lottery winning numbers…and finding out that both she and my Dad really liked the one lotto announcer because, according to my Mom “she always wears such interesting outfits, and she’s so smiley and upbeat.” (Have you ever heard of anyone being excited to see a lottery announcer before?—especially one from another state?!)

--Suddenly realizing that my Mom (who had not yet put away her Easter decorations) had bunny decorations, bunny knickknacks, and stuffed bunnies in every corner of the living room—and then going through the house and counting SEVENTY-FIVE (yes, seventy-five!) decorative bunnies in their house—not to mention three more of them on a decoration in the front yard. Iwanski and I laughing our asses off over the plethora of bunnies.

--Having a great conversation with my sister Mary about life, nature, and animals—and finding out for the first time that there is a sturgeon spawning season, just as there is for salmon. (Mary said it is supposed to start next week, when the water temperature finally gets warm enough—and she said there are some spots nearby where she lives, where you can actually touch the sturgeons as they lay their eggs on the rocks.)

--Visiting with my sister Cindy and her granddaughter (my great niece) Amaya. Amaya is almost two years old and full of energy and big smiles. I spent a couple of hours on Saturday following her around and playing with her—and man oh man, I had a lot of fun, but she wore me out! But she is sooo adorable and fun, so it was worth it. (Who else but an almost-two-year-old can find it hilarious when you say “vroom, vroom” while turning the wheels on an exercise bike with your hands?)

--Enjoying bratwurst from a “real Wisconsin brat fry” with my family. (In the spring and summer in Wisconsin, it’s very common to see brats being “fried” (they’re not really fried, they’re grilled—but the Wisconsinites call it fried) at a stand outside your local grocery store, with the proceeds going to a local charity. It smells wonderful and tastes just as good.) And of course, I ate some more string cheese with our brat meal.

--Seeing my sister Bonnie and my nephew Nick (who lives in the suburbs of St. Paul, Minnesota—but spent his spring break with my family in Wisconsin). Nick (who’s in first grade) showed us his “Spring Break Collage” and “Cereal Box Car” (a toy car made from a cereal box) that he and his cousin Michael (who’s in college) had made together, and then he proclaimed Michael to be his “favorite cousin.” I’m telling you, that really warmed me cockles, to see the fantastic friendship that had developed among the two cousins.

--Visiting the nieciest niece Stacy and her husband Nabil, and meeting their precious three-month-old daughter Nina for the first time. (Nina was a bit cranky, but still smiled and “talked” with us a bit.) Enjoying delicious chicken, bacon, & ranch pizza and cheese sticks (eek! More cheese!) with Stacy and Nabil, while Nina hung out in her little swing nearby.

--Driving home and realizing that I had lost our little cord that plugs our MP-3 player into the car stereo, which made Iwanski very cranky and “lecturey” about carelessness…but then a few hours later, Iwanski realizing that he had left both his MP-3 player and his sunglasses in the rental car that he had dropped off in the evening rental return place earlier in the night.

--Thanking the universe for “even-ing things out” as I offered to walk back to the car rental place with Iwanski, smiling all the way. [Luckily, he had also left the car door open—and amazingly, the MP-3 player and sunglasses were still there. Still, I was glad that for once, Iwanski was careless, too. (It’s not just me!)]

--Iwanski saying, “I just had my ass handed to me by karma.”

--Relaxing and recovering from a weekend of socializing, full of good memories that will last a lifetime.

And now, without further adieu, are some pictures of my adorable niecey Nora Lu, for your enjoyment...

They Have Names

2010-04-05T21:05:00.004-05:00

Today, my friend Jonathan saw our neighborhood geese for the first time. He called me at work to tell me that someone had put some oyster crackers near the nest for the Mama Goose. So apparently I’m not the only one who likes our geese!

Jonathan and I have decided to name them Gertrude and Stanley. I have also decided that when their goslings are hatched, one of them has to be named Pippin. (I just like the name Pippin for a goose.)

Jonathan and I are also starting to worry about how Gertrude and Stanley will be able to get their babies down from that nest up in the planter. Somehow, they must know what they’re doing, though, right?

I can’t wait to see Pippin and the other little ones! (I told Jonathan he could name the rest of them.)

I know you all will be waiting with bated breath…so I’ll be sure to keep you posted!

Mother Nature Surprises Us

2010-04-03T18:58:00.004-05:00

There are signs of spring popping up everywhere here in Chi-town.

Last Sunday, Iwanski and I started out on our typical long weekend walk and were meandering across the Dearborn Street bridge. We were gazing down at the lovely Chicago River, sparkling in the sun, when suddenly I noticed that there was a goose sitting in a planter on the riverwalk, with another goose standing nearby.

“Do you think she laid her eggs in that planter?” I asked Iwanski.

“I don’t know,” he replied. “That would not be the best place for a nest.” (It is the riverwalk, after all—people walk down there often—and restaurants sometimes set up shop there during the spring and summer.)

It was hard to tell. Maybe the goose was just resting there momentarily.

This past Wednesday night, the temperature was a beautiful (and unseasonably warm) 75 degrees, and I said to Iwanski, “Let’s go take a walk and see if the goose is still there.”

So we walked over to the bridge and looked down on the riverwalk…and sure enough, there she was! Sitting there in that same planter—obviously sitting atop her eggs—with her mate swimming nearby. We were both surprised that they were still there.

We watched as a few people walked by her nest, and her neck swung out toward them as she let out a loud “hiss!” (It startled the people, who hadn’t even noticed that she was there.) But her mate barely moved—even though I could tell he was watching closely. I thought that was pretty interesting, and Iwanski speculated that perhaps she was defending her eggs from potential predators up there, while her mate was defending them against a water attack. Who knows? Perhaps her mate just didn’t take the people seriously.

The next day, Iwanski came by with his camera and took this picture of them.

We’ve stopped by and visited “our geese” a few times since then—and they are always in the same spot—although sometimes the male is away for a brief period of time—presumably looking for food.

“I wonder how long before her eggs hatch?” I asked.

“I don’t know—we’ll have to find out,” Iwanski said.

When we came home, we found out our answer, along with some more interesting facts about Canadian geese (from allaboutbirds.org and geesepeace.org) For example:

--The gestation period for Canadian geese is 28-30 days. (I can’t wait to see those adorable little goslings!)

--They tend to nest on the ground, usually on a muskrat mound or other slightly elevated site, near water. They prefer a spot from which they can have a fairly unobstructed view in many directions.

--When egg laying begins the "Father" goose will stand sentinel watch nearby, but not so close as to give away the location of nest to a predator. (So that may explain why he didn’t react too much to the people—potential predators—passing by.)

--Geese mate for life and will stay together during all seasons.

--Geese will find a new mate if their mate dies or is killed.

--Geese return to the general area of their birth each year to mate and nest. Sometimes to the exact site, sometimes to a nearby pond or other body of water. (So we might see their “kids” there next year!)

I, for one, was fascinated to learn all of these things about our new neighborhood friends…and in a few weeks, I hope to see their little ones peeking out of the nest.

I love springtime…and even though I love living in the city, with its tall, impressive buildings and trains and museums and taxicabs, I’m also very grateful that there is still plenty of beautiful nature surrounding us.

Mucho Queso!

2010-03-29T22:23:00.001-05:00

Today, my niece Stacy (AKA the nieciest niece) posted the following inquiry on Facebook:

“Curious. Does anyone besides my family eat a piece of cheese with their leftover waffle syrup?”

Oh. My. Goodness. I totally forgot about that!

Growing up in Wisconsin, I can tell you that all the rumors/jokes about Wisconsinites eating a lot of cheese really are true. Wisconsinites eat an abundant amount of cheese. And they eat it with almost everything.

I can tell you that in the house where I grew up, we always had a plate of sliced cheese, with every meal. It was just something that we took for granted, a normal part of every family mealtime.

And in case you’re wondering, a slice of cheese with maple syrup is really good. I just totally forgot about it until Stacy brought it up. Now I’m dying to try it again.

Then my sisters Sheri and Bonnie joined in the Facebook conversation and mentioned their love of cheese dipped in applesauce, and strawberry jam and cheese sandwiches.

Wow! It had been a long time, but I remember eating both of those combos growing up, and loving how they tasted—especially strawberry jam and cheese sandwiches. Those were a staple of my childhood. Yum yum yum! I also remembered how much I used to like eating peanut butter and cheese sandwiches. Delicioso!

I know, I know—to those of you who didn’t grow up in Wisconsin, it may seem pretty odd to pair cheese with syrup, applesauce, peanut butter, or jam—but believe me, it’s all good.

Don’t knock it ‘till you try it!

Ten Things I’m Really In Love With This Week

2010-03-25T23:13:00.002-05:00

1. The French market by my workplace, which had huge bunches of fresh green leaf lettuce for sale, for only a dollar each!—and yummy Jonagold apples for only 77 cents per pound!

2. The TV show “The Dog Whisperer.” That guy is a freakin’ genius.

3. The book “On the Road,” which I’ve just started to read. What an amazing trip…

4. The fact that the AVERAGE high temperature here is now almost 50 degrees—no more 20’s and 30’s for us!

5. Iwanski’s Grandma doing well after emergency hernia surgery.

6. The Talking Heads song “Once in a Lifetime.”

7. Taking photos on my daily walk to work.

8. Pigeons and ducks obviously trying to get it on, right out in the open, in public!

9. My husband and his silly sense of humor, even when he’s not feeling particularly funny. (Today he told me that he was feeling “canteloupe Lassie”—you know, melancholy.)

10. The beautiful budding trees, waking up to springtime—like this lovely one. (I took this picture on my walk to work a couple of days ago.)

Singing of Springtime

2010-03-21T20:31:00.003-05:00

This past week—the last official week of winter—was warm, for Chicago—temps in the 50’s & 60’s with not too much wind. And I was stuck inside with a stomach bug.

This weekend—the first official weekend of spring—was cold and SNOWING yesterday, then in the low 40’s and windy today. And I was feeling GREAT, ready to go for a nice long walk.

Grrrr…

Still, there are signs of spring that make me ecstatically happy, that help me to remember that the warm weather is not far away now. The trees are budding, and the birds are singing…

One of my favorite birds is the cardinal. For some reason, I can always tell when a cardinal is nearby. It just has this very distinctive sweet, melodic call.

On one of our recent walks, I heard this cardinal and then spotted him in a bare little tree, singing away. Iwanski and I crept closer, and he didn’t move—he just kept right on singing. It was so beautiful. And so Iwanski took out his trusty Nikon and captured him in mid-song.

I LOVE this picture…and I also love that on Flickr, Iwanski captioned it “Hey ladies!” He cracks me up.

Even though it was a rather cold weekend, spring is definitely in the air…and to me, it’s these kinds of moments that make life so sweet.

That Friday Night Feeling

2010-03-19T18:14:00.002-05:00

I have been knocked-down, drag-out, yuck-tastically sick for the past few days.

But now, since I’m starting to feel like an actual human being again—and I can actually eat solid foods—I am feeling alright.

It’s now Friday night, and the new Trailer Park Boys movie has FINALLY arrived from Netflix…

Life is good in Miss Healthypants’ world.

Eight Is More Than Enough

2010-03-15T21:44:00.005-05:00

Last week, I started doing my “8 Minutes in the Morning” exercises, which I haven’t done in quite some time.

I used to do those exercises every day, but then I started to get lazy and do only the easier exercises—and then eventually I stopped doing them altogether.

But I’m trying to lose weight, and the 8 minutes plan helped me to lose 40 pounds at one point, so I thought, what the heck, why not try it again?

So I made it through the first week of 8 minutes exercises last week. One week down, no problem. Then today I started on week two.

This morning, in total, I did 48 knee pushups, and 48 rep’s of the “bird dog” exercise. That’s this delightfully horrible exercise where you’re on all fours, and you simultaneously lift your right arm and left leg, at the same time, pause—and then do the same thing with your left arm and your right leg. It looks like this.

Anyway, after 8 heart-pounding minutes and 96 combined rep’s, I was sweating my ass off, and I lay down on my yoga mat, trying to catch my breath.

And it was then that I realized why I stopped doing those exercises in the first place.

These are not “quick ‘n easy” exercises. You really work hard during those 8 minutes!

Still, it is only 8 minutes a day—and even I can deal with that—no matter how much it sucks.

So I will carry on, 8 minutes at a time…

Now if only I can stop eating those damn brown sugar bumps!

Trivial Tangents

2010-03-09T20:17:00.002-06:00

Iwanski and I have a weekday routine.

Every day after work, we eat dinner while watching an episode of Judge Judy. (It’s very important to watch Judge Judy every day. It’s very stress-relieving and entertaining to see people being held accountable for their stupid-ass actions.)

Then, after we eat, we sit down on the couch and watch Jeopardy together. I call it “playing” Jeopardy, because I always try to see if I can answer more questions than Iwanski.

Of course, that’s really a foolish feat, since no one I know has half the random facts stored in their brain that Iwanski does. I’m telling you, this man can name actors in obscure movies that he’s never even seen before. He just remembers EVERYTHING.

Then there’s me. I remember some things really well—my best topics are health (hey, they don’t call me Miss Healthypants for nothin’!), science, and music (sometimes—unless you have to name a famous singer. I’m terrible with names). But ask me to remember a President’s name or the date that a war started or—God forbid—something about British history or the Royal Family, and I’m completely lost. When we get those categories in jeopardy, I just sort-of sit there, staring off into space, absent-mindedly petting the cat who has settled onto my lap. (Autumn loves those categories, as she knows she’ll get a really good belly rub as Iwanski rattles off the names of Senators from the 1950’s.)

It’s similar to the experiences I’ve had playing Trivial Pursuit with Iwanski. At least with Trivial Pursuit, you can keep somewhat entertained and involved in the game by having to read the questions to the other person. And believe me, I’ve had a lot of experience in reading Trivial Pursuit questions to him.

But one of the best games of Trivial Pursuit I’ve ever played was with Iwanski and our good friend Jonathan. We decided we were going to play it as “Tangent Trivial Pursuit.” What that meant was that even if you got a question wrong, you still could earn a piece of Trivia pie by going off on a tangent and telling an interesting and/or funny and/or entertaining story related to the topic of the question. For example, if the question was about dinosaurs, I could tell the story about how all of the women in my family do “tyrannosaurus arms.”

Or if it was about cooking, then Jonathan could tell about the fabulous “ingredient party” he participated in recently.

Of course, along the way as we played the game, we made up more rules. For example, if someone told an incredibly lame story or re-told the same story again, then we could “de-pie” them. But conversely, if someone told an extremely touching or emotional story, they could be “double-pied.”

And of course, if someone told a really bad story and was trying desperately to get a piece of pie, even though he/she was told repeatedly to “give it up,” we would refer to them as a big ole’ pie whore!

It was a really fun (and funny) way to play Trivia, and it actually gave Jonathan and I a chance to beat Iwanski.

But of course, Iwanski still beat us.

But it was fun. Really fun.

And after all, isn’t that really the point of life?

Things That Iwanski and I Don’t Agree On

2010-03-06T20:38:00.004-06:00

I was watching a movie on Lifetime tonight (yes, I admit it, I was actually watching the “I Hate Men” channel), and Iwanski kept talking about how bad the movie was and kept asking me to change the channel, until I finally relented and turned on “The Soup,” a show that we both enjoy.

But it got me thinking: Iwanski and I agree on most things—in fact, before we got married, the church made us take this “pre-marital quiz,” and I remember that the married couple who had administered the quiz to us were very surprised at how many things we agreed upon.

But after almost fourteen years of marriage, I have realized that there are also plenty of things that we don’t agree on. And after pondering on this for all of five minutes, here are some of those disagreements that came to mind:

Iwanski thinks that when socks are taken off, they should be balled up and thrown across the room—preferably at a nearby cat. I disagree (about the balling up and throwing of socks at felines; I’m fine with socks sitting there quietly on the floor, minding their own business).

I feel that the floor is a perfectly acceptable place to put any object—cereal boxes, two-liter soda bottles, purses, free weights…Iwanski feels that the floor is only acceptable for balled-up socks, and he freaks out about cereal boxes on the floor. (“We’re going to get bugs!”) No matter that we’re on the 21st floor of a downtown high rise, and the only bugs we’ve ever gotten in our apartment arrived via flour purchased in the grocery store. (Ewww, those were disgusting!)

Iwanski feels that two Snuggies in one apartment is too many Snuggies. I would be perfectly happy living in a Snuggie village. (Think of how comfy that would be! Ahhhh….)

I am happy when the heat is on full blast and it feels like Hawaii in our apartment. Iwanski likes it when it feels like Alaska in our apartment (and I’m wearing a sweatshirt, sweatpants, socks, and two Snuggies).

I love the movie “Pretty Woman.” I think Julia Roberts is wonderful, and I like the “rags to riches” story. Iwanski thinks it is the worst movie ever made.

Iwanski likes The John Dore Television Show, a mockumentary-style sitcom on IFC. I think John Dore is disgusting, and his show is absolutely ridiculous and horrible.

My idea of a wonderful meal is spaghetti, garlic bread, and a Caesar side salad. Iwanski is not much into Italian food—unless you count the can of Spaghettio’s that he eats at least once a week. (I don’t even count that as real food.)

Iwanski’s idea of a wonderful meal is a 4-piece spicy chicken meal from Popeye’s Chicken, with a biscuit and sides of fries and red beans and rice. I would throw up if I had to eat that meal. It just seems way too greasy to me.

So as you can see, we do disagree on a lot of things.

But we both agree that bacon is the best food known to mankind. And after all, a love of bacon is all a couple really needs to make a marriage work.

Señorita Healthy Pantalones Está Aprendiendo

2010-02-28T18:46:00.006-06:00

Two days ago, I decided to try to learn the Spanish language.

Iwanski and I have had one of those Rosetta Stone Language CD’s for a little while now, so I finally decided to sit down and see what it’s all about.

I’ll tell you one thing, I am glad that I had two years of Spanish in high school. Otherwise, I’m wondering if I would be completely lost. You see, the Rosetta Stone software works by pretty quickly immersing you in the language. There are pictures and all that good stuff, but to me, it’s still all about basic memorization. And I haven’t had to work hard at memorizing anything for a long time.

I can only imagine how difficult it would be to learn Chinese or Arabic, which don’t even use the same alphabet as English.

Nevertheless, I have persisted for the past couple of days and now I know/remember the basic colors and numbers, as well as certain verbs like cantar (to sing), bailar (to dance), saltar (to jump), and beber (to drink). I also remembered the words perro and gato (dog and cat), and have learned that a bird is a pájaro.

The problem is that these are only a few of the massive number of words that I would have to learn to master the language. If I really want to learn this, I will have to actually work at it. There’s no software that will do that for me. (Damn!)

And to add to that, I keep getting confused between the words “to walk,” “to run,” and “to eat,” and “to fall.” They all start with the letter “c” (caminar, correr, comer, and caer), so I haven’t quite yet figured out the trick to keeping them straight in my head. And to add to that, a horse is “un caballo”—and there’s a surprising number of horses that show up in this software. So if you have the sentence “un caballo esta comiendo,” I have no freakin’ clue if the horse (at least I think it’s a horse) is walking, running, eating, or falling. Now, if you have the sentence “un caballo esta comiendo la zanahoria,” at least I know there’s a carrot involved—because zanahoria (a carrot) is at least one word that starts with something besides a c.

So I guess you can say I’ve got some work to do in the memorization department; it’s just not as easy as I thought it would be.

Hmm, I wonder if you can buy language CD’s that you listen to while you sleep, and somehow you magically learn the language by process of osmosis?

Oh, if only…and if only I weren’t so lazy, I could learn a whole new language!

A Fantastic Week

2010-02-22T22:16:00.005-06:00

This past week has been just wonderful for me. Here are just a few of the highlights…

Last Tuesday, I got a package in the mail from my best girlfriend Diane. It was a beautiful gift, a scrapbook of Chicago memories that she had created, from fun times in 2009 that she and I (and Iwanski, and my good friend Jonathan) had experienced together. I could tell that she had worked really hard on it, and it was absolutely amazing and also hilarious. Who could forget about the crazy cat circus that we went to? And how about the “night of ten tequila shots,” when for some reason we thought that it would be a good idea to take one shot of Patron every 20 minutes, “just to keep our buzz going.” That was not the best decision we ever made—but it did make for some funny memories (not to mention hilarious pictures—some of which I hadn’t realized that she had taken). And then there were the little special moments, like the time she and I made a wish and tossed coins into the fountain at Marshall Fields (I know, I know, it’s now Macy’s, but it will always be Marshall Fields to me).

There were so many moments that I had forgotten about, and she compiled them all so beautifully. I was so honored to be given such a gift, and it reminded me of how lucky I am to have such a wonderful friend in Diane…not to mention to have had all of the great experiences that I've had, just in the past year!

I have to be honest; I know this may sound judgmental, but I had always envisioned scrapbooking as some sort of lame craft done by old suburban housewives—but now I realize that I was very wrong about that. If this scrapbook that Diane created is any evidence, then it truly is an art form and can really preserve some beautiful (and funny!) memories.

So that was how my week started.

Then at my weekly one-on-one meeting with my boss, he shared with me that the president of our company told him that she thought that I did a really great job. Rock on!

A couple of days later, Iwanski and I visited the Brookfield Zoo, an excellent zoo in the suburbs of Chicago. I hadn’t been to Brookfield Zoo in at least a couple of years, and Tropic World, one of the largest indoor animal exhibits in the world, is a sight to behold. The best part was watching a couple of gorillas fighting/playing and splashing each other in the exhibit’s pond…and I really can’t believe how loud it is when an adult gorilla beats his chest! I really enjoyed our zoo visit.

Then, in the very same week, we got to enjoy the Shedd Aquarium here in Chicago. This aquarium not only has some of the most amazing fish and water animals, it also has otters, lots of different types of frogs, a couple of very rare Grand Cayman blue iguanas (there are fewer than 30 left in the wild!), and even a few monkeys! But I think that my favorite will always be the sea horses and sea dragons. There’s something about those animals that I find so fascinating. I just think they are so cool-looking.

But my favorite part of this week, hands down, was that Iwanski finally let me read his novel that he’s been working on for the past year. So far I’ve read about half of it, and I am sooo excited! I can absolutely say without any bias that it is definitely a great book so far. I am really into the characters and can’t wait to read on…it’s such a cool story! I am so proud of my hubby, and I hope that it gets published quickly so that you all can read it soon, too!

So there ya’ go—a beautiful gift from my best girlfriend, an awesome compliment from my boss, seeing lots of amazing animals, and reading a wonderful story written by my best friend in the whole world—kick ass!

I am one happy woman.

Train Your Eyes on This

2010-02-16T21:14:00.000-06:00

When I got home from work tonight, I noticed that Iwanski was watching a t.v. show that appeared to have train after train after train running down a track.

I went in the bedroom to change out of my work clothes, assuming that he was watching some kind of Western or something.

But then I began to hear things like…

“At Wilmington, Massachusetts, a commuter train approaches with four wooden coaches, occupying the New Hampshire Route main line.”

Huh?

“What are you watching?” I asked.

“Trains,” he said matter-of-factly. “That’s right, I Tivo’d a show that’s just footage of trains from the 1940’s.”

I stared at him and started laughing.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” he replied. “Really.”

I stood there, watching the t.v. for a few minutes in disbelief.

Sure enough, it was just train after train after train, rolling down the track, interspersed by the most boring commentary I think I have ever heard.

So my husband likes to watch footage of trains from the 1940’s. Do you know ANYONE else who likes to do this?

I cannot think of anything I’d rather watch LESS than footage of trains from the 1940’s.

I’m telling you, I’ve been married to this man for almost 14 years now—and I can honestly say that he just gets weirder and weirder every year.

Encounters

2010-02-14T21:03:00.002-06:00

When I was growing up in my tiny little hometown of Hilbert, Wisconsin, I never would have dreamed in a million years that I’d end up living in downtown Chicago.

But you know what? I absolutely love it.

I love the public transit, the ethnic restaurants, the many unique neighborhoods, the public parks, the free zoo, the tourists, the locals, and the hustle and bustle in the city streets.

And you know what else I love?

Amusing encounters with random strangers.

Like a couple of weeks ago, when a street musician was playing “Happy Together” on his saxophone. You know, the one that goes.

Imagine me and you, I do
I think about you day and night, it's only right
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight
So happy together

Anyway, Iwanski and I were about to cross the intersection, and I noticed that the guy who was with his wife across the street was singing and grooving to the tune. So I started singing, too, and as the light turned green and we crossed the street, Iwanski and I, and the guy and his wife, all sang loudly in unison, “So happy together!”

I love moments like that.

And then there was the incident yesterday, when Iwanski and I, having just purchased cups of coffee from 7-Eleven, walked outside and saw a woman slip and fall on a big patch of ice.

Iwanski immediately sprung into action and went over to help her, cup of coffee in hand—except that he stepped onto another patch of ice right near her. So of course, he started slipping, too, and did a couple of those huge swinging motions with his arms to try to catch himself. Luckily, he caught himself just in the nick of time—but it was totally hilarious-looking. I started cracking up. I think even the woman who had fallen was laughing, as she stood up and brushed herself off. Then, a guy who was passing by and had witnessed the whole thing said to Iwanski, “That was almost awesome.”

That was almost awesome. Hilarious! I couldn’t stop laughing.

People just amuse me.

Of course, there are times when encounters with random strangers don’t go as well—usually when I have a blonde moment and say something stupid.

Like yesterday, when we saw a guy in a wheelchair cursing because he had just missed his train.

Trying to be nice and sympathetic, I said, “I know what you mean, we just missed our bus, too. I feel your pain.”

Yes, that’s right. I told a guy in a wheelchair that I felt his pain. D’oh! Luckily, he had already moved away from me, so I’m not sure that he had even heard what I’d said.

Let’s hope not.

But overall, encounters with random strangers are quite enjoyable. I especially love it when tourists ask me directions or where to get on the train. Often, I am walking that way, anyway, so I just walk with them to show them the way. They are always very grateful, and I enjoy finding out about where they are from and why they are in Chicago.

I think my favorite walk (so far) was with a guy from Dublin, Ireland. He had a relatively thick brogue, so I only understood about half of what he said, but it was fun to listen to him, all the same.

I am so grateful to be living in a city that attracts tourists from near and far.

Encounters with random strangers—yet one more reason that I love living here.

A Friday Haiku

2010-02-12T18:37:00.000-06:00

Work has been busy
I am so glad it’s Friday
Time to chill out now!

I Could Never Live Like That...Or Could I?

2010-02-04T20:58:00.004-06:00

The other day at work, I went down to the 5th floor cafeteria for lunch, sat down at my favorite corner spot, and reached in my bag for the book I’m currently reading…only I forgot my book at my desk upstairs. Damn!

Then I noticed that someone had left two National Geographic magazines on the table right in front of me. Score!

I hadn’t looked at a National Geographic magazine probably since I was a kid (I think my Dad used to subscribe to it), and I remember my 12-year-old self thinking that it was not an interesting magazine (at that age, I was much more interested in learning about boys than in learning about science). Nevertheless, I needed something to read, so I opened the issue from December ‘09 and began flipping through the pages. An article entitled “Are We Alone?” about the possibility of life on other planets grabbed my interest for a few minutes.

Then I turned to an article about a 21-century hunter-gatherer tribe in northern Tanzania…and I was instantly hooked.

The author of the article (Michael Finkel) spent two weeks in Tanzania among the Hadza tribe, a band of people who have never moved on from the hunting/gathering stage of human existence. The men hunt and the women gather. The men hunt for almost any animal that they can eat, including warthogs, zebras, giraffes, and baboons, while the women gather berries, fruit, and edible tubers.

The first thing that really fascinated me about the Hadza is that, according to the author, “They enjoy an extraordinary amount of leisure time. Anthropologists have estimated that they “work”—actively pursue food—four to six hours a day.”

Four to six hours a day of work, with the rest of the day being spent in leisure? I think I could handle that!

Then there is the fact that the Hadza have no real awareness of the “outside,” modern world. When the author asked the leader of the tribe “what he knew about America—the name of the president, the capital city…he said he knew nothing. He could not name the leader of his own country.”

The author continued, “I asked him, as politely as possible, if he knew anything about any country. He paused for a moment, evidently deep in thought, then suddenly shouted ‘London!’ He couldn’t say precisely what London was. He just knew it was someplace not in the bush.”

Wow! Can you imagine not knowing anything about the world around you, other than what’s in your immediate area? Okay, admittedly, there are many people (including myself) with limited knowledge of many places around the world…but at least we know that these places exist! And we certainly are oversaturated with knowledge of pop culture, aren’t we? I wonder if the Hadza have ever seen a television set—or even know what one is. (I highly doubt it.)

And then there is the fact that, according to repeated statements by the leader of the tribe, the Hadza do not worry about anything. Ever. Isn’t that amazing? As the author pointed out, “It was a mind-set that astounded me, for the Hadza, to my way of thinking, had very legitimate worries. Will I eat tomorrow? Will something eat me tomorrow? Yet they live a remarkably present-tense existence.”

Wow. That one really gave me some food for thought. I probably worry at least a little bit every single day of my life. What would my life be like without worry? I can’t even imagine it…but it sounds beautiful and amazing.

So I started to wonder, could I ever live like that? Could I be a hunter/gatherer? It seems like such a peaceful existence, away from all the worries of the modern world…

But then I got to the part of the article where the author discusses the risks inherent in living as the Hadza do, and I quickly realized there would be no way I could handle that kind of life. The author’s description says it best:

“But I could never live like the Hadza. Their entire life, it appears to me, is one insanely committed camping trip. It’s incredibly risky. Medical help is far away. One bad fall from a tree, one bite from a black mamba snake, one lunge from a lion, and you’re dead. Women give birth in the bush, squatting. About a fifth of all babies die within their first year, and nearly half of all children do not make it to age 15. They have to cope with extreme heat and frequent thirst and swarming tsetse flies and malaria-laced mosquitos.”

Women give birth in the bush, squatting? No thank you! That alone is enough to make me not want to live that kind of life. If I am fortunate enough to give birth to a child someday, I want them to pump me full of drugs so I don’t feel a thing.

Yes, I am a woman of the modern world. I like my comfy couch and my hairdryer and my froo-froo olive oil & vinegar and my packaged, pre-washed spinach. I could not live without my asthma inhaler and my allergy medicine.

I like to “hunt” for bargains at Walgreen’s and “gather” fruits and veggies in my shopping basket at the French Market here in downtown Chicago.

I guess in that way, you could say I’m a modern hunter-gatherer.

Or you could just say I’m a wuss. And I’m okay with that.

*To read the entire article about the Hadza people (which I highly recommend; it’s an amazing article), click on this link.

Bulky Bartokomous

2010-01-31T18:42:00.000-06:00

My friend Jonathan is a very unique person.

There’s the fact that he grew up as the son of a Baptist minister in small-town Texas and later lived as a Catholic priest-in-training in Toronto…there’s the fact that he is an excellent pianist who can play “Flight of the Bumblebee,” and can also play an absolutely hilarious version of the Brady Bunch theme song…and then there’s the fact that he went to culinary school and has cooked both a three-course delicious Hungarian meal and a complete, delectable raw food feast for my friends and me…

There are many things that make Jonathan an interesting person to be around.

And just recently, I discovered another. While I was hanging out with him at his little studio apartment last Tuesday night and he grabbed a bottle of wine out of his pantry, I noticed that he tends to buy foods in bulk…but not foods that most people buy in bulk, like cereal or toilet paper. For example, he had…

A huge tub of cumin!

Who ever needs this much cumin?!

Then there was this big jar of cloves. Tell me, when was the last time you used even ONE clove in your cooking? Surely no one really needs this many!

And then there was the green tea that Jonathan bought “online, for really cheap”…four boxes of it! (The next day, Jonathan called me at work and told me that he found a FIFTH box of green tea on top of his fridge.) I guess I know who to call if this country ever faces a massive green tea shortage!

But then I noticed something even funnier to me. He also had the TINIEST bottles of ketchup and mustard! Aren’t they cute? That hit me so funny. Surely, you would never need more than a couple of tablespoons of ketchup or mustard…but apparently you need loads of cumin, cloves, and green tea!

Yes, Jonathan is indeed a unique person. I don’t know anyone else who would have that much cumin and that little ketchup and mustard.

Oh, and did I also mention that he has a bird feeder?! But Jonathan doesn’t use it as a bird feeder—he uses it to serve candy to his coworkers (one piece at a time). So I guess it’s not so much a bird feeder as a people feeder.

I’m really glad to have Jonathan not only as my friend, but also as my neighbor. After all, you never know when you’re going to need to borrow ten cups of cumin!

The Bestest Girlfriend

2010-01-30T00:00:00.000-06:00

Today is the birthday of my best girlfriend, Diane.

Diane has been with me through thick and thin (and this year she’s thin, and I’m a bit thicker than last year!), and she is one of the most kind and generous people I have ever known.

One of my favorite stories about Diane was from before she bought her current home, when she used to live in an apartment building in a small town, with several very friendly neighbors. I mean, these people actually knew each other—and I don’t mean just knew each other’s names, just casual acquaintances—but they actually did things together like potluck lunches, stuff like that. (I guess that kind-of thing happens sometimes in small towns. In my apartment building here in Chicago, I only know one of my neighbors’ names, and she’s a dog.)

Anyway, one year at Christmastime, on St. Nick’s Day, Diane made up little gifts (I think they were stockings) with candies and homemade treats, and very late at night, she tiptoed around her apartment building and secretly hung the gifts on all of her neighbors’ doors.

Now isn’t that just the sweetest thing?

That’s exactly the type of person Diane is. Sweet, generous, and kind.

And I am lucky enough to call her friend.

Happy Birthday, Diane! May you have many more wonderful years ahead—you deserve them!

Snow Bunny or Beach Bunny?

2010-01-25T20:28:00.012-06:00

A couple of weeks ago, here's how I looked:

Except for a breathtakingly warm heat wave this weekend (temperatures in the 40's), I feel like it's been a pretty cold winter so far.

And I am SO over it already!

So I decided that Iwanski and I were going to have our very own "night at the beach." I cranked up the heat, put on my swimsuit, and spread a couple of beach towels on the living room floor. Then I made some margaritas and put on some Jamaican music, and Iwanski and I sat on the beach towels and enjoyed our summer evening.

It was really fun; I think we'll have to do that now every time I get sick of winter.

Wait a minute, that would be like, every day. (Reaches for her margarita)...Oh, well, ya' gotta do what ya' gotta do!

My Husband Makes Me Laugh

2010-01-21T20:56:00.003-06:00

Tonight, while my husband was cooking a delicious pasta dinner, I expressed my concern that we might not have enough to eat for the meal. (I’m paranoid about not having enough to eat; this could be the reason why I’m having a hard time losing weight right now!) But it turned out that with the pasta dish and sides of broccoli and corn muffins (yummy!), we had more than enough to eat.

Later on, we had this conversation:

Iwanski: I’m sorry if I didn’t cook enough for dinner.

Me: Oh, don’t worry, I had plenty, believe me. Besides (patting my belly), do I look like I’m starving?

Iwanski (putting his arms around me): You’re jolly.

I’m glad that I’m married to a man who makes me laugh every day.

Cadbury Bunny + Hee Haw Theme Song = Massive Silliness

2010-01-18T21:08:00.007-06:00

The other night, Iwanski was watching Hee Haw, and just for fun, I pressed the sound activation on the little stuffed Cadbury Bunny I had received as a gift.

All of the sudden we noticed that the bunny's clucking was almost perfectly matching the tone and rhythm of the Hee Haw theme song...so of course we had to record it!

I hope you enjoy this--we sure did! (And yes, that's my hand moving in time with the music to keep the bunny clucking.)

Sometimes it's the little silly moments that make life worth living.

Watching Too Much

2010-01-13T22:41:00.010-06:00

I haven’t felt very inspired to write lately.

I think Facebook and yoga are taking up too much of my time—oh yeah, and mindless television, too. There’s that. But who doesn’t indulge in a little mindless television once in a while?

At least I’m watching shows that make me laugh. And laughter is good for you. So there.

Have any of you seen the show “Better Off Ted”? Bad title, but hilarious sitcom. As is typical with many good shows, when I watched the first couple of episodes, I thought it was pretty dumb. But as is typical in the Iwanski household, Iwanski thought it had some great potential and kept watching, while I sort-of half-listened to it while doing other things…and eventually it got to be one of the funniest sitcoms I’ve seen in a long time. It’s definitely wacky, I’ll tell you that. I love how it pokes fun at evil corporations. Freakin’ hilarious.

I’ve also been enjoying “The Middle” and “Modern Family”—both funny shows about unique families. Last week’s episode of “The Middle” starred Brooke Shields in a cameo appearance as a crazy neighbor lady with a mullet. Brooke Shields in a mullet was definitely a must-see.

Then there’s this new “Modern Family” show. I have heard so many people talk about how they love that show; it really seems to have attracted quite a following. Which is good, because it’s really funny and showcases some unique family situations, including a gay couple with an adopted Vietnamese baby. It also stars Ed O’Neill, one of Iwanski’s and my favorite actors. Love. It.

For Christmas, Iwanski and I received an AMC Movie gift card. Everyone keeps telling us to go see Avitar, but we’re not sure what movie we want to see yet. Part of the problem is that we’re so used to watching sitcoms and movies that we’ve Tivo’d at home, and being able to pause it whenever we want. I don’t think I could sit through a whole movie in a theater without having to get up to pee or get a soda or something to eat. Speaking of which, did you know that there’s a website that tells you the best times to get up and pee during a movie? I kid you not—it’s called runpee.com.

I just checked, and they do have “runpee times” on there for the movie Avitar.

So maybe we will go see Avitar. Or maybe we’ll just hold on to that movie gift card until the summer, when all the sitcoms on t.v. are in re-runs.

Yes, I plan my free time around having to pee and sitcom schedules. This is what Tivo has done to me.

Sorry, Tivo, I didn’t mean to say anything bad about you. Please don’t stop working. I love you.

A Taste of Summer

2010-01-10T17:11:00.009-06:00

Today, it was about 15 degrees outside…so Iwanski and I decided to take a trip to summer…

The place we went had palm trees, ferns, and cacti—it even had waterfalls…

It is the Garfield Park Conservatory, a very beautiful place on Chicago’s west side.

Ahhh...what a lovely summer day...

Snuggle Suits

2010-01-05T17:05:00.013-06:00

OK, I'm so totally going to get one of these...

************************************************
Snuggle Suits: For When You Want Your Robe To Look Business Cazh

Snuggle Suit: Like a Robe, with Pants! Or a Snuggie, with an ass covering!

*************************************************

Just kidding--I'm not really going to buy one! But don't they look uber-comfortable? If I owned a business, that would be the office uniform. (Of course, I guess I'd have to make an exception for people like my husband, who is always freakin' warm--the lucky bum!)

It is currently 21 degrees here. Oh well, at least it's better than our expected high for this coming Saturday--13 degrees! Brrr!

Thank God for my two Snuggies.*

*And thanks to the nieciest niece, for sending me this link!

A Special New Year’s Gift

2009-12-31T16:24:00.006-06:00

My family got the best New Year’s present today!

My niece Stacy—who’s always been like a sister to me—had a beautiful baby girl at 12:31 AM today (at 12:31 on 12/31—don’t you love it?).

Little Nina Avery is the first child for Stacy and her husband Nabil, and from what I hear, they are absolutely thrilled. Apparently Stacy said, “She’s perfect!” And Nabil said, “She’s really ours!”

It’s just wonderful to see such a sweet, loving couple have a such a sweet little bundle. I am so happy for them!

Here are a couple of pictures for you to enjoy.

Here's the beautiful little girl in her Mommy's arms.

Here are the happy parents with little Nina.

Happy New Year, everyone! May the new year bring you many moments as precious as this.

Holiday Highlights

2009-12-27T18:48:00.009-06:00

Christmas always goes by so fast, doesn’t it?

Well, here are some of the highlights of my Christmas (besides the aforementioned bacon jam miracle):

--Seeing the video on Facebook of my 2 ½-year-old niece Nora’s face lighting up as she opened her Christmas present from us (a play dough set complete with probably 10 different colors of play dough, and a bunch of play dough toys). (She pointed at the different play dough toys and said she wanted to play with “this and this and this.”)

--Singing Christmas carols with my good friend Jonathan and doing three-part harmony on “Silent Night” with him, Iwanski, and me.

--My coworker very generously giving me a pair of her winter boots that I had borrowed and loved. (I still can’t believe she gave them to me—that was so nice of her!)

--Arriving at my mother-in-law’s house on Christmas Eve to see the traditional “A Christmas Story” leg lamp lit up in her front room window.

--Enjoying some really good wine with Iwanski’s sister Anna, and chatting and telling jokes with her and his Mom while everyone else enjoyed their hundredth (or so) viewing of “A Christmas Story.”

--Cuddling with Iwanski by the fireplace until it was midnight and officially Christmas Day.

--Looking around Iwanski’s Mom’s kitchen and trying to find out exactly what time it was, only to find that she had four clocks in there, all set to a completely different time. That was hilarious!

--Iwanski pointing out that he wanted to find a book to read in his Mom’s house, but the only books he could find were a bunch of books about gambling and the book “Git-R-Done” by Larry the Cable Guy. (To be fair, she also had “My Life in France” by Julia Child, but she was in the middle of reading that one.)

--Taking presents from the back of Iwanski’s Mom’s van in the church parking lot while she was attending mass there. (They were our presents that we were bringing to his sister’s house, but if a cop came along right then, I’m not sure that he would have seen it that way.)

--Stuffing ourselves silly on awesome appetizers at Iwanski’s sister’s house. (I loves me some Spinach dip!)

--Playing “everything goes” ping pong with Iwanski’s nephews, where ping pong balls hit off walls or off the floor were still within play.

--The “re-used/re-gifted” gift exchange, where Iwanski’s Mom generously gave me a wallet full of half-used or unused gift cards. (It was fun finding out the values on all of them—and I’ve already spent the Sears and the Chili’s gift cards—yay!)

--The white elephant gift exchange/Yankee swap game, where we gave a bunch of kitchen items (including a omelet pan and a can of Cuban Black Beans) that we never used and a foot massager that I rarely used—and where I got a cute teapot & mug and Iwanski got a “how to speak Spanish” computer game, which he really wanted. It’s always enjoyable to find out that another person’s trash is indeed another person’s treasure.

--Singing Christmas songs with Iwanski’s sister while helping her in the kitchen (I stirred the gravy—that’s about the extent of my cooking “talent”).

--Stuffing ourselves silly on turkey, ham, stuffing, potatoes, sweet potatoes, pineapple souffle, cranberries, green beans and spaetzles, parsnips, corn, rolls, and other dishes that I can’t even think of right now.

--Listening to Iwanski’s uncle talk about his days as a cab driver in Chicago.

--Giving presents to and spending time with the lovely adults and children in the Iwanski family.

--Talking to my Daddy-o and Mamacita on the phone and sharing many of these Christmas stories with my Mamacita. (We sent them Christmas gifts and will be seeing them probably in January or February.)

--And last but not least…getting a second Snuggie! My friend Jonathan got me a leopard print one, which I also love. Here’s a picture of him and me in my two Snuggies.

I hope your Christmas was as merry and bright as mine was!

A Holly, Jolly, Bacon-y Christmas

2009-12-22T21:31:00.003-06:00

Recently, our good friend Lorraine wrote a post on Facebook about bacon jam.

What’s bacon jam, you ask?

Well, according to the website that Lorraine mentioned (skilletstreetfood.com), to make the “jam” (it sounds more like a chutney to me), they “take a big bunch of really really good bacon, and render it down...add a bunch of spices..onions, etc..and let it simmer for about 6 hours…give it a quick puree, and blast chill it…and you have bacon jam.”

Oh, my. I had to have some. More importantly, I had to get Iwanski some. It sounded right up his alley.

So I hopped on the website and ordered me up some bacon jam. Normally I would have tried to keep it a secret from Iwanski, so I could surprise him later, but I couldn’t wait. I told him about the order, and he and I both eagerly awaited the arrival of bacon-y goodness.

Five days later, it had arrived. Iwanski called me at work to tell me about it.

“Well, the bacon jam came today,” he said, “but the jar was already open, and it leaked all over the inside of the box. It smells awful.”

“Oh no!” I exclaimed. Apparently after a jar of bacon jam is opened, it has to be refrigerated. And after five days in the mail, that stuff was NASTY.

After he smelled that stench, I was afraid that Iwanski wouldn’t even want to try the fresh stuff. (And let’s face it—I wanted to try it as much as he did!) But undaunted, Iwanski e-mailed the company to request a replacement jar.

Later that night, I went out to dinner with my friends Jonathan and Liane. We exchanged Christmas presents and began opening them.

As I reached into the gift bag from Liane, I pulled out something wrapped in tissue paper.

I unwrapped it, and I gasped…

BACON JAM!

I was stunned and sat there with my eyes and mouth wide open. “Oh my gosh!” I said, with a huge smile on my face. “If you only knew—I have to tell you a story…” And I told her and Jonathan my tale of bacon jam woe. They were both amazed, too, at the crazy coincidence.

“I have to call my husband,” I said.

So I called Iwanski, and he was really surprised, too. “It’s a gift of the bacon magi!” he exclaimed.

“It’s a Christmas bacon miracle!” I declared.

I still can’t believe that happened. Oh, and the verdict on the bacon jam? I haven’t tried it yet, but Iwanski said that it was pretty good—maybe a little too sweet for his taste—but that means I’ll probably love it.

I think the Universe often delivers us these little miracles that we call “coincidences.” And I think God himself (or herself) had a huge laugh as he/she concocted this little bacon miracle.